It's been a couple of weeks since your posting, so I hope you've been able to follow-up on some of the good advice you've already received from this list. I will add to the other comments that your SIL should ask about a speech pathologist. I think Medicare/Medicaid should provide this. They can help with his eating/chewing difficulties. Also, there are medications (Megace, Peri-actin --not sure about the spelling of those) that act as appetite stimulants. Loss of appetite is something that often happens to the elderly. Probably the other issues -- cancer, radiation, loss of dentures are complicating the situation. He might be depressed too, which causes a loss of appetite, or it could be the dementia. In any event, if they can give him some medication to stimulate the appetite, and have him work with a speech pathologist to assist with chewing difficulties, likely he will feel better. All of the symptoms you listed CAN stem from vascular dementia. The body is a finely tuned machine, and when you have a "break down" in one area (such as the inability to chew or eat), it can often act like a domino effect in leading to other problems. My experience in taking care of my 84-year old father has taught me not to wait for the doctors or caregivers to make suggestions for my father. Instead, if I see a problem, I research it and bring it to the doctor's attention REPEATEDLY until he/she addresses it. My father had SEVERE anemia and the doctors were really dragging their feet. Finally one day my Dad said to me "I don't think they realize how bad I feel." I called the doctor and they finally took my Dad seriously and admitted him to the hospital, and he needed a transfusion of FOUR units of blood. Then, he wasn't eating (likely a result of the anemia), and the doctors were fully aware he wasn't eating, but they didn't seem to offer any advice. Then I learned about appetite stimulants and asked the doctor about it and they said "okay" let's try that. Now he is eating very well and he is feeling much better. So, tell your SIL to ASK, REQUEST, BEG, do whatever to get your BIL comfortable and healthy. Mary

Mike, I don't disagree with that! But even with Programming you need to be in the right place at the right time! My son has two Degrees in Programming and is still unemployed, he's not the only one I know either. I have a step son that is in the same boat. He is most likely the smartest person I've ever known but can't find a job! Part of his problem is that he can't function in the real world (Absolutely No Personality, No Common Sense, etc...). The reason I'd say to go with something like building a computer is because it a Hands on project and these are young kids! The two I spoke of above have both built their own computers before. But they both chose to go the programming direction! Programming can always come later! Myself, I took a couple of programming classes and it wasn't my cup of coffee (I hate tea)!

Bunny, I think you have a fine idea already and would not vote to change it, but I was reading through and thinking of 2 consumables I recently discovered. In case you would like to take something small in hand. One may not be new to many of you who live up north -- boiled cider. Literally, boiled cider. You take a gallon of apple cider (the freshest and least processed you can find), bring it to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer in a 5 qt stock pot until the desired consistency. At 3 cups, it will be a light syrup, similar to maple. At 2 cups, it become more like honey. It stores in the fridge for several months. You can drizzle it on pancakes or waffles, oatmeal or other cereal, pork or chicken, use it to make a salad dressing, add to baked goods (esp apple pie), mix in cocktails or dissolve in hot water for an instant hot cider. I even found a recipe cooked with cinnamon and spices so you could have instant spiced cider. We made a generic version and one with honeycrisp cider and everyone is enjoying them. Takes a few hours, but your house will smell great, you can put it in a cute bottle (even a repurposed one), tie a ribbon on it and have something in hand that can be enjoyed for a while to come. The other is toasted oatmeal. After eating instant oatmeal in college, I couldn't eat the regular kind -- it seemed tasteless. I assumed it was sugar that was lacking, but even if adding some kind of sweetener, it seemed watery or thin in flavor. I read an article about toasting oats before cooking to bring out their nutty flavor and that seemed promising. We have tried it both with plain old fashioned oats and Trader Joe's multigrain hot cereal (oats, wheat and a couple other grains). We both really like the results -- cooked with water or with 1/2 water and 1/2 unsweetened almond milk. You can toast the oats in the pan on stovetop before you add the cooking liquid or you can toast a larger batch in the oven like you do nuts for baking and such. Stir often on the stovetop and when they start to remind you of popcorn, they are ready to add liquid or remove from heat and cool for later use. We've also been making marmalades with fresh citrus, so that would be an option for us. Anyway, just thought I would mention the ideas. I think your donation is a good choice and she will appreciate the kindness.

Lizzie, the pencils are too cute to pass up! I got this idea from my mom when I was little. My friend who lived next door got hit by a car and broke her pelvis and was bedridden for a long time. Mom put together a box of gifts for her and they were a hit. Oly, I think DS told me months ago that she'd like a wallet. Except she doesn't carry a purse yet. I'll ask him. Jojo, I love the shoes but those are something she needs to pick out. I had no idea they made stickers for devices! She has a new iPad, and for school I think they furnish everything. So iPad stickers are on the list. Thanks! Sue, I never had daughters and I'm having a blast feeding her feminine side. :) She has the friendship bracelet kit, and I'm putting fuzzy socks and gel pens on the list. Thanks!