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First Year anniversary over

20 years ago

Hello again, it's been a hard week but we got through it. I found the day before my son's anniversary worst then the actual day. All day i kept thinking what he was doing at that time . the day of his anniversary my daughter can home from away just for the day, my other daughter lives near by so we spent the day together. Funny i baked all morning i guess it made me feel busy and of course my son loved to eat my baking. In the afternoon we went to the graveyard in the pouring rain but we didn't mind, then we had a mass at night. My sister's came to visit at night, from the time we got the news of my son's death the kept me company every night and called often it was so much help to get me through the year. so that was our day. Next year i will plan to do something special in Darrly's memory. Just thought I would fill you all in as you have been so helpful to me. And just one thing is it so necessary for us to tell everyone how our child has died? Bye for now Darlene

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Comments (3)

lulie___wayne
20 years ago
Darlene, thanks for checking in. It's always good to hear "success" stories regarding how all of us who are in this "club" that no one wants to be in survived various issues.
You are so fortunate to many loving remaining family members who seem to try in earnest to help you get through this.
If you don't care to discuss how Darryl left this world, just simple tell people that you aren't ready to talk about it.
It's interesting how some people will pry for every detail and others son't seem to care or feel that they shouldn't intrude. Many of us like to talk about it, though. It all depends on the person. You just do what you feel for as long as you feel. As we've said before, each set of grief is different even if it is for the same person. We have to deal with it however we feel is best for us.
Now you see that the actual anniversary date is not that bad. It's usually just the fear of it approaching and not knowing what to expect. To me, my grief was pretty much the same... anniversary or not. Regardless of what day it is, they are still gone and we grieve every single day.
Thanks for sharing, Darlene!
Lu
casey04
20 years ago
I had so many well intentioned friends tell me the first year would be the hardest. The "year of firsts"., but I found that day number 366 was the same as all the others. I hoped for something to be better after the first year.., I was only let down. I had put too much faith in what I'd been told, since this was something I haden't been throught before. We figure it out as we go...
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yborgal
20 years ago
Darlene,
Real friends won't press for details. They'll wait to hear how much or how little you wish to say. Sometimes sitting silently together is all you really need to do and they'll understand. I found that doing things just a little bit differently makes a new tradition and makes it easier to get through certain days. I mention this because the holidays are right around the corner and when we tried to do things the way we used to it was glaringly obvious that a part of the mix was missing. We had to change things just enough to have them different but not so different that we didn't acknowledge the missing family member. Life can be painful sometimes but we manage to go on somehow.

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