Thanks for the congrats all :) And PV, I really am not going to peek in that jug again. It can't get transplanted yet because it's too early, and I'm not bringing it in my house...it's going to have to tough it out on its own. If I looked at them again, I might not be able to stick to that plan of not bringing them in (which would screw up everything because I have no room in here anyway!) So not only am I not checking that sprouted container, I'm not checking any other containers either. I feel like it's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". If anything else has sprouted, I don't want to know. There will be other seeds in that container to take their place if those wither (faith). And, ignorance is bliss :-) Linda

I can't imagine keeping track of 200 varieties...I have enough troubles with fewer than 100. The obsessive part of me was doubly upset because I had a couple of plants that were just about to bloom that were unlabeled...no matter how careful I am I end up messing up with labeling of a couple...I get sidetracked so easily! Anyway, I had to be gone for 2 weeks to help my parents, and got back about midnight the night of the first freeze, so didn't get to check the ones that had bloomed in my absence. If anyone wants Rock Star, I usually have an abundance...it usually produces so many viable tubers for me that I give plants away in the spring. In fact, it looks like most of the varieties that I have dug so far have produced more tubers than I can use. The key will be, without them hardening in the ground for a while before digging, will they make it through the winter...some don't seem like they will keep their firmness well.

Hey guys... just reading that poem makes me cry again. I still cry every day. It's really hard when you're by yourself at night. I miss Danny. I made a shrine to him in my room. It's been a few months now and though the pain isn't... as consuming, it's still with me all the time. The time we had together, his youthful eyes and laughter, they haunt me, you know. It's still not right that we are here "enjoying" life and it is over for him, so young, so full of potential. I keep wondering why it has to be this way. And why he couldn't have been pulled out of the water, why those boys who were with him don't care about us, because they never call. I keep wishing I was old enough to start a family, that my ex boyfriend was a good man so I could give into his pressure to go home. But my path is set.... it's so strange but in the aftermath I see clear evidence that we (mom and I) are doing as God intends, that he has plans for us and taking my brothers away are part of the plan. For my mother at least, no clearer evidence could have been presented that God is here and He does care. My mom was devastated to be here, after her head cleared. She quit her well paying corporate job to slave away for my vengeful, tyrannical father. Things were not looking good - on top of the grief she had to suffer his abuse to pay the bills. She was depressed and felt she made a huge mistake in the wake of the grief. I felt bad b/c I insisted that God wanted us here, to help my Dad (before he betrayed us) to be where Dan was, to be in this small town away from the city, away from my ex bf. I prayed and I really thought we were doing the right thing. Even at the worst I encouraged her that somehow, God would come through - I could feel it. And He did. Out of a pool of 462 applicants in a town of 50,000, *my mother* was chosen to be the business manager/instructor for the only scuba diving school in the entire area. Her new job is about as awesome as they come. She not only gets paid to learn a new career, scuba instruction, but will be taking 10 paid vacations a year to take clients to places like Australia, the South Pacific, Hawaii and Florida. That we moved here after Dan drowned, and now she has a new career in *underwater life support* is not lost on me. Praise God - if that isn't direct evidence of his Love than I don't know what is. My beautiful mother has suffered so - this bit of security, adventure and hope for quality of life was exactly what she needed. The owner is so nice he won't ever make her dive in the huge brown river that took my brother, though it is the local attraction for his business. We also got to meet the diver who pulled my brother out of the water (bless him, if his body hadn't been recovered or recovered quickly it would have been even more tormenting) and my mom will get to be a volunteer search and rescue diver herself. I don't know what I'm doing. I was supposed to go back to school to finish 8 credits but I blew it off - until January. For some reason I lost my motivation to go to law school. I want to do something else. I don't know what. I will keep praying and maybe God will show me the path. I'd endure just about anything if I could have him back. Death is so unforgiving. A few minutes of being underwater, unconscious, and you can't come back. I've been re-reading "The Lovely Bones" and I really like the way that novel describes Heaven. The little murdered girl wonders why her dearly beloved grandparents aren't in her heaven. It's because she can't let go of watching people on Earth - her family, the investigation, her school. I like to think that Dan is here sometimes, I can almost feel him. But when he is not, he must be enjoying hot rods, powdered mountains and babes in bikinis. There must be babes in his heaven. I am waiting to find the perfect landscape tattoo artist, and then I will get a memorial tattoo in Dan's honor. It will be a silhouette of a snowboarder popping off an impossible cliff, with a burning, brilliant variegated sunset in the background. Dan Krueger, 1986 - 2004, it will say. He was such a good brother. I'm so grateful God has shown himself to me in the blessings and messages, so I know Dan continues on and I will see him again. I just wish he could "enjoy" life. Maybe heaven has all the good parts of life and none of the bad. But you can still feel things. I mourn the loss of his feeling - he loved to feel. We all do. That Dan's opportunity was taken away makes me feel like I should make the most out of life - but I don't know what to do. I'm just saving all the money I'm earning, and being here for mom. Thanks for caring, Lu, and I hope you all are holding up okay. Oh man, now I'm looking at the pictures to post the link. Pictures hurt so bad. These basic ones I've seen, I can hardly bear to look at them, and trying to look at the hundreds of family photos we have in the closet is like trying to breathe underwater. I just can't do it yet. CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY Man, it hurts.

It looks to have come from the Univ. of Phoenix (mainly a distance-learning outfit, I think). It appears that there's no such website ... let alone such a person at that address. I've received scores of such messages - many purportedly from at least a couple of dozen officials of various categories in the Bank of Africa in Oagadougou, Burkina Faso ... offering usually from 10 million on up. Added up, they'd almost surely have come to a billion in total, by now. Several seem to use an address based at "live.com". I'm sorry that most seem to come to my core addresses, not the screeners (e.g. "junkmailforall") that I use for questionable activities. Some internet providers want to hear, including "Full headers" - many don't. A number of financial institutions, etc., aren't too interested in the particualrs when someone has rigged an official-looking site when asking for particulars of one's bank account, etc. Some are - they want the message forwarded, including "Full headers". I've got that kind of stuff purportedly from PayPal, as well. Hope you make it through it with your integrity intact. Otherwise ... best wishes for a wonderful New Year, Deb. ole joyful