Thank you for the thoughtful answers... and Sweeby, for the equally important question! I think I have been going back and forth (at least subconsciously) about who this party is for. DS was a very difficult child in his early years (basically until high school), so we are happy, and relieved!, that he has turned out well! So in part, this party is a celebration of that -- but we would never say to him what we're thinking, which is "We never thought we'd see this day!" But many of the adults in attendance know his story and will appreciate the significance of the day. So I think I am trying to combine the "toast the parents and the kid who have (all) worked so hard to get here" and the "have your friends come too, and celebrate just being done with high school" themes. I didn't even think about having a separate area for the teens, but that is a great idea. I'm trying to keep the party mostly outside, but the teenagers can congregate in the basement. I can put coolers of soda and bowls of chips and stuff down there. I also agree with hhireno that he should be capable of a brief speech to thank people for coming. I'm sure he'd do that. I'm thinking too, instead of the collage, I can put his 'school years' photos in small frames and scatter them around the tables. I think in the end, he'll roll his eyes but let me do what I want w/ the photos.

Okay, thanks for your responses. I was just too stuck on the champagne so I got 2 bottles but am skipping the OJ. That way she can open them or not but I think she will be more than happy to partake immediately - after all, it is a celebration! I think that was a enough but I ordered some flowers from my favorite shop and will pick them up in the morning. Not everyone is appreciative or even cares about such things, but I know this friend really does and it will make her happy - which makes me happy. Win - Win!!

I too think you might want to offer something more substantial as a late-night snack. For one thing, a lot of the kids will probably have been too keyed up to do justice to dinner, for another, they will probably be up most of the night. Your husband's idea is a good one in that with a cheese & cracker tray, the kids can munch as they please...but maybe make it a bit more substantial with the addition of some cold cuts, rolls & a condiment selection? Feeding twenty teenagers can be expensive, so a container of tuna or egg salad could round things out a bit. Lord knows when and how the kids will wake up...early, late, all in a bunch or by dribs and drabs? I think your husband has the right general idea, again. Grab 'n' Eat stuff can work no matter how they wake. Muffins, bagels, doughnuts. Some butter, jam, cream cheese & fruit. One suggestion on the non-menu side, is to have somebody responsible for cleaning up the leftovers before everyone drops off to sleep. Dunno what the varmint make up is on your brother-in-law's land, but one hungry skunk could give them all a graduation to remember. :P

Dave asked him what she was thinking taking out an $80,000 loan to be a social worker and how on earth could she expect to pay it off. That is EXACTLY what they need to hear! I think there is way to much emphasis placed on "following your heart" blah blah blah.... Yes - you need to like what you are doing, but you have to be realistic! I know of several kids in college right now that will graduate with very little debt - because they WORK. I think these kids will be the responsible adults that this country is going to desperately need. When my kids go on college visits they look at several programs. We do NOT tell them what to study, but we do have them look into the job availability and the realistic amount of money they will make in that field. Sometimes you have to face the cold hard facts and that is life. They also know "what things cost". When I pay the health insurance - I show them the check. When I pay the orthodontist bill - I show them the check. I don't make this a "look at what I am spending on you" - but more of a reality check - "look at what things cost". They have to know about things like insurance, etc. It isn't how much that car payment is - it is how much is the car payment, the insurance payment, the tax payment, and repairs.... They have to see what it takes in a month to get by. If they have to make a car payment, rent, cell phone, food, etc. .. then have some money left - what does it take? A class teaching these things should be MANDATORY!