I am happily married with one son. I had a rough year last year. In the span of the year (starting in March) I had gotten layed off, my mother was diagnosed as terminal (she died this past January), a close work friend died suddenly in the summer and I had to put one of my dogs down. During this time, my best friend of 29 years, pulled away from me, basically abandoning me. He never checked in with me, by phone, e-mail or in person. He only asked about my mother if I were to bring it up. His father had died 4 years ago, and we were very supportive of my friend, checking on him, having him over for dinner, doing everything we could to support him, keep him busy, letting him know we cared. To say I was hurt by his behaviour last year is an understatement. I thought he would be by my side, supporting me, guiding me since he had just experienced the loss of a parent. At the beginning of last year, my friend had starting hanging out with some new work friends, moving on in his life without his father. I am sure I was a drag to be around with all the sadness and sorrow around me. In the fall, my mother entered hospice. He blew off my birthday dinner party in the fall, never bothering to follow up with me, by phone or e-mail. He then contacted me 10 days later only to ask what to bring to a party I was having. I then sent him an e-mail telling him not to come, telling him he hurt my feelings, how I needed him and he was not there for me, I needed to surround myself with supportive people now that my mother was in hospice and to please not to contact me as I was able to see what kind of friend he was. He never responded. He knew my mother obviously having known me for 29 years but he never sent my mother a card, gave her a call or visited her once since March last year when she was diagnosed terminal. After my mother died, he did send me a sympathy card, but with no hand written note enclosed.

I just do not think I can ever forgive him. I was always there for him through our years together, and really feel like he abandoned me. I really see no way to re-build this friendship  abandoning me at this crucial time in my life was just cruel, and I can never forgive him for not reaching out to my mother. She would often ask about him Âshe knew he should have visited her. I was wondering, am I off base here? Would any of you forgive him? How would you even start? We have a close mutual friend so I know on occasion through the coming years I will probably run into him.

Two weeks before my mother died, I had to put my other older dog down too. I have a new job now, and two wonderful new dogs. No one will ever replace my mom but I am slowly moving on and getting stronger each week  mom would have wanted me to. IÂm rebuilding my life.

Thanks for listening.