I would leave well enough alone. He has not been a responsible father. Who knows what his parents are like. I think I would concentrate on my husband and child and count my blessings that someone as irresponsible as your ex boyfriend is out of my life. What do you hope to accomplish with these people in your life? Do you want to visit them out of state? Do you want them visiting you? Are you prepared to get involved in grandparents' rights fights?

For those of you who replied, Talk to the mother, Try an open some form of ommunication and trust and then on top of that you suggest the Grandparents stay in town while they see the child. Motel rooms, meals, it takes money for that. Getting back to talking to the mother, some of you mothers out there have NO idea of what you are saying. There are those of us grandparents who as try as hard as we can to talk to the mothers, they just don't listen. they want to hurt the grandparents and they use the children to do it. I'm one of those grandparents who loves her grandson with all my heart and he loves his grandparents equally, but his mother has an anger issue and its impossible to talk to her. And currently the boys father is actively seeking his rights as his father to see him. She hates the childs father with a passion and the child loves his father with equal passion. You women who talk the talk right now. I hope and pray that when your children grow up and they marry and have children and something should happen divorce, death of a parent that you don't find your own self is a situation like yourself. No matter how hard you try now, you can not forsee your future. Set aside your opinion now and take a look at the love these grandparents have for their grandchildren and just pray you get lucky in the future and YOU never have to go through what we go through right now.

Sorry you are going through this, I would suggest you get involved in something other than your grand kids. I know that sounds harsh, but the reality is that if you make peace, something else will come along and they will always use the kids as a weapon. And no you have no rights and I for one understand that. My MIL was absolutely crazy. She picked up a butcher knife and tried to cut her throat in front of the grand children. It's hard enough to make sure parents are good people without having to check on grand parents.

From the Indiana Code: IC 31-17-5-2 Best interest of the child; in chambers interview of the child Sec. 2. (a) The court may grant visitation rights if the court determines that visitation rights are in the best interests of the child. (b) In determining the best interests of the child under this section, the court may consider whether a grandparent has had or has attempted to have meaningful contact with the child. (c) The court may interview the child in chambers to assist the court in determining the child's perception of whether visitation by a grandparent is in the best interests of the child. (d) The court may permit counsel to be present at the interview. If counsel is present: (1) a record may be made of the interview; and (2) the interview may be made part of the record for purposes of appeal. As added by P.L.1-1997, SEC.9. Amended by P.L.15-2004, SEC.3. IC 31-17-5-3 Petition Sec. 3. A proceeding for grandparent's visitation must be commenced by the filing of a petition entitled, "In Re the visitation of _________". The petition must: (1) be filed by a grandparent entitled to receive visitation rights under this chapter; (2) be verified; and (3) set forth the following: (A) The names and relationship of: (i) the petitioning grandparent or grandparents; (ii) each child with whom visitation is sought; and (iii) the custodial parent or guardian of each child. (B) The present address of each person named in clause (A). (C) The date of birth of each child with whom visitation is sought. (D) The status under section 1 of this chapter upon which the grandparent seeks visitation. (E) The relief sought. I'm in the very early stages of this process in NJ. Indiana has a portion of the code that is very wise: the child may be interviewed and asked if he/she wants to see the grandparents! New Jersey doesn't have that. You're fortunate in that your grandchildren are older and able to speak for themselves. Mine are only 3 and 5 and as my attorney advised me there's usually no history from a child wherein he/she might have expressed a meaningful desire to see the grandparents. In NJ, the court can order visitation even though the family is intact, which my daughter's is - it's just extremely dysfunctional, with abuse, big-time anger problems, gender identity issues, denial and depression all going on. The parents deal with problems with other family members not by addressing them but by telling the family member that they cannot see the grandchildren, i.e., if you don't do such-and-such because I demand it, you won't be able to see the children. Or, because you said such-and-such about my spouse you cannot see the grands. Lots of emotional abuse, brainwashing and isolating going on. My attorney has advised that we will proceed to focus on the dysfunctionality in pressing our case to be allowed visitation, i.e., the parents cannot make healthy reasoned decisions.