Wow, that is so pretty, Kirk! I like how you find things to re-purpose, very cool idea. Yep, our nights are dippin' down a little here in Oklahoma,(I hear the song every time I type that word, weird!)But not to 14 yet. I notice you still have some green grass left, though. Your yard is always so pretty. Jeanne, what a beautiful fountain and birdbath. That is the biggest birdbath I have ever seen!!!! I absolutely love it. What a great tribute to both of your parents. blessings-sherri

I left mine last year. I had just redone my entire front yard, had spread the last bag of mulch and the next day, my DH came to me and said "what would you think about moving to Saint Louis?" @@ I was heartbroken. Lived in the area my entire life. Family, friends, and now my roses too? :( I gave a few of my containers away to friends with love notes written in sharpie. I ran out of time to take a cutting from my favorite climber, and I still regret that. Moving from a happy gardening place to what felt like the 7th level of hell in August didn't help any. Having my first long winter that didn't include gardening, didn't help any. Losing four zones of planting possibilities, didn't help any...Buying a lot of books and learning about my new zone and getting ideas as to what I wanted to do, did help some. What did I get that was positive? A lot more space to garden in which was a first. The excitement of seeing things come up in the spring that belonged to the previous owner without having a clue at first as to what they are and mostly being happily surprised. Learning about an entirely new style of gardening...And yes, also learning from my mistakes in texture and color from my first attempts. Really getting the point of imagining a mature plant, not being taken in by sales of small plants. Not overdoing particular colors... Went back on vacation this spring and saw my old front yard. They hadn't killed anything, but damn that stuff needed pruning! LOL I told DH "that place would look really nice if they GAVE IT A HAIRCUT!" One good thing about an apathetic gardener is that they're less likely to do something criminal like rip out that 13 year old wisteria over the back pergola. Seeing it look similiar but scruffy made me feel better about it all. If I had it to do over again, I would have physically worked faster to get involved in my new gardening space immediately, beyond just the boxes. Having lots of stuff come up in the spring that was MINE, would have helped me more. I did do some bulbs, and had I not done that, I would have still felt like it wasn't 'my place' at all...I would have brought some plants with me that were MINE too. A handful of my old friends would have helped with the homesickness. Btw, regarding selling and taking plants, et al: The prospective buyer wanted ALL of my stuff. But when it came to containers, I made sure that immediately the point was made through my agent that the container roses were NOT staying. Included in this were plants that my children had planted which were going to their grandmother. I did not change the 'landscaping'. This was a good compromise and it worked fine. What might help with this is when showing the house, put some small signs on the items that are 'going' so that there is no misunderstanding, right from the get go. And if there are any plants that would be physically removed from the landscaping that this part would be in writing so that nothing comes back on you. I do not think that one needs to take an entire garden or even large parts of it unless the new owner doesn't care at all about it. I think that when we live in a house and create a beautiful space, that stuff belongs to the space. It's like the house numbers that we purchased on our honeymoon. They belonged to the house, kwim? And it's a charming thing to tell a new owner "I bought those on the Island of Capri"...and when she sells, she can pass on the trivia...a legacy of this home for others in the future. Leaving a garden behind does bring with it homesickness. But there is also the excitement of doing something completely new. I do have some 'homey touches'. In my old place, I had massive MW geranium plantings. I foudn two of them here and planted them in containers on my back porch. On our vacation, I brought home some CA poppies in my tote bag (now THAT was an effort with all of the kid junk I had with me to not kill them). They're thriving in the heat here! I also ordered and planted some bareroots, my children's favorites. Add that to new things and it's starting to feel like home in my flower beds. So jump in with both feet and get something going when you first move, that's my best advice. Make your mark on the gardens, even if it's not about implementing a full plan. You can always change your mind later. That's one of the great things about gardens. Good luck with your move and your patience in reading this. Obviously you struck a nerve.

Yep, I've found that inspiration is the best cleaning/ organizing tool around. And that's what this forum supplies for me... inspiration. I often see cleaning products and gadgets and think, Now, if I had one of them the task would get done. And then if i buy it, I get it home and put it in the cupboard and wow, it doesn't get the task done at all, not all by itself. Nope. I've found that what gets the task done is simply me getting up and shifting myself about. A cloth, a bit of water and a dollop, of sudsy stuff cleans most of the areas in my house, gadgets/products or no. It's just the inspiration to get said cloth and sudsy stuff into my lazy little old hand that is the missing factor. I found that by reading posts on here, I was inspired to make my spaces just how I want them to be, clean, organized and de-cluttered. If someone asks how to best sort their sock drawer, I find myself wanting to go look in mine. And if someone says they've just sparkled their bathroom mirrors, I think, "Oh, maybe mine need a bit of a rub up". I guess it just changes our perspective or attitude to know someone else out in the world is also wiping down toothpaste specks and hosing out their wheelie bin? Keep the inspiration coming. It works better for me than all the bleach and detergent in the world. Cheers from lily

Really you know the answer already. It's right there in what you've written. I think we women, perhaps more than men, don't want to make changes, we don't want to admit that we've made a mistake, that things are bad, that somebody's not our friend. But it's right there in your post: this guy is not your friend. He is bad news, & his kids, unsurprisingly, are bad news. These things don't get better, they get worse. I wish you the best.