The loss of my best friend


On June 7th I lost my best friend Laurie my wife of 7 years and together for 13 years. She was only 53 and truly was and still is my best friend. I died on that day as well. If anyone has some ideas as how to cope it would be greatly appreciated. I do not want live in this world without her. People say time will heal but it has not gotten any easier. In fact I think it just gets worse. She was my angel and she made me a better person. She will never be replaced. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't know if there are any people out there that had the relationship that we had. I thought of us as the 1 % because we were so good together. I have enrolled in counselling but if anyone can shed some insight into this feeling of pain I would love to hear from you. I am willing to do anything, if not I don't know if I can handle this for much longer. I feel like I am fooling myself by trying everyday. Please you just may be that person with words that will click. thank you.

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Hi Crasher

I am sorry for you loss.

You sound very sad.

Grief is just terrible.

But, I think light does begin to shine through.

If you push yourself, get yourself out the door and go for a walk to a nice place, you will feel a tinsy bit better.

Look for "honey".

I said that over and over to myself, in this past year as I plodded through the grief of loosing my sister - the same age as your wife.

By 'Honey" I mean, things like - a hug from a friend, a beautiful blue sky, a child's giggle - it is all there, you just have to tune in and look for it.

I have comforted myself by using my sister's death as a time for me to gain strength and try new things. I have pushed, and pushed myself for months and I found great comfort in remembering what Fiona would say to me...Her words have made me start and art class, volunteer to help in a nursery. To take a French class - even get a job !

So I guess my message to you is - never give up !

Decide - "yes, I am sad, yes it hurts, yes I feel like crap - but I am strong, I can learn from this - I can be a much better person because I have been through this experience ".

You can do it.

Hope this helps you a little bit.

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It's been 2 years since I lost my husband and its just as painful now. All I can advise is read books about grief, go to counseling or grief groups, join a grief message board, keep busy.
I don't think anything helps, nothing has for me anyway. They say it takes at least 3 years, I will find out next year if its true. I hate this new life I have. I was never alone before. The one thing that has helped is getting a dog for company. I don't know how I would have made it without him.

It will get easier in time, but it does take time. Just take baby steps, there is no rush. Try something new, maybe take a class. Hope things get better for you soon.

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