I wonder if it would be possible to return to Jen_C's original question, you guys? Seems to me that's what these forums are for.....as for anything else, well...you guys can start your OWN forum and duke it out amongst yourselves over THERE. ___________________________________________ As to the original question(s), seems to me you're asking the following: 1) Is it normal for a baby to have their days and nights mixed up, as far as sleeping? The short answer is yes, lol. If you think back to when your baby was still inside you...try to remember what time of day or night the baby was most active. For my DS, he was most active inside me from about 11 pm to about 4 am.....so when he was born, he was most active during those hours. Seems like it took me forever to get him onto a somewhat "normal" schedule. 2) Is it ok to let your newborn baby cry herself to sleep? For me, personally....when DS was newborn, my DH and I rocked him to sleep, or cuddled with him on our bed until he did. We didn't let him cry himself to sleep when he was newborn. 3) How long do you allow the baby to cry before you pick him/her up for a cuddle? Again, for me personally.....in the beginning, when DS was newborn, I picked him up immediately. As time has passed, however, I'm letting the amount of time he cries to be a little longer. He's 6 months old now, and I let him cry maybe 10 mins before I go back in to reassure him. I don't necessarily pick him up, though. Standing over or near the crib reassures DS just fine, most of the time. Sometimes, though....even after giving him 10 mins to get to sleep on his own, and then reassuring him from above or near the crib...he still needs a cuddle. So, I cuddle! Just for a few mins, then it's back in the bed. Sometimes this gets repeated about 3-4 times before he actually goes to sleep. He's falling asleep a lot more on his own now. For me, gradually increasing the time I allow him to cry has worked, and it's teaching him to be a little more self-reliant, while he still knows that we're there. 4) How long in between feedings? My DS woke up about every 2 hours anyway, so I NEVER had to worry about him going too long without food. Of course, at night...this meant I didn't get much sleep, either! :) 5) and finally, WHEN CAN YOU CATCH UP ON SLEEP? LOLOL...this is the question for the ages. I don't think I'll EVER catch up. Now, mind you, there are babies that sleep much longer (envious sigh). A friend of mine had twin boys, who slept 7-8 hours STRAIGHT, right from birth!! She had to wake them to feed, but holy cow, they were NEVER in any danger of starving, lol. They're 8 months old now and they weigh upwards of 27 lbs each. (when they were born, one weighed just under 8 lbs, and one was just over 8 lbs. At 38 weeks, no less! Can you imagine if she'd gone the full 40 weeks??)

Springermom, I am stunned that your uncle was so mean. You might try writing a letter to this Uncle. Not to ever send and since he has passed perhaps simply put it aside for a little while to burn later. Writing down how he hurt you, may help you deal with this pain. Crying makes us vulnerable and you were in the most vulnerable spot imaginable. Your uncle was a weak and insecure man. His anger at your show of emotion was wrong. I was not there to say if he did this with malice. It may be that he was unable to deal with his own grief and attacking you was his way of coping. There are many ways he could have handled his own angst at this funeral. He could have walked away or remained silent. What he did by yelling at you was that he stole your ability to heal yourself, express yourself and let the pain out. Crying plays an essential role in our biology as well as our social and cultural experiences. We can't always stop the tears from flowing, but crying gives our bodies and those around us a moment to pause. It is a time to either be alone, be hugged or let those emotions out. A famous British psychiatrist Henry Maudsley said "The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep." For those of us who have trouble letting the tears out we must remind ourselves that it is okay to be vulnerable and allow ourselves to have moments of emotional expression. Thinking of you and wishing that if the tears decide to flow you will know that you are allowed to cry. ~boxerpups

I think that I understand why you are so sad. Here is my advice, take it or leave it. It is meant with kindness, and I hope it doesn't sound too harsh. I think that your response to the dish breaking is a release of the pent up stress of everything you are experiencing right now, and the feelings of things happening that are both good and hard at the same time. The dish is a physical reminder of your time when you and the children were together, doing something as a unit. And of course it is a thing of beauty in its own right. We all know that time marches on and things change, and that can be both joyful, difficult, wistful, and gut-wrenching, and make us both proud and lonely. I think that the dish breaking was just a physical release of all of those emotions for you. And your darling son is trying to help you focus on the true physical reality of what actually happened, and detach it from the emotional meaning that you may be feeling from what happened. And that in itself is yet again a reminder of the finish line reached as a successful parent, and a solemn reinforcement of the fact that your role as primary teacher and problem solver for your children is over. So again both happy and sad. (Yes, I am going through the empty nest transition myself, and have been reflecting a lot on this as my friends and I all are experiencing this together in different ways. And we moved last year and I had to do the possession evaluation as well.) Of course this could be just how I would feel and think, and may or may not have anything to do with you and your experiences and feeling. But I wanted to share in case it helps you. And the reason is, aside from wanting to help you understand, is that if this had happened to me in this context, I think having something made from the pieces would make me feel this anguish over and over and over again every time I saw the broken pieces. And that even if I found the "same" old piece, I would always know it was a substitute. So I guess what I am saying is that if this had happened to me, not only would I be sad like you are sad, but that I think that I would pout a bit, and then try to move on, instead of recreating the past. Now you might find great joy in a key fob or pendant or tray or frame with the pieces, but I know that that would make me beat myself up over and over. For me, it would be just better to be sad, and then to move on and create a new good memory. Again, I am not trying to say what you should do. I just wanted to bring this up in case it would apply to your situation. And now, back to home decorating. hugs and sighs, Julie This post was edited by juliekcmo on Sat, Jun 28, 14 at 8:40

Thanks, Mikomum. ;) Actually we often agree, and when we disagree it's usually opposite ideas for the same reason, which is wildly entertaining and gives lots of perspective to the issues. :) The dishwasher placement does make sense for your reasons, though I totally agree about the panel. What about the trash though? The number one thing that moves the prep cook in the tiny kitchens I grew up in isn't the water, it's the garbage! I agree that having a kid crossing behind with clean dishes while you're working at the sink would be bad, but if you'll be doing the cutting, peeling, etc., at the island, it still might work to switch it with the trash. Just saying... Because if the DW works first from the corner (though only get-at-able from the sink side and front), then the garbage will be accessible from outside of the work zone, and the sink can slide over a bit. This is all about your own priorities, however, and how your family works. Do try to eliminate any age specific issues (e.g., it doesn't take nearly as long for a 15 year old to empty the DW as a 10 year old), but you have to do what you know will work for you best. Re the microwave, by the fridge is where I like it. Are you sure the corner is the best place for breakfast prep? I've always put the toaster by the microwave, and find the corner a place where things go to hide (my corner is similar to yours in many ways). Rhome warned me that this would happen, and I opened it up as much as I could, but still... Actually, I do think the blender might be good in that corner, but in the plan as it looks currently on the page, I'd think the toaster would be migrating to in front of the windows... I'd try to keep breakfast to next to the fridge, though you might not have room for everything there in the amount of space you have to work with.