Part of Grieving I did not expect..
My mom passed away 3 weeks ago. SHe'd had a stroke 1 1/2 years ago, and we didn't expect her to live the week, so we were blessed with much more time. Knowing the end would come I tried to "prepare" myself. I know now that you really can't. This is the first really close death I've experienced.
Anyway I really didn't expect the loss of concentration I am experiencing. It's like anything I had planned in the weeks before her death I've forgotten. I'm an administrative assistant, and this is not good, it is good that I have notes on my computer.
I also didn't expect the day of just feeling down I've experienced. No real "reason", just a feeling of depression. We were so busy the week of the funeral, then the next week we had a graduation party (graduation ceremony in the middle of funeral arrangements, talk about your ups and downs), anyway I don't think I had time to let myself think or really feel. I'm sure that makes sense to some of you.
I also didn't expect to feel some of the anger (and I am trying to let it go) that I feel towards my sister-in-laws for being so greedy and taking some of Mom's jewerly before my sister and I had a chance to go through it. The thing is she and I had really different taste in Jewerly. She liked BIG rings, I don't. Quite honestly I don't think she had anything I really wanted. Maybe a couple I would "like' for memory purposes, but none that I'd seen and said..I want that. Anyway Sister In Law and some granddaughters picked through before I got to look. I picked out a couple of things I like (of what was left mind you), but one SIL got the diamond tennis bracelet (I think my sister, the oldest child should have gotten first choice). Anyway on SIL (not the one who got the tennis bracelet) wore the jewerly to the burial. There were rings on every finger, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings (notice the plural on everything) all of which were Mom's. They were not there when I got to pick. That did upset me. Again not becasue I "WANTED" them, but because she had SOO much and wore it ALL? I don't know. I'm really trying to let this one go, but as you can see I'm not being very successful.