You should not have mentioned her illness at all in your email to her. You say one pleasant thing and then give her a zinger. "We enjoyed having the baby" was fine, but then you say "sorry about the circumstances". Don't be ashamed(imply there is shame),pray she gets better, etc. Not nice things to say to a women who has PPD. Don't write any more emails to your son or dil. She isn't thinking clearly right now. You aren't helping the matter with the emails. Talk to your son either face to face or on the phone. Politely ask your son if your dil is receiving help for her PPD and let it go at that. Thank him for the SIDS info. I don't think she was rude to you at all. She is suffering from a very real illness. As the other poster said...it is Not about you. Don't try and make it so. NancyLouise

I have one of the same breed. She is 19 and moved back home after leaving her husband of 2 years about 5 months ago. She has my grandson that will be 2 in January 2011. Same here. I have been screamed at, cursed and threatened in my own home until I am sick of it. She started seeing someone immediately after leaving her husband who was much less than desirable. I was unable to drive for a while due to illness. Every night after putting the baby to bed she was out the door until the wee hours of the morning and on the weekends when the baby was with his daddy, she came home only to shower and leave again, which I saw as a blessing. Things are constantly going missing the most valuable being a stainless steel watch, a gift from the president of my company. My home is in constant uproar. Do not ask her the simplest of questions or it leads to a 30 minute screaming fest. Do not ask her to clean up after herself and the baby in any place other than the room they sleep in. My kitchen is a disaster. The cabinets where my dishes belong are empty and the same goes for my glasses and silverware. I have not slept in my own bed in over a week because I have chosen to work and then leave and stay with a friend. This morning she woke up cursing and screaming at the top of her lungs to one of her friends about what a b*&!h I am for asking why she had taken something out of the fridge and hadn't put it back. When she first came back home she was my daughter. I have no idea who she is now. I have managed to get her back with her husband and for the last week she has been going to be gone every time she throws a fit. She keeps my grandson in the bedroom most of the day. He can't be eating a healthy diet even though there is a full pantry here. She worked for me 2 days a week until I realized that all of the money she was making was going in the pocket of the boyfriend. She is paying nothing to live here. She would get paid on Friday and couldn't put gas in her car on Monday. I also found out that the "boyfriend" was drug addicted and had a 21 count felony record at the age of 27. With her personality change, I cannot help but believe that my clean and healthy daughter got involved herself. There are times that I just cry because my grandson is treated so harshly and there are times that I confront her because I just can't stand her mouth any longer. I was threatened with calling the police this morning to get me under control. My next step was a call to the captain of my local PD. I too have been drained. I feel it more everyday. The 19 year old girl who sleeps in my daughter's old room is now a stranger to me and I want her out of my home. I to worry constantly about the treatment of my grandson. I have come to the conclusion that hopefully with the husband being back in her life that he can control the situation better. I know that beautiful baby boy is the center of his world as he should be. My beau is very adamant that he will not tolerate her abusive attitude toward me and has offered to handle the situation of he is ever here when it blows up. I cherish the days of peace and tranquility in my home and long for their return as quickly as possible. They are making arrangements to move into an apartment locally with some friends of theirs. I know in my heart the the arrangement won't last because of my daughter's mouth and abusive attitude. I never thought I would feel this way about one of my children as much as I love the 4 of them, but she has successfully managed to put the words, "I want her out of my house", on my lips and in my heart. I will be changing the locks on my house and there will not be an open door a second time I can assure you of that. I went through more than enough struggle and stress to raise the 4 of them as a single parent. I have given 33 years of my life away to taking care of them and providing a 2 income household on one salary. She is the youngest of the 4. My son's have grown into wonderful men, husbands and fathers. I had only wished as much for my daughter. I really do not believe God will think harshly of me for standing my ground in this and taking the rest of my life back to have peace for myself. I pray all is well with you and yours. I to apologize for being so long winded.

I can understand why wry tried again..because I tried a few times to really understand my SD and her actions. All to no avail. So that's why I've come to this point of just cutting her off. I love my husband dearly..he means the world to me. And I would do anything, but I will not eat crow so he can feel like we're one big happy family..because with his daughter I am not. Happy, that is. I was treated so horrible by her that I know not how to trust her for any reason. To be honest...the things she said to me in texts when she got caught stealing here..let's just say if I for one second thought my wonderful husband had said those things - we'd be divorced today over it. They were not to be taken mildly nor will I ever do that. She purposely set out to try to cast some serious doubts in my head as to how she felt my husband did not care at all about me in the slightest - and had spent MANY days/hours telling her so. How he felt trapped with me and I had ruined him as a man...and he was only with me because he didn't want to be alone. That I was the worst mistake he had ever made and maybe one day I might just stop breathing...? How my grown daughter and I were 'morons' and that my husband found my daughter to be worthless and a pain in the butt. I treat him like total *&^# and his entire family hates my guts for ruining him. She hoped I was proud that I took such a good man and turned him into garbage waste. NOW..I ask you all..and please tell me seriously...I do respect every answer I get here. And I appreciate it beyond belief... In order for me to believe my husband - and I do - I have to also believe his daughter is demented and psychotic to try to create such damage in my marriage. How else am I to feel? What he is NOT getting is after all this from her, how do you just kiss and make up and not remember her hatred? She tried to come at me a couple months after this - with her fake BS - "Oh I just love you so much...!!" and the only thing I wanted to do was knock her teeth down her throat. THAT is what he sees...he sees his fake daughter act like she's a victim of circumstance..her mother is so awful..yada yada yada. She's old enough..married with a child..to know better. Bulls&&t. Seriously. And this isn't just due to her actions in stealing and being caught then verbally attacking me for it..over the past 2 years she has broke her neck talking of her father..how horrible he can be and trying to convince me is a continual cheater. She's tried to darken my name within his family but they have told me of the horror stories she tells them...and they are whoppers..let me just say. WHOPPERS. I'm just done with the fool. Again..if my husband wants this in his life, he can have it. I refuse to be crapped on then learn how to forgive her 50,000 ways like he does. No way in hell will I live like that. Thoughts?

Sherry and pk- No,food allergies are not to be taken lightly, which is why sis fibbed that one of her kids had a peanut allergy,to try to get brittle lady to back off. She figured that EVERYONE understands the severity of such ,even if they are to dense to take a subtle hint,or even to understand a blunt "no." I was really upset to hear brittle ladys response to her. "One piece won't kill him?!?!?!?" Really lady? How the hell do you know?!?! Goes to show the widespread nature of this problem. One of her kids does have some food sensitivities,not allergies, which are met with even more of the "oh, just a little won't hurt" garbage from know it all busybodies who have nothing better to do than bake disgusting creations and try to force feed them to kiddos when moms not looking, and then split before it's time to clean up the mess they caused. When this particular nephew of mine was 3 or 4, his paternal grandmother was on woman on a mission. At the time, the doc thought his skin and stomach problems might be caused by the red dye in some commercial food. So sis cut out everything with the dye in it. When her MIL found out, not only did she declare it dumb, she set out to prove it by picking out red mms and skittles and whatever other red candy she could find, and then slipping it to him when she would come visit.(she's very stubborn,one of those know it all hillbilly geniuses) I caught her one day,when I was at sis' house. We were just talking about how his skin and stomach would get better and then suddenly he would break out in a horrible,blistering rash and have diarrhea for days. I kept seeing her bending down right in his face, then I would see him chewing something. So I asked him "whatcha eating baby?" When he told me that his grandma had given him candy, I asked what color,he told me red. Only red. I asked how much, he just said "all day" It all came together then. Kid is fine. Grandma comes for the day. That night, all hell breaks loose. Then it clears up. Grandma comes back, here we go again. She would always be gone before the effects would show,so when she was confronted, she still proclaimed in all her homegrown yokel wisdom that she didn't notice anything wrong with him, and told sis that she thought she was making it up for the sole purpose of depriving her son of the many joys of red candy. For this and other,much more agregious acts she and her husband have committed against their family, BIL and sis have completly cut them out of their lives. They don't even know my niece, their youngest. And it just as well. Poor thing is lactose intolerant, and I could see that heifer feeding her 10 pounds of cheese just out of spite.