During an attack try to focus on something physically very small and specific... it helps to rewire the brain waves to break you out of an attack. Look at your fingernails closely for example and try to come up with specifics or ways to decribe the smallest aspects of them. I watched a PBS special that said anxiety attacks really can be controlled. Part of what you have to do is just tell yourself that what you are thinking is irrational... no matter how true you believe something to be at the time. You have to tell yourself that your brain is NOT thinking correctly and that although you are having these thoughts, they are not rational. You have to re-train you brain not to accept the irrational thoughts. Another thing.. one of the biggest creators of attacks is the worry itself about having an attack and not being able to control it. I have heard a lot of people say that just having Xanax at home puts them at ease even though they never use it... they know they have it if they need it. I'm not saying you have to get the medicine, but realize that the fear of having an attack may be setting you off. If you can convince yourself they are not all that bad and that you won't die, you may be able to keep yourself from having them. Try to keep stress out of your life. Many times aniexty attacks act up when your life is not so happy and peaceful. Can you work on that? Easier said then done, but something you may want to think about. Try a little warm milk with sugar at bedtime to help you relax. Set up a good bedtime ritual so that your body will become relaxed as you are going through your ritual. Try to get enough sleep and accept that you will have some bad nights (don't worry about that on top of everything). Try to think about happy things and not let your mind wonder. Pick something you feel relaxed or that doesn't create tension thinking about... catch yourself and force yourself to go back to your happy thoughts it if your mind starts to wonder. It's all in training your brain to behave the right way for you. Be sure to talk to your doctor if things stay consistantly bad.

Busy, busy days so I couldn't get here for an update - better late than never, right? What a difference 24 hours can make. For starters, Ross seems to have gotten a much better night's sleep (no racing thoughts) and that alone will start a day with a better perspective. He texted me first thing Friday to say that he's put a lot of things together in his mind and has a better understanding of why he 'crashed' and feels more in control, at least in the context of the program he's in. Two days ago he wanted to bail but last night he felt empowered to stay, glean what he can, and let go of feeling inadequate for the program - most of the students are feeling the same way. We've spoken a few times since but between his 18 hour days and the time difference, we don't have a chance to get into long conversations. He sounds so much better, though and I can breathe a bit again. He's coming home the day after the program ends, will have a week here with us and his cousins/my nieces and their kids. It's an interesting dynamic because there's a 1/2 step generation difference - my nieces are like my little sisters and his older sisters at the same time. I've been speaking with my middle niece who has dealt with anxiety issues and she will be great council for Ross. He has really isolated himself at college by choosing the location he did and much as he loves the place, the mountains, the snowboarding, it seems he is feeling the distance as he comes to the end of his college years. And I really think the state of the world, economy and job market are weighing heavily on him. It's damn scary to think about having to launch yourself at this time - I feel so sorry for all of our kids! But coming home will let him see what a large and varied support system he has - just wish his brother could be here also. We'll be doing some research to find a good medical fit for him at school. He has a horrendous fall schedule between classes, labs and research so I know going in he's going resist carving out time for regular sessions if that's needed. With his background, he's been 'therapied' up one side and down the other but maybe he's ready to approach it from the standpoint of an adult in control of the choices as opposed to a child being directed by mom and dad. I appreciate every perspective given here and don't want anyone to think their words were misplaced. In my mind, any information is good information and it's always in my power to sift through and use what fits. Or not. I think the internet can be a great place for advice but it's only a first step, nothing more - no expectations for instant cures. Chickadee I don't know the program you're referring to but there are no guarantees with this one so doesn't seem to be the same. Again, way too long! Thank you all for your comments and support. When I know more, you'll know more.

I saw your post few days ago, and couldn't get logged in. I finally got it to work today. My heart goes out to you , I am struggling with severe anxiety as well and know how hard it is. The fears and the agorophobia are crippling. I can relate to everything you are going through, you are NOT aone. PLEASE go to the Power Surge menopause forums, there are forums specific to anxiety and panic issues. It has helped me so much, and the members are on there often, always somebody available to help. And just reading through others posts is very comforting and informative. I am sorry it took me so long to get to you, please hang in there. Peace to you

I've been having a lot of symptoms of peri-menopause since July. I've been doing research and my dh is a physician, so I kind of run stuff by him a lot. Anyway my symptoms started with that weird "out of sorts feeling" like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Then I started having anxiety attacks in the most unlikely places, like the grocery store. I talked to my obgyn about it and they said "we could prescribe an anti-depressant" but I knew I wasn't depressed so I said no. (Hate the side effects). I said what about anti-anxiety medication just in case this happens at work or if I feel really out of control. She said "well, anxiety is not clinically associated with peri-menopause so you will have to ask your internist." But the weird thing is that on every menopause forum (like this one) women talk about anxiety. So at least I didn't feel crazy. I only found one clinical study that associated anxiety with hot flashes. To make a long story short, I went to my internist and asked for Xanax for anxiety. It was hard to do anyway and she wasn't eager to prescribe it so I felt like a jerk. I wanted to say "look lady, I'm not a drug addict." I just wish there was more help for us in this phase of our lives and I'm sorry for all the women on this forum who have to go through it and feel humiliated to boot. So anyway, that was about a month ago and I have taken the Xanax 3 times, at night when feeling anxious to help me sleep. It's been a great blessing. I know it's not a natural remedy, but I tried everything else and it hasn't helped much. I just think the best approach is to tell our docs that we are having anxiety attacks and not blame it on peri-menopause because they don't believe it's related.