How are things so far? Winter Sowers are the most generous gardeners around. I'm glad Aquawise is going to help you, she's a nice person, she sent me seeds right away. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. It's that time of year, and I've gotten blue too, but sowing always lifts my spirits. I will probably have extra seeds that i can send you, I'll have to wait and see though, this is my first year. Just wanted to share my concern and support. I hope you are feeling better today, and the days to come. Take Care, we're on the other side of winter now, the days are starting to get shorter and there will be more sunshine. I'm sorry you couldn't bring any of your plants with you. Most of my stuff I've gotten for free. I walk around the neighborhood and ask for cuttings. About 4 years ago I asked this women who had an awesome flower bed which was in bad shape (weeds galore) if I could work just for plants. She hired me right on the spot and I got anything I wanted. We're still good friends. It will get better. Let me know, keep in touch. Email me. Micki

Fly, Jane's been doing the "populist" thing for quite some time now. She handed over day-to-day control of the research at Gombe a long time ago and started working the public and the politicians. I worked for her about 10 years ago for a while and she never spent more than a few days in any one location (aside from a couple of weeks at Gombe and a couple of weeks in England with her mother here and there) - - she constantly traveled the world trying to spread her messages of conservation, animal rights and public service. I don't know if she is still keeping up that strenuous schedule but I wouldn't doubt it. Lena and others: I agree that Steve was more effective at reaching the masses, and this was largely because of the thrill of watching him in dangerous situations. However, I'm not convinced of the relative benefits of his educational message. OK, so he convinced people in their living rooms around the world that crocodiles should not be eradicated. But does it matter a whole lot whether someone in Ohio believes that? Isn't it more important to make a local impact in that respect? I know, he did that as well (at least with respect to crocodiles), but IMO he could have done so without jumping all over them on t.v. just for the showmanship of it. In the beginning, didn't his show focus on actually being sent out to catch and relocate dangerous animals? Now that I can understand, because he's actually benefitting the animal in the end. But catching them just to show off for cameras reflects a certain lack of respect for the animal IMO. For me, it's a question of quality over quantity. He may have reached more people, but I don't think the message he carried had the anywhere near the level of respect for the natural world that other naturalists are actively trying to cultivate. Furthermore, adding a "do as I say, not as I do" caveat to his exploits did not, IMO, counteract the implicit message that tough guys mess with dangerous animals. If you've ever been to Yellowstone or somewhere like it, you saw that there was always one (or more) in a crowd who had to push the limits, getting foolishly close to the animals. This put the animal in a bad situation as well as the other observers. While people did this before Steve's show came out, I doubt it could be said that his actions did anything to discourage this type of behavior.

Thanks for your response, Sweeby. That is a very interesting point about whether the relationship was good or not. Generally, I think you are right about that. Odd, one would think the better relationship would be more sorrowfully mourned. But one also mourns the lost opportunities. No, there is no unfinished business. I did everything I could have done to try to save that marriage. And I negotiated with him much longer than I had to in order to arrange issues with the children. There is nothing more I could have done. He has gone on with his life and so have I. As it turns out, he is o.k. There was surgery which showed that there was no malignancy after all. The growths on his spine were removed and with therapy he should recover. I am glad about that. But I am puzzled by how emotional my sadness felt. My relief doesn't feel that way at all. There are just a lot of practical reasons that it's good he will still be around. It is very strange not to understand why I feel the way I do. I'm just glad the crisis is over.

Lisa, I am sorry to read about the loss of your dog. I just wanted to share my own experience with a similar situation...maybe it will help you feel better about your choice. I took my 13-year old cat to the vet because of sudden weight loss and markedly poor coat. X-rays revealed an intestinal mass and I was given three options. I could put him down right away, put him through more testing that would stress him physically and emotionally, or send him for exploratory surgery. In the end, I chose the surgery. I thought "I know cats that have lived to 18 or 20" and to be honest, I was young, he was my first pet, and I was not ready to let go and have him euthanized. The vet did warn me that it could be difficult for him to recover, but she said she would make the smallest incision possible. I was at work on his surgery day when she called to tell me it was a huge mass involving his stomach and intestine and that due just to the size of the tumor, he would never have good quality of life again. She recommended euthanasia, which I of course realized was the best thing for him. I was unable to leave work so she euthanized him while he was still under for surgery. To this day I am devastated when I think I could have let him go without the trauma of that last overnight at the vet, the surgery, and especially not being able to say goodbye. As others have said, it is so very difficult when we have to make these kinds of decisions, and it's worse when you feel like you don't have time to think and weigh your options. But I believe that you chose well and did the most loving and caring thing left to do for your dear dog. I hope that time brings you peace with your decision.