Wodka, I lost my husband in May - he died in his sleep. He wasnâÂÂt sick, but he wasnâÂÂt too healthy, either. It was a total shock and I still donâÂÂt quite believe it. I also have a big support system of people taking me to dinner and making sure that I'm busy. I haven't been working out as much as I used to, but all summer I was like a crazy woman in the garden doing all the heavy digging and lifting that my husband used to do for me (I've been re-arranging). I'm just a few years younger than you, and I thank God that my body is strong enough to do that work - there are many people our age that have physical problems. I've lost close to 10 pounds, mostly from my middle and I'll share the way I've been feeding myself - maybe it can help you. I buy chicken breasts or pork chops or small steaks when they're on special and I freeze them separately in zipper bags so it's easy to pull out just one piece and defrost it in a pot of hot water in the sink. I usually grill that meat (or fish or veggie burger) and also have a salad or sauteed spinach. I now rarely make rice or potatoes (something my husband insisted on having), so I'm eating just protein and vegetables, and there's fewer pots to clean up, too. When I don't pack my lunch I go to a local soup/salad bar, except for those very stressful days when I can't resist a ruben and French fries, but I try to keep that to a minimum. I'll get Chinese or other take out for dinner maybe once a week. And I still drink wine! But with winter coming and the long dark nights to get through, I'm looking for an affordable gym to go to after work to have a place to go and to keep moving. And I'm going to look into massage - what flyleft said makes sense. I'm sure toxins can build up from grief. Since my husband didn't take care of his health, I'm determined that I will. I also turned down the anti-depressants my doctor offered. I told her I cry every day, many times, but not all day. But like others have said, give yourself a break - this is a very big thing, especially after 40 years together. You will find your way.

Weight gain during menopause is one of womens greatest fears. Women fear menopause makes it harder for them to keep weight off. The fact is, it's hard to tell exactly what the cause is for the weight gain. Women need fewer calories because generally, women become less active as they get older. But be careful when you cut back calories because you can actually slow your metabolic rate, which means you burn less fat and actually sabotage your weight-loss efforts. You'll also notice you store the extra weight in different areas. Hips, lower abs, and bottom store more due to gravity. Do you attribute weight gain to water retention? If it's fluid retention, you will probably notice that your ankles are swollen and your hands are puffy. It can also be related to excessive salt intake or a heart, kidney, or liver condition. If you have heat or cold sensitivity, suffer chronic fatigue, or experience difficulty concentrating, these are symptoms your thyroid could be out of balance. You can also work to control your blood sugar which will help you control your weight gain. In weight loss and weight control, your first goal should be to keep insulin levels from getting too high since insulin clearly promotes fat storage. hope this helps, Bob Here is a link that might be useful: menopause weight gain

I would do several things... First, I would offer solids (cereal/veggie/fruit) at least twice a day, three times if she'll take it. Then when the meal is done, sit down with the baby and 'top her off' with breastmilk. If you do the nutritional math, there is more protein/fat in breastmilk than there are in fruits/veggies. Then wait about an hour and then offer the breast again. Secondly, I'm glad that she's moving since she really does need to have a pediatrician that is working with her and not trying to be HER parent. Dealing with inlaws are tricky things at best..and considering that your daughter needs to create an adult relationship with her child's doctor, dealing with "Grandpa" doesn't seem to be working. He must not have heard that the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that one breastfeeds for "AT LEAST the first year" and that the World Health Organization advises that it's done for at least two years... I also agree about getting a younger pediatrician. Not that the older ones can't be brilliant clinicians, they can...But they received bupkis with regards to how breastfeeding works. Would support her to get a BF-friendly ped AND have an LC consult. She doesn't have to wait to see the LC. I would see one now. She can contact her local LLL for a referral... And I would also say that if the child is crawling/active, that alone can burn more calories. I would keep offerring the breast frequently throughout the day. Sometimes babies can be so involved with what they're doing, that they don't stop to eat until they realize that they're starving. This might not be as big of an issue to a normally gaining baby...But with a baby with weight gain issues, I would say that she could nurse the kid AT LEAST every two hours during the day and see if this improves her baby's gain. AND during this time, go in for weekly weight checks to see if there is an improvement. Don't have to have a full exam with these extra visits, can just have a nurse weigh the baby. But if that would increase her pressure from her FIL, perhaps she could look at renting a baby scale for home use and she can watch the gain herself? She should also discuss HOW she's BF'g with the LC. Is she allowing the baby to drop off the nipple herself or is she taking her off? The issue would be whether or not the baby is getting enough of the fattier hindmilk...And she also needs to make sure that SHE is eating right and drinking enough fluids. It's just as important to take care of herself now in this way as it was when the baby was a newborn... As to babyfoods themselves, has she graduated the baby to the next stage of foods? She could perhaps consider some of the pureed meat foods that are out. Look at one of those tiny jars of baby turkey and one of those puppies has 11 grams of protein in a single jar. Sometimes kids turn up their noses to them plain, but you can mix it with either fruits or veggies and most will take it that way (can also hide a blob on the back end of a spoon, with the sweet stuff in front). And is she mixing the cereal with breastmilk or formula and not water? And is the baby teething? With both of my kids, they decreased or stopped some of the solids when they had a lot of teething going on..Would only want to nurse. I would get them to eat by putting a tiny dot of Oragel on the trouble spot (not a lot or their whole mouths go numb and the food has a tendency to urp out of their mouths), wait a few minutes and then offer solids. If you do this and it still doesn't work, try nursing nursing nursing..And then offer it again later. Even Tylenol if it's really rough...(Think about how much you want to eat with dental pain...) Regardless, she needs to work with some people who are willing to work with her on this issue and doesn't need the ill-informed patronizing from her FIL. Seems like serendipity that she's moving. And again, tell her to start to look for solutions now and not wait until after she's found another ped. She can even talk to an LC over the phone (if she doesn't have time for a visit) and get advice tomorrow if she moves on this. They don't just do home visits, they do phone consults too.

I will be having a full (everything goes) hysterectomy soon. I've been told horror stories about gaining lots of weight (~25 pounds in the first year) and not being able to take it off. I've also heard a little (very little) from some women who actually lost weight in the year post-hyst. I am 120 pounds and 5'2". I REALLY can't imagine gaining that much weight - and am very concerned about it. Of course, I know that I need the operation, but am interested in your experiences. Oh - I'm about 10 years post-menopause. Did you gain? How much? Were you able to take it off? Any tips? Thanks!