Very sorry for your loss. I agree that this experience will help you work through your sorrows in a positive way. My immediate thought was to create a labyrinth garden. Wandering the circular paths inspires peace of mind and tranquility and are often used in hospitals and the like for a similar purpose to yours. I'm picturing one that is partially enclosed for privacy, adorned with cool, calming colors, some statues and a quiet place to sit. I don't know if you will like the idea or not, but I did a Google search to find you an example. I suggest making observations and some mental/physical notes of the site (regarding light, moisture, wind, etc.) and some photos to take in to a local nursery for some suggestions on appropriate plant material. Also take your time: look through some magazines, books and on the internet. Find pictures of styles, "looks", plants, etc that you like and take a few of your favorites with you to the nursery as well. This will be a lovely thing to do in memory of your loved one. Again, do take your time as the process has the potential of contributing to your healing as much as the finished product. I would love to see some pictures as you go along as well! Take care. Janelle

The pictures sound like a great idea. But I say take it a step further and create a photo album/scrap book. Do you have access to her old pics? You could do something with labels like. Your Wedding Day (insert wedding photo) You in hospital when (Child's Name) Was born (insert photo) Your Son's&Daughter (insert labeled & current photo of each child) Your Grandchildren (insert labeled & current photo of each GK) You could add things like her Driver's License and when she learned to drive, maybe pic of first car or home.Her HS and College Diplomas, if she was part of any volunteer group or social clubs, pics of her friends and pets. Maybe if she saved playbills or ticket stubs add those too. Her favorite movie, pic of the holidays, birthdays, vacations. Basically as much of her life as you could fit in a book that she could look through. If the photos are family keep sakes you could scan them and keep the originals intact. Hope this helps.

Wirosarian, that was a wonderful suggestion about HMF. Lilyfinch I am glad you are zone aware, as I wasn't when I first started growing roses. For each rose that looks intriguing to you (Google-Image Search once you get the names from HMF--allows for greater range of photos), be sure to look up its disease resistance, the amount of rebloom, and flower form as well. Then re-post and ask the ones that you are specifically interested in at this forum. It really, really helps to get the specific details from people who actually grow the rose in person. For me a memory rose absolutely has to have a beautiful form to it and have strong fragrance. Some people can get the beautiful form because they don't mind spraying fungicide. I am one of those who do mind! because I have a beloved dog who plays frisbee in the yard and requires a lot of love and attention through playtime outside. So again, it helps too to ask what is your key value for the rose. What qualities are the most! important to you? I have Queen Elizabeth but hate it because of its lack of fragrance. The flowers are big, very pretty but are not the spiraling beautiful form of the exhibition type of hybrid teas.

Okay, so it's been a while since i actually wrote to everyone, and i guess you can say that im doing alright. Since 2006 my life has actually been alright. I'm starting to accept everything as the day passes and i know my family is also doing well. I do not write to my grandmother as much, but i do think about her every day. So, my grandfather had talked to the city about everything that happened that day on Sept 24th 2006. They decided that they needed to do some investigating on the EMS and the Emergancy Room. Yesterday i felt really depressed and lonely even though i have people with me. My boyfriend was with me when i started crying and it was like i couldn't control myself like i usually can, but i think it was because i haven't cried in so long. It felt really good that i can let it all out, and having someone to hold me felt amazing. Talking to my boyfriend about everything really doesn't help as much, because he didn't know the person she was, only my family know exactly how she was. I am very greatful that i got to spend the time that i did with her, and also at the same time i hate myself for missing the times that i needed to spend with her. But like my boyfriend had told me, i cannot blame myself for anything, because i didn't know what was going to happen. I still have the moments where back in the hopital it just plays over and over in my head...and that is something that is never going to go away unless i have some kind of memory loss. You know, there are times i wish things would happen like that to me..only because i feel that it wouldn't hurt me as much. I miss her so freaking much that i wish i could just walk up to heaven and bring her back down again. I don't know, maybe im just being selfish. But, also at the same time, i really don't care. I want her here with me. I just miss the way everything USED to be, how everyone would always be laughing and smiling. Now it's just different. My family is depressed. My family can't talk to anyone anymore about their problems and what to do in certain situations, things have certainly changed. But! We are doing better, it's going to be 2 years since i haven't seen or hear from her, i dont know..it's like im lost for words and i get so thoughtless. Anyway, thanks for reading :D Take care everyone. - Jennifer