Caligal, it really sounds like you want to stay with your current home. However, I'll just point out that right now the inventory of foreclosed homes gives people unprecedented chances to obtain homes they could not hope to have before and many will not be able to afford in future (let's hope no more such "wonderful" home markets). I don't mean go looking just for a bigger home (although in your case some additional size would be nice), but rather a lifestyle improvement: A decent home in a location that is particularly desirable to you. You know, location, location, location. Things like good schools, a pretty sociable neighborhood, close to family, en route between friends and mall (they'll be dropping in), favorite amenities close by (cows in pastures or high-density shopping, your choice), good proximity and transportion to work. Whatever floats your boat. If you're not already in a place you'd really like to raise your children and even be happy growing old, this current opportunity to make your home there should not be passed up for any but the most important reasons.

I agree with Popi's post. Our relationships with our adult daughters is quite a dance. We have so much loving advice to give them, and we want so much to help them all we can. Sometimes it's easy to forget that our daughters need to feel free and confident to find their own way and make their own mistakes. I'm assuming your daughter is a good mother. If so, then think about what you're saying in your post. We have advised her of keeping her daughter warm arriving in 17 degree weather with no jacket or hat .She started saying I'm just going to the car but all we wanted was to keep her daughter warm. Each time any thing that is said to her about taking care of her daughter she gets very defensive and angry which makes us feel incompetitent. Probably you are making her feel incompetent as well. You say, "each time anything that is said to her about taking care of her daughter", but are you considering that each time you are telling her she isn't taking care of her daughter the *correct* way, you're telling her she's incompetent to make that decision? I told her you make me feel like a irreresponsible teenager. Probably she feels the same way - that you make her feel like an irresponsible teenager. When your husband calls her husband lazy, he's basically calling your daughter incompetent to choose a husband. And of course she's going to tell her husband what her dad says. You mentioned in your post that you are overprotective. I think most mothers would sympathize with you about being overprotective. Our daughters are so precious, and we love them so much and want to protect them as we raise them in safety and love. I think a lot of us, if not most of us, could be called overprotective. I was raised by overprotective parents. If you were an overprotective mother, it's quite possible the dynamic you've set up all these years between you and your daughter has a lot of bearing on how she relates to you. Some of us daughters of overprotective parents have our adult boundaries set in stone. Mine are. My daughter and I had a rocky road together during her teenage years. One thing I did was to take her to lunch once a week at a place she liked. That was our "safe" place. There in that place I bit my tongue off. We talked about what she wanted to talk about. I tried not to give advice or criticism or ask questions about anything she didn't want to talk about. Sometimes when a relationship gets rocky, it helps to have some healing time when you just enjoy each others' company. The other advice I would give is to try not to mind so much about some of the things you mention. Not mowing the grass is not the end of the world. Mowing the grass is VERY important to me and it would annoy me and grate on me to have one of my children chronically not mow the grass. Trust me, I feel your pain. But it's not the end of the world. If he has a job and loves his wife and daughter, not bringing in firewood or mowing the grass might be small potatoes to her. And it's her opinion of him that counts. Not having a coat and hat on the baby - maybe that's small potatoes, too. My son got hot easily as a baby. Older people frequently said something to me about not keeping him warm enough, but the pediatrician specifically talked to me about not keeping him too warm. If I was just going back and forth to a close parked, warm car in 17 degree weather I probably wouldn't have put a coat and hat on my baby, either. Not letting a dog owner keep a baby - there are a lot of mothers like that. I hope you can work something out with your daughter. Sometimes it's hard to work out those mother/daughter relationships.

The title of your post says âÂÂhis children donâÂÂt come over so he wants mine out of the pictureâÂÂ, but I just donâÂÂt see anything in your post that supports this statement. I donâÂÂt think just because your DHâÂÂs children donâÂÂt want to see him that that is making your DH want your children âÂÂout of the picture.â I donâÂÂt see how the two issues are related. Your son is an adult. The only reason an adult child should still be living with their parents is due to financial hardship. And that situation should be temporary, not an indefinite amount of time. Just based on what information you gave, I donâÂÂt see how your husband is trying to divide you from your children. You feel your DH is trying to tear you apart from your children, but could it be your DHâÂÂs issue is that your grown son is still living in the home? And what does DH's ex affair have to do with anything? Have you sat down with DH and told him your concerns?

@lizzie_grow he has had a beard ever since I met him but once. He shaved it off right before I went to the hospital to have our eldest 45 yrs ago! I was not happy!! I asked him how he could possibly help me with the birth if I didn’t recognize him LOL!?? Fortunately he had a mask on 🥴 and it grows REALLY fast! @Sueb20 there is always store bought pizza and bagged salad!! DH has served that too. thank you @mtnrdredux_gw it’s been a great run so far ❤️❤️ He’s the glue and the calm one in this relationship.