About three weeks ago my mother passed away but I have yet to feel a thing about about it. No sadness, no sorrow, no pity, no guilt, no remorse, no sentiment whatsoever.
I am a single child. My parents divorced when I was two and my father, who I never saw after the divorce, died a few years later. My mother chose to rear me herself since she never remarried or once entered into a hint of a relationship with another man after the divorce. We experienced our share of conflict through the years, especially through my adolescence, but I never loathed her. Even though I blamed her for my difficulties as a child, I stopped resenting her in my adult years as I learned to forgive. Her death was expected as she was suffering from heart trouble. Oddly, I never felt the need to open up and resolve any outstanding issues during her final, most onerous days leading to death.
Recently, I went to my girlfriend's priest with this (I am not religious but she is). He laconically informed me that it might just be my way of mourning, and eventually the inevitable, humanistic feelings of sorrow, guilt and probably remorse should manifest themselves and will come down on my like an ton of bricks. He further suggested I'd need to seek a higher power for solace and answers when that time comes.
I'm faced with a self-reflective moral dilemma that, if left unchecked, might lead to an identity crisis. Am I a cruel person for acting indifferent to a loss others would consider traumatic? Is there any normal person out there who has suffered the same fate (not a close death in of itself but the subsequent confusion)? Should I seek some kind of behavior therapy?
I have a good job, am not depressed, fairly enjoy life as it comes, and am physically healthy and able. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly helpful and appreciated. Thanks!