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why?

15 years ago

My son got into drugs. My son went rehab. My son turned his life around. He was following in my footsteps with his career.

He has made me proud. He goes camping and gets struck by lightning and dies. He died on May 24th 2008. We haven't even got him buried yet. He was only 20 years old. He was my only son. My heart is torn.

Comments (7)

jampack
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot answer your question. But your post indicates you were proud of him and is not that a blessing? Of what he accomplished, how wonderful ! My prayers are with you and your family during this terrible time. Take care of yourself too.
Peace, Jan
ms-smith
15 years ago
It's heartbreaking to hear of such a tragedy. I send you my condolences and my heart goes out to you because it feels so unnatural to lose a child! But to many people's surprise there is a satisfying answer to that question "why?" and it's not 'because God needed another angel' as many believe. It's plain and simple... it is 'because time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all' (Ecclesiastes 9:11). Both good people and bad suffer similarly from natural disasters, accidents, fires, and also what has happened to your son. If God had taken his life, He would not have offered the hope for both of you at Revelation 21:4 and Isaiah 26:19 where he promises you will never have to grieve again, but you will rejoice when you have that chance to see each other alive again, in perfect health, in a peaceful environment, and completely happy.
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You guys are too much :-). And I'm shocked at how much a 2 year old's attitude resembles that of a belligerent teen! The refusing to answer when spoken to, the ignoring of direct instructions, the odd eating habits... No wait lists for any of the hotels but I did manage to find a room via Travelocity. The funny thing is that when I specified the town as "Mansfield" the hotel came up as available but changed to unavailable when I tried to book rooms. A call to the hotel itself confirmed that, no available rooms. But when I changed the town to "ashland" (about 20 miles away) the exact same hotel came up as available & allowed me to book rooms. So I did. Printed up my confirmation so I have proof. Now I'm even toying with the idea of flying out & renting a car. What with the cost of gas in my area it wouldn't be all that much more money! But I'm liking the thought of camping more & more & maybe later in the season we can get away for a few days to just camp. bring the little guy & the dog & play wild slumber party in the tent. Both the little guy & the dog would love it. Thankfully we have a big tent! Melanie, I'm beating myself up because I know better. I consciously left this until the last minute. It's a bad, bad habit of mine. I insist that I work better under pressure :-). Yes, Bill, how far west are you heading? And since you're in Maine have you ever done the trip east to Nova Scotia? Now that's a spectacular holiday! Nina
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tenderchichi
15 years ago
I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you. I hope you are surrounded by Loving people. I pray that Angels will surround you and help you through this. I wish you strength. Praying for compassion for your wounded heart and soul. May Peace and Love surround you during this broken time in your Life.
sheebah
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand your pain, tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary of my only daughters passing, she was only 23.
No parent should ever have to bury their child, it's so very very cruel, it's the most agony I have ever been in.
The only advise I can give you is to surround yourself with loved ones, and grief and cry as much as you need, I also saw a griefcouncelor, it helped a little and is not for everyone, but may be worth a try if you feel you need to see someone.
I wish you lots of strenght to get through this, again i'm very very sorry.
Martha
texanjana
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your pain. My 19 year old son is a drug and alcohol addict. He is in recovery right now. I came to this forum because what I am grieving is the loss of all of the hopes and dreams I had for his life that have now changed because of his addiction. You probably also experienced that with your son. I have found alot of strength through the Al-Anon program. I have several friends in the program who have lost children. It is a safe place to express your true feelings and to heal. Most communities have a chapter, and it might be helpful to you.
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.

It does seem to me like it's twice as bad when life & relationships have been a struggle, & the stress has just now eased & the person has just started going in a good direction.

&, as has been said, no one expects to bury their child;
we expect to bury our parents, & our children to bury us.

Thank goodness you did get to see that he had turned his life around.

sending you thoughts for peace & for remembrance of the good things.

sylvia
Zyperiris
15 years ago
There is no answer as to why. An accident..pure and simple. My stepsister went through such a hard time for many years. Her husband got a mental disease and she was afraid to live with him. Because she was a christian she would not divorce him. She was lonely for many years. Then her husband passed away. She met this guy and they fell head over heels in love. They went to Reno and got married. They were married 5 months and Bonnie had a brain aneurysm..she died at 53. I was so darn angry..she had just found happiness..many told me but what a blessing it was that she had that happiness instead of the other. She died happy. Your son did not die of drugs..he died clean and sober..I hope with time you can find some peace with it

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