Oh I can relate. DH had a grandmother and an old maid aunt...guess who got all their stuff. His folks had an apartment in NYC and the old house here. Guess who got all their stuff. Then my Mom had to clean out their old house after Dad passed...50+ years of accumulation and both were pack rats. Guess who got a lot of their stuff. She moved into a condo here and had a house in FL besides. When she passed, guess who got all her stuff from those 2 places. Let alone our own stuff and moving out of the old house and into the new house. Is it any wonder we left the upstairs in the new house just attic space? Any wonder that it looks like a goodwill store? And the tension one suffers between, this is still good, how can I throw it out...but do I really need 14 wooden spoons? And then you get this weird support for keeping it...like when our can opener busted and we just went to the attic to get another one...and there's still another up there... And trying to get rid of stuff that was in DH's family triggers this strong reaction in him, like a hoarder, that I'm not tossing a dishtowel, but a piece of his family history and how dare I! So I know that an awful lot of this stuff I'll have to deal with once he's gone. We too are orphans with no children, nieces or nephews and ends of the line. So I know a lot of this stuff will be meaningless to many. We both have cousins though who have children so will probably pass some stuff down to them. The rest will just have to go. And yes, looking at photos of people who looked so young and carefree, and knowing ex post how their lives ended, often in such sad and painful ways. It is truly heart wrenching. A labor required of those of us who are the end of the line. Not easy, I know. But there it is. On the other side though, we've been working at cleaning out over 60 years of accumulation and mess in the barn...while it is dirty nasty work, there is something wonderful about looking at the space that you just cleaned up, all the room you've made, finding treasures you didn't know you had amongst the detritus of accumulation, and that sense of accomplishment at having made a tremendous difference. So there's that too.

It was a stupid mistake (being pregnant) I made in thinking I was still in love with him. He was my first love in college and was a jerk to me back then. It got to the point I was devasted and committed suicide because of him at one time. Eventually, I woke up and broke up with the guy. His mother and him then begged me to get back to him. I did eventually (my 2nd mistake-the first was falling for him). I then moved back to my state after college. He left his parents and came to live with me in my state when I becamse successful in business. I owned 2 houses and lived in a decent house with my parents then. He was very nice to me and my parents then and promised to treasure our love. He seemed like a hard-working person so I thought he had changed....until one day I accidently got pregnant with his baby and to my disappointment, sensed his irresponsible side of being human. He didn't seem so happy knowing he had created a baby. We decided to get married in 4 months of the pregnancy. That is when he called his parents and asked them to attend our wedding. Since their son left them for me, his parents were furious. They bad-mouthed about my parents with the intention of tearing us apart. The result was the man insulted me even before the wedding. I did not believe in abortion and I didn't want my son to live without a father so I went through the wedding in bitterness (my 3rd mistake). His parents came to the wedding with their empty hands (very rude in our culture) and insulted my family and I right at the ceremony. The first time in my life I cried for my parents. I was their bad seed because I'd put shame on them. Because of what his parents did, my husband first realized he couldn't even trust his parents...but then who could divorce their parents? He agained listened to his parents and our marriage just got worse and worse. My husband would call me names, fights broke out between us, he repeatedly threatened divorce, eventually spent the nights out and did not help me with the baby nor household chores. My in-laws live out-of-state, treat my baby like a toy, but wants no part in caring for him. On the contrary, my husband had to make mortgage and utility payments for them every month, no matter what financial hardship we were in. My 72-year-old mother resented my husband (he listened to his parents and wanted to kick my parents out of my own house which I planned to purchase for them - my parents ended up leaving) but had no choice but to love her daughter (me) and babysit my son since he was 2 months. My career went downhill so I had no money for daycare. With repeated threatens of divorce, I one day fulfilled his wish: I filed the divorce. Marge-the work that I do is very flexible so it is not an issue. I make the call for whether I want to work or not. Right now I always make time for my son in the afternoon...stopping by grandma's place to bathe him, feed him, and tug him in for a nap. Both my parents are very supportive of me in terms of caring for my son. It broke my heart to see my mom in the emergency room and still thinking about what my son has to eat with every meal she had. I just got my baby's medical record today showing how involved I have been with my baby and how little his medical record mentioned of his father. I talked to a few attorneys already and they said I should have no trouble getting full physical custody for my case. It's been very stressful for me everytimes I think of my son not being well cared for if he was to spend weekends with his dad. I mean I've known my husband looking up porns on my laptop right next to my son when he was 2 months old when I had to go do grocery shopping....and many other things... How can my mind be at peace when thinking of how my husband had treated me and his own child? We had another fight again tonight because he said the "F" word to me. I emailed him and told him to leave within 1 week because I cannot tolerate it anymore and I do feel unsafe being around him. ...just want to break down and cry but I know I need to be strong to care for my child...

Interesting thoughts -- we could all improve on paperwork storage in our homes. Two things I think I'm doing well that differ from the above mentioned Script, and someone else might find some ideas in my methods: Taxes. Yes, like Script, I am scrupulous about maintaining records for my taxes. About a dozen years ago I went to the office supply and bought two big boxes of BRIGHT GREEN folders (green like money). I labeled them Taxes 2000 ... Taxes 2001 ... Taxes 2002 ... Taxes 2003 ... and so on. Given my family's typical lifespan, I made enough green folders to take me to age 110 -- probably more than I'll need, but I'm ready! They're all stored in my file cabinet, taking up very little space. Now when I receive anything tax-related -- a charitable receipt, an end-of-the-year bank statement, whatever -- I have a place to file it. In April, I have a place to file a copy of my taxes, and I can go back and see previous tax years. For the rest of my life, this system is in place. Death folder. Ours is a notebook. Two identical notebooks, actually, since we have two children. Our girls are young adults now, but they've never dealt with an estate -- even if they don't open it 'til they're old, it'll be useful to them. It contains a lot of stuff: - A personal letter to the two of them - A list of our wishes about funeral and items we'd like donated to various family members or charities - A list of things they must do immediately; it starts with going to our house and taking possession of the dog, but it also includes small details like canceling our voting registration and destroying any medicines in the house. At every turn this list includes addresses and phone numbers, including the lawyer we suggest for probate, the funeral home our family's always used, and family members who should be contacted. - A copy our will; they know what's in it -- everything split between the two of them - A list of our financial assets -- bank accounts, investments, insurance, deeds/maps of real estate ... when our youngest became a legal adult, we made the two girls co-beneficiaries of every account; note that this was done before either was married, so our two kids -- not future son-in-laws -- will own these items. - A list of the bills we pay each month -- electricity, phone, even the guy who cuts our grass. - Official copies of our birth certificates, our marriage certificates, and the girls' birth certificates -- they might not be needed, but the girls won't have to scramble to find them - A flashdrive with all of the above in digital format plus photographs that might be useful in putting together the funeral Our rule: We keep two years of tax returns in the notebooks ... the reason being that someday an accountant will file our final estate tax return, and he or she will want our last two years of returns -- so every April we pull out the notebook, discard one old return and insert the newest ... so our rule is that every April we look over the notebook and update anything that's changed. For example, last year we changed bank accounts, and someday we hope to add items concerning grandchildren to the book. Our girls know that the notebooks are stored in the safe, and they know where the key to the safe is hidden, and they know it's labeled with a misleading name so that a thief wouldn't look at it twice. Last thought on this notebook: Though this project took us the better part of a year --- we kept remembering one more thing, one more thing that really should be included -- we didn't find it difficult emotionally. I suspect that if we were older and/or one of us were in poor health, it might've been different.

"Reheat Pizza Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works." I have several Pampered Chef pizza stones (well, they call them "baking stones"). Put the leftover pizza on one of the stones and put it in the oven. Heats it thoroughly (better than in a frying pan/skillet), and the stone keeps the crust from getting soggy. "INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS [snip] ...dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free ... [snip] well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!" We don't use dryer sheets. We use liquid fabric softener that goes into the rinse water in the washing machine. Keeping your electric bill lower would be an issue with an electric dryer, but ours runs on natural gas. What are "leftover Snickers bars"? ;-)