It doesn't get much better.
It's 1:19 am and I am missing my mother terribly. She died when I was 15 and I am 19 now. I can honestly say that nothing has gotten much better. I think about her all the time, mostly at night. That's when I go through forums of people that have also had a loss. It comforts me in the strangest ways. I still remember before she went to bed that night. I got made at her because she was smoking a cigarette. She was trying to quit and I just got tired of it. I didn't like seeing her kill herself like that. So we got in a fight and before she went to sleep she asked me if I still loved her...and I said nothing. She just went back to her room and she never woke up. I know that she knew I loved her. I just wish I would have said it. I'd do anything to hug her one more time. I'd do anything just to ask her more questions. I'll never go to bed mad at anyone ever again..and I suggest you don't either.