Moving on is hard.

12 years ago

I'm gonna go ahead and apologize in advance for what's sure to be a long, rambling, "just thinking out loud" kind of post.

Okay, so, five years ago we moved into what we thought was our dream house. We live about 10 minutes outside of Boston in a fairly urban suburb, if that makes sense. Our house, while not huge, is 3000 sq. ft. and it often feels too big for our family of four. The house has been wondeful, don't get me wrong. We've put a lot of sweat equity into it and are now enjoying the fruits of our labor. But, (there's always a but!) lately my husband and I have been feeling that it might be time for a change. We had wanted our kids to grow up in the city we so loved growing up in (where we currently live), but I've slowly come to realize that this no longer IS the city we grew up in. I feel like a bunch of little signs that it's time to move on are being thrown in front of me...our cars were broken into weeks apart...our pumpkins were smashed all over the street on the morning after Halloween, etc. Still, I'm having hard time letting go. Back in June we started house hunting in another town(actively if half-heartedly). A couple weeks ago we found the perfect house. This property is just SO idyllic. It looks like a Norman Rockwell painting come to life. I truly feel that we'd all be happier there. The school system in this town is great and people are friendly. It's like Small Town, USA 20 minutes outside of Boston. The best of both worlds. We're pretty close to having an accepted offer worked out. Our house is supposed to hit the MLS today. And yet, I'm hesitant. I'm getting cold feet and second guessing our decision. I know it's silly - we're planning to move 15 minutes away not cross country! - and I know my family will be wonderfully happy in this new town, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm giving up on my hometown, ya know? I just needed to "say" all of this "out loud" so thanks for listening!

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Comments (13)

Jamie
12 years ago
I know where you're coming from. It is unusual for Boston area folk to move. It just isn't done. We lived in and restored a farmhouse in Dover, and it was idyllic in a sense but even my grandchildren would have been strangers and newcomers.

Make sure you completely understand the traffic situation before you move. Loud traffic and a busy road is one thing in Waltham where you're used to it and you expect it. In Hopkinton, where you expect Norman Rockwell, the same traffic can really grate on you, especially after driving 45 minutes away from the city.
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tinam61
12 years ago
I think it sounds wonderful! Granted, I am so not a city girl, but it really sounds like the best of both worlds!!
Let us know how it works out.

tina
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You are beating yourself , you know that eh? I've worked in hospitals since i was 19 years old. Your condition is a serious one. I know many people who were advised by their physicians to make a move like you just said. i know my own cousin is living their now because of her arthritis. And yes, she would have been ina wheel chair if she stayed. Listen. your daughter understands. You have kept a great relationship with her regardless of the distance. She came to try and was miserable...she does love you.SHe knows you love her... Would you honestly have stayed and then passed away and then your daughter would have neverhad those conversations with you at all? You sister can stuff it..sorry....when someone is in such pain, your mind is nto their , you can' function. Its not a life! You are fine stayihng where you and continue to keep in touch with your daughter and pay for as many flights for her to come donw throughout the year. Invite her and her friends to come down. mini vacations. You never know! she may find someone near you and move down in 2 years! For now shes at this age she wants her friends and she needs to balance her friends and you in her life. She understands that you cannot physically doit. Please stop beating yourself. You are not a deadbeatparent. You didn't reject your child. She also could not live under the conditions you had to. You did what was best for her and she honestly sounds well balanced. Do you have a webcam on your computer???? skype??? its great and fun! you can see your daughter while talking..i think its the coolest thing. My family is also far away andi dont get to see my twin and i think having that just brings us closer! You are doing a great job keeping in touch. Calling and talking for 3 hours! omg...i can imagine your phone bills! You are a person....loving mom...she knows it.....dont knock yourself.
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DLM2000-GW
12 years ago
danielleg I am living a variation of this myself so do understand your mixed feelings. And I think that's the bottom line - you have mixed feelings that are valid and need to acknowledge both. There may not ever be a clean, simple, total break of emotion from your current home - it's not as if something horrid and tragic is making you leave, but smaller annoying factors. It's only natural be in the midst of change and have moments of hesitation. Honestly, your move sounds so exciting to me because you will be changing your life without having to change absolutely everything you know - how perfect is that? You still get to have coffee with your current friends and make new ones at the new school/neighborhood! You're not really giving up on your town as much as expanding your horizons into another one. I hope the new house offer is accepted and your current house is just what someone else has been waiting for.
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dgranara
Original Author
12 years ago
Hi all, sorry about the post and run - I was just so busy yesterday I didn't have a chance to sit down at the computer. Thank you all for the encouragement.

As of last night we have an accepted offer! I don't want to say too much until we have a signed P&S, but I'm feeling pretty good about things.

Here's a pic of the house...I look at it whenever I start to panic. How could I not be happy there, right?
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DLM2000-GW
12 years ago
Now THAT'S a home! What a lovely scene to come home to, pulling in that drive. Hope all the contract necessaries fall into place so you can share more info soon.
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nancybee_2010
12 years ago
What a beautiful house! Beautiful lawn, trees, everything. I hope it all works out for you.
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natal
12 years ago
Hope all goes well with the sale. Have you put an offer down on the new place?

My SIL lives in Belmont in the family home and SO needs to downsize. She's been dragging her feet for years. Her son keeps trying to convince her to come down here.
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susan209
12 years ago
That house couldn't be any more wonderful and beautiful than it is......what a gorgeous yard to go along with it. I am a little jealous right now, I always wanted a home like that. I hope that everything works out perfectly for the four of you and that you'll be happy ever after in just the right spot!
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Faron79
12 years ago
That really is a pretty place & setting!

....wish I was buyin' it!!

Faron
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stinky-gardener
12 years ago
Beautiful! I think you're going to like it there!

When you say you have an accepted offer, do you mean on the house you are selling, or on the house you want to buy? I'm confused!

The only thing holding me back would be that it's a great time to buy...but a not so great time to sell. That doesn't sound like an issue at all for you though, so that's really great. If someone is eager to buy your house at a reasonable price...fantastic.

I see you bought in 2006, when the market was sky high, like me! ( That's why *I* can't move, and may never be able to move, boo hoo.)
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dgranara
Original Author
12 years ago
Thank you all, again. To clarify, we have an accepted offer on the house we are buying. We were able to work out a deal with a closing date in late February/early March, so that gives us four months to sell. Luckily, real estate is moving fairly quickly in our area, so we are confident our house will sell quickly as long as it's priced right.

As far as buying when the market was high, we lucked out in that we got a great deal on a fixer upper at that time. We are very lucky to have a good amount of equity in the house. My husband and I are both in real estate (I'm a real estate paralegal, he flips houses) so we kind of saw the crash coming and were able to negotiate a decent purchase price.

We're still a ways away from having all the pieces in place, but we're hoping everything continues to go smoothly.
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stinky-gardener
12 years ago
Wow, Danielle, everything sounds perfect. Good for you! I'm sure all will continue to go smoothly. Best wishes!
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bestyears
12 years ago
Your leap is terrifying....your landing will be soft......
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Moving on is hard.

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