>> found out 3 weeks ago that she is pregnant and due the first week in October

There is NO hurt in babies unless you let it in. Period.

This was bad timing for you. Not noticing your daughter was pregnant for her first eight months doesn't say much for how close you are. You say you have "shock" and "hurt" but it's all about kids now, not you or anyone else.

Some of us have had some catching up to do but have done just fine once a decision was made to move on and not be left behind. Time to decide why you're here on Earth.

Yikes. My first reaction to cold_weather's reply is that it's pretty harsh (although I love her/his user name!). Kase, I think I understand what you're saying.

Yes, as cold_weather said, it's a bit surprising that you didn't know about the pregnancy until her 9th month, but we don't know the circumstances. Is your hurt due to feeling that you and your husband (her father) raised her with what you thought were different values? Gee - so difficult now-a-days (I sound so OLD!!!). How long have you been in her life? It's not true that this pregnancy indicates anything other than a fine, upstanding young woman. (I know you didn't say that). Just trying to get the genesis of your hurt a bit more. Maybe you mean disappointed? It will certainly change and impact her life. Some good, some not as good, as she's so, so young.

But - hopefully she'll rise to the occasion and continue with her plans while raising this child. This child will be in your life, too, forever. I suspect that you will fall in love with it.

As to your age and becoming a grandmother so young ... sure, I get it. But you can't change it, and I applaud that you're trying to come to grips with it and will be there for the mother and child.

I don't know that you need to "act" any different than you did prior to this. The baby will be born, she will be raising it, you'll be enjoying it, I predict. Just delight in the new life, be there for the Mom but hold her to her responsibilities, and encourage her to continue to pursue her goals. That's for her sake AND the child's sake.

Good luck.

Suzieque

I do not know why you are "hurt"......for keeping it a secret, for getting pregnant, for a betrayal of the trust you had in her. Just love the baby and the mother if she will let you. You have a new member in the family, a sweet baby.

don't know that daughter lives with them;
maybe she has avoided visiting in order to keep from having to discuss her pregnancy.

don't know that OP's 'hurt' is because daughter is pregnant;
maybe it's because she didn't share the news earlier.

OP just asked for help, advice, wisdom for her journey in becoming a grandmother at age 34.

Kase48 - Please post an update on your situation. I'm assuming the baby was born. How are you doing with this now? Some of the advise you were given above was a bit harsh but overall was good advise. I get why you are upset. My mother was a grandmother at 36 - my sister was pregnant at 16. I was just a young girl at the time but I remember my mom crying a lot. She loved her granddaughter with all her heart but she was very worried about their future. As a family, we had to help her out a lot during those first few years but my niece grew to be a great young woman - she graduated from college, graduated high school number one in her class, and now has 4 boys of her own. It really does take a village especially when the parents are so young in the first place. I'm hoping that now you are doing fine and loving your little grandchild. Please update us.