I was okay until...

14 years ago

I had gotten through the last two days all right. Then today, I found a receipt dated January 22,2010.

I know from the store name that late DH had gone to his doctor a few towns over to get treatment for his persistent cough.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer on Feb 4 and passed away two weeks ago today.

I feel like he just died.

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Comments (4)

socks
14 years ago
You must still be numb from the loss of your dear husband, so fast. It just doesn't seem right, does it?

You'll have many reminders of him and the things he did over the years and months ahead. You'll have your ups and downs as well. I wish I could say some words which would offer you great comfort. I'm so sorry for this terrible loss. Take care of yourself.

Susan
mav63_2007
14 years ago
I am so sorry for the loss of you DH and the pain you are going through. I lost my DH 3 1/2 years ago, he was ill with cancer for 18 months, it was awful. How long were you married? Do you have children? For us it was 37 years and 2 daughters.
Your pain will ease over time but your heartbreak is forever. As Susan said, you will have you ups and downs and he will always be by your side, you will know. I hope you have family and friends to give you comfort.
One thing, and this is importatnt, from me and Susan TAKE CARE OF YOUSELF your DH wants you to.
Hugs,
Mavis
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If I'm right in the middle of my stressful situation, that phrase just ticks me off. (I want to talk about ME for a minute! LOL!) But once I'm just on the other side off the crisis, it gets me past it faster. It reminds me it's time to look past my own nose. (That was the phrase my mother always used. "Would you look past your own nose for a minute!?") I find more peace from the wisdom "This, too, shall pass." Even if I lost a foot and it will never grow back, the grief and helplessness will pass and better days will come. I find more comfort from the people who tell me I will get through it, one day at a time. I don't like to talk to my mother when I'm having a pity party. She does not sympathize with me. She never just says "I understand." She tells me something to the effect of "Be grateful you have so many dishes to wash, it means you had food to eat, which is more than some people." It might not be about dirty dishes, but you see my point. She tries to tell me my problems are blessings in disguise. "Jeez, the baby was up four nights in a row, I haven't slept, I'm so tired I'm running into walls!" She tells me "Oh, but aren't you glad you were able to have him." I KNOW all that, I do. But a person just needs to vent and be heard sometimes. It clears out all the negativity and lets my own inner voice start talking sense. But that's true for everyone. I do know people who revel in the pity party. The more you sympathize, the longer it goes on. The less you sypmathize, the bigger the pity party gets, to get your attention. For those people it's not a temporary coping mechanism, it's drama for the sake of drama.
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evaf555
Original Author
14 years ago
25 years, no children. Family is about 45 minutes away.

One casual acquaintance has really come through for me in a way, though. She made a point to keep emailing me every few days after the news. Nothing long, sometimes just saying she was thinking of us and praying for us, Or me. She just emailed me yesterday, in fact. When DH died, I called her. She asked if I wanted her to call people. I said, oh yes, call our mutual friends. What I meant was our ten or so mutual facebook friends who all went to college together.

She emailed everyone in her address book who had ever done a theater production with us. Since I work on costumes, therefor not there for many rehearsals, I suspect a good number of them scratched their heads wondering, "Eva Who?"
mav63_2007
14 years ago
Eva,
I am glad that you had your friend to make calls for you and maybe a few of them didn't remember you but those who did I'm sure said a little prayer. It is very hard to be without the love of your life but we have to be strong. It gets a little easier with time.
God Bless.
Mavis

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socks

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socks

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