I love my grandchild more than anything in this world. He is my soul and inspiration. Since the birth of my grandchild, I have been the sole caregiver. Both parents have jobs that require long hours. I am disabled-physically. I have been watching my grandchild for 3 1/2 years. Sometimes, out of the 30 days in a month, my grandchild is with me 18 or more nights. I don't the pleasure of just spoiling a grandchild. I have to been the disciplinarian. I hated it when I raised my own child. Now, I have to scold my little one and reprimand them and give them timeouts. I get to witness the tantrums, screaming, yelling, and kicking. Whereas, the other grandmother didn't step in until the grandchild reached their 3rd birthday. She gets credit for spending time and buying items; whereas, I feel like a babysitter. Wednesday, my grandchild through a tantrum that words can not describe. I live in an apartment and things are easily heard. This child was screaming at the top of their lungs and I was worried that someone would call child services because of this intense tantrum. I never experience a tantrum this bad. I am suppose to have surgery on my spine and the doctor tells me that I can't lift anything that's over 25 pounds. My grandchild weighs 37 lbs. I literally can't leave my apt. for up to 5 days a week for fear that he will run from me and I can't chase him down. I am so frustrated and hating myself for how things turned out on Wednesday. I haven't slept because I am so distraught over the situation and I can't share any of this with anyone that is familiar with the families. So, that leaves me holding everything in.

I only "swatted" one of my 13 grandchildren and it was because he ran across the street in front of a car down town and scared me badly. I told him he was almost road pizza. They introduced me to that description, so I knew he would relate to it. All of my grandchildren were very well behaved at my home, only had to discipline them one time for running in the house and slamming doors. If I were to raise another child I would never lay a hand on the child, because I think we teach them to hit by hitting them.

gandbb, I don't think you should serve soup to the toddlers, not only because of spills but because it's hot--too much potential for disaster. (At home, a child in a high chair would probably have a bowl with a suction base.) Most children would probably prefer juice, such as apple juice or Juicy Juice, which comes in many different flavors (and COLORS!). You might just get an assortment of juice boxes, which come with their own straws. Since there are only a few families, I'd suggest calling the moms and asking what kind of juice their kids like (you might get different answers from each). Or just buy an assortment. If the kids are a bit older, 7-UP or ginger ale would be good. Also, think "finger foods" for the smaller kids; don't expect them to be able to cut the food with knives and forks. Kids are finicky, too, and some have food allergies; be especially careful not to serve peanuts. The best bet is to check with the parents. I think it's great that you are being so inclusive, so nobody will be left out. You must have a great neighborhood! Sue

to answer: Son and daughter relationship is the best one she has here. They have a nice thing together, he is very giving of his time, He is patient and kind with his discipline, and doesnt treat her like a baby. When her mom is not around she loves to be with him, they always have a science project in the works. When mom is here, she sort of tattles on any thing she can, to make him look bad. He knows its just jealousy, and doesnt give it much attention most of the time. He patiently tries to get her to see how it isnt a cool thing to do. So yes, it looks like there are issues with son, but I don't think that is the problem at all. I am going to sound crazy, but I think every thing she does is in an effort to control her mom. She needs more attention from her, son has tried to make mom accept it, I have stayed out of that. And to be honest, she is so damn difficult, it is tough to judge the mom too much. When nother does give her time, much of it is spent arguing and whining and throwing fits to get things or go places. If she learns she gets to go to a fair or shopping the next day, she spends every minute trying to get everyone to give her money or something new to wear, and getting to go to every other fun place she can come up with, when the day comes for the fair, theres no way the outing measures up to all she tried to manipulate, and every one has a crappy time. They have come home with her crying over a not getting her way every single time, I swear this. It's just an awful ritual. And, tho I see areas where mom could do things different, as a potential mother in law, I strongly feel it is not my place to point them out. That whole thing is so fragile between women. She is in trouble with school for not completing homework, and at home for lying about doing it much of the school year. I have never seen any sign of friends. When she moved in here, I offered to let her invite someone over, picking them up, what ever it took, and told the mom the same, eventually they both said all her friends were away for the summer. My gut doesn't think so. The times I have seen her with a neighbor I was hoping would become a friend, she is controlling and gets mad enough to scream at her. She took this twice and we have not been able to get her here again. There are issues that explain her behavior, I am not sure of all of them, but the ones I feel are of concern, are things kids have always had to deal with. She needs more time with mom. My son has told the mom this lots of times. She makes at attempt for a while and it slips thru the cracks, a common thing in parenting. As for me talling her this, I strongly feel that the relationship between Mother and wife or gf is so fragile that I am not the one to give her alot of correction on her parenting. And I strongly believe, what ever the excuses are as to why this girl behaves this way, when she is in the real world, no one is going to give a rip as to why she is selfish, or steals, or critical and jealous. And when they refuse to be her friend she may not ever understand why. So, and please correct me here if I am wrong, but I hope that the belief the behavior is unaccceptable, and it doesn't matter why, is a workable theory. She has been given many chances to stop it all before the consiquences became unpleasant, she knows that, she never let up, it was always full steam ahead. I think she absolutely cannot stand to be given a rule even if its about a computer that doesnt belong to her, and she disobeys for the power of seeing if she can make you back down. She wants to control everything. Thats my gut feeling lol And I don't have a clue how to change it in her. Hope this answered things guys, I thank you, It's so nice to hear others ideas. And please know, I gotta being doing something wrong here, so telling me so or pointing out my own bad attitude or what ever you may see, will be taken as an effort to be helpful, I just want to fix this, if I have to see my own faults to do it, hey, no surprise lol thanks laurily Her life is she was raised by a very young single mother, who put herself thru dental assisting school and has managed to give them both a pretty descent life. She had a long term thing a year before my son met her. The girl has never mentioned this man or if she cared about him. My belief is that his absence gave her more time alone with her mom so she was great with it. The mom suffers guilt over working, and it's not warranted, her hours are no worse than any one else's, but going to daycare after school for an hour was a constant complaint, and she would tell every one she could how awful it was that her mom made her go. I belie