Thank you, each and everyone for the thoughts. I found your understanding very sweet and comforting. I am sure we will enjoy our new location once we get things "wrapped up." I will miss all the roses I have grown, but drought, blight and viruses have already accounted for about a 25% loss of what we grew a few years ago and now we have shovel-pruned others due to disease intolerance, lackluster performance, etc. So we grow less than half of what we did just 5 years ago; we are down to fewer than 200 roses. My Noisettes, (including the beautiful Crepuscule) all took to their death bed over the last few months, on the coattails of losing many other roses to RRD in recent years. I was told the reason for the noisette/ornamental cherry tree losses was a soil-borne "blight..." I got the official report but I was inundated in pressing matters such as a new roof from a storm, floors from a flood, putting the house back together after having to move everything out, wash it, clean it, dry it and do it all over again, to the pressing health issues of a family member, so I just filed it away, knowing that this too would pass. The verbal report (and what I read in the local paper were similar), that many other people in my area had the same thing. It sounded to me like going to the doctor with a sore throat and low-grade fever, getting an antibiotic,a steroid and a pat on the back with the infamous medical statement, "it's a virus, it's going around,I have seen ...cases....blah, blah, blah..." You just take the medicine and move on. We will grow a few roses, but the "powers that be" sort of determine what one can and cannot grow. Fortunately, since I have worked with the master gardeners in the historical gardens, perhaps they will be more lenient. I want to grow Crepuscule again, so I want to try it at my new home. Duchesse, Caroline lives about 80 miles east. I know that you too have probably noted this as I have, that people think because we live in Alabama, we all live close together. In fact, Alabama has a pretty diverse terrain in terms of physical features (and diverse zone conditions as well as a diverse citizenry), from the world's whitest sand/bluest beaches on the Gulf Coast, to the state capital (and former Confederacy/Goat Hill in Montgomery), to the marble quarries of Sylacauga, (home to the world's finest and whitest marble), to Birmingham formerly known as Pittsburg of the South (now one of the fastest growing cities in the country with cutting-edge medical teaching university), to Mt Cheaha, the tail end of the southern segment of the Blue Ridge, also part of the Cumberland Plateau and even my little area (the oldest industrial/manufacturing city in Alabama). Thanks for allowing me to vent!!!!! http://www.prattville.com/Default.asp?ID=5

most likely water logged. might have root rot. i would repot in a 10-12 quart pot with a dry mix of potting soil and perlite. leave it outside in full sun for a week. then water once a week, just enough so the water starts coming out of the bottom. after it has put out 3-4 new leaves then you can water about twice a week. keep checking the trunk for any soft/mushy parts. if there are any soft spots you may have to cut and try to root the top part. i would cut off the two large limp leaves and trim off the black part on the new leaf.

Thank you all for your comments (except for vhehn - seriously, if you want to tell me I'm an idiot (or, conversely, that you are the smartest person in the world), why hide it, just tell me you think I'm a moron and be done with it. You don't know me, and you assume that I'm throwing away perfectly good (and hard-earned, mind you) money because I'm a d*mb*ss. If gloating in front of someone who's down is the way you roll, I'm so glad I don't know you in person.) - 15 hours after the initial discovery of "OMG, it's happened again" (and the resulting pit in our stomaches), our anger and sadness has mellowed a bit, abut we're both intent on salvaging this situation in a professional and drama-free manner. I probably haven't chewed on the situation enough, but after digesting your comments and putting all the pieces together, I'm inclined to do the following: 1) wait for her response (except I really really really want/need to know if we submitted, and/or if we're submitting on Monday, omg......), 2) unless there's a fantastic reason why Friday didn't go as agreed, request an off-site coffee meeting with the architect and synthesize your comments in to a conversation that says, basically: look, we think you're a really talented architect [she is!], but it's clear you're extremely busy, and maybe too busy to devote the type and timing of attention on our project that we need. It's causing us a lot of unnecessary stress and heartburn, especially this early in what we know will be a stressful year and a half [between the rest of planning and the build]. We see a couple of good solutions: a) now that you know how difficult the slipping of schedule has been on not only the timing of our project but on us personally, if you'd like to continue working on our project, we'd like to continue working with you, but we need hard milestones. [and then discuss the milestones, timing, etc....maybe these need to be in writing.....]. 2) if you're just too busy and don't see that changing, we'd be disappointed but would be willing to transfer the plans to another architect to complete - do you have any that you'd recommend? How do we properly transfer the plans? As you can tell, I do soft-pedal rather than throw blame in situations like this - I'm very willing to be firm, but it needs to be in my own voice, and unfortunately (I guess), that's my voice when dealing with people that I actually like (err, you "heard" my other voice above, when responding to others!). chisue - thank you for understanding, and yes, she's licensed, has a nice boutique business, and is actually really talented. she just sucks as client service. We found her as a referral from a neighbor who has (in our opinion) the prettiest new build in the neighborhood - we live in a 50's era rancher town on quarter acre lots in a part of the country where that's considered really big - most of the Bay Area is on 4000-5000 sq ft lots). To his credit, he DID warn us that while she's a terrific architect, she'd be "tough to get a hold of, as she's very busy" (maybe that was neighbor-code for "she'll miss every deadline"). dixiedoodle - agreed, I'm not planning on getting any $ back, so that's not what I'm after. Actually, for the $ we've paid thus far, we ((heart)) the house plan. Yes, in hindsight, the comments that translate to "they're more important than you" are, at best, inappropriate. At the time(s), it seemed more like casual chit-chat. feedingfrenzy, sue36 and sovra - thank you all - your comments and thoughts are the basis for the planned conversation. We actually *would* like her to see the plans through, just need to figure out how to tell her that we can't continue this way, it's too painful. I will go post this in Conversations to see in M-A has additional thoughts. What do you all think of the planned conversation, and how would you tweak it?

tos~ How she and her best friends have maintained their friendship, despite the miles, is a source of amazement to all of us. They have a very special relationship and they are all so close. I was just speaking to one of the other mothers last pm, and we both continue to marvel at the strength of their bond. They make it a point to spend lots of time together whenever they can (when she's here for visits). My stepson is best friends with the 2 older brothers in the families, and we adults are friendly as well...have occasional cookouts, pool parties, etc. Although, I think the kids friendship has fostered the adult/family gatherings.... As far as her friends in NC...the majority of her non-school time is spent in dance class, so she is friendly with the girls she dances with. But she says that she really doesn't have any super-close school friends that she "hangs out with", etc. She rarely has sleepovers or talks of anything she does with other kids there. Mostly she is at the dance studio...she's a very accomplished dancer. Lack of good friends there was actually one of the things she discussed when she brought up the idea of coming here for high school. So tos, it's your turn....are you a step-parent? Are you a NCP? What would you have told your daughter in the "hypothetical" situation I posted?...seriously WWYD? Like you, I have no intention of EVER divorcing, but I can "imagine" what I'd do if I were faced with a similar situation....so, please, tell us what you'd say. For the record, my DH fought the move in court. Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and spousal infidelity has NO bearing on custody, whatsoever. Michigan is VERY pro-mom, despite the fact the courts say they have no "gender bias". Essentially, the only time a mother does not win custody is if she can be deemed "unfit", due to drugs or extreme circumstances. Even homeless mothers win custody here...since we have many women/children shelters, etc. It's really disturbing that the courts do not really have the best interest of the child as their main focus. At the time of his ex-wife's affair, the children were ages 1 & 4. Since they were babies (toddler) he felt that the kids should stay in their home, and with his work schedule at the time, it just made more sense for her to stay in the house. He got an apartment closeby with the understanding that it would be temporary while they "worked on it". Obviously, the outcome was different than the plan. Trust me, if he could have changed the outcome of the custody situation, he would have. Initially, they had joint custody, 50/50 split. When she decided to move, she filed for sole physical, joint legal. He fought it and lost. The judge thought that her soon-to-be new husbands job promotion was more important than children having close, easy access to both parents. That was the sole deciding factor...her husbands increased income. So they can use spouse income to decided custody, but they won't use it to calculate child support...go figure...great court system.