Sorry for the length of this, but without knowing exactly what you are trying to accomplish, here's some wide-ranging thoughts on the process. Some of this is copied from a post I did shortly after we completed revision of my MIL's trust and creation of our own. Some of these issues pertain to a two-person trust; legalities are simpler if only one person is the original Trustor. First of all, there are many different kinds of trusts. Do you know exactly what you want to accomplish? A good estate attorney will ask a lot of questions, because it may turn out that a simple Revocable Trust will be fine, or it end up being something much more complicated and custom. Like remodeling, there are different ways to achieve a set of goals. It's up to a good attorney to point out pitfalls or potential problems ahead every legal decision has consequences, sometimes good and sometimes bad. YouÂre trying to predict the future, which is always uncertain. It's up to you (and your family) to choose the best alternative for handling various theoretical future scenarios. A good attorney will spend time with you. In our case, we redid my MIL's trust and created a Trust for my DH and I. Both were NOT standard documents. The price was the same, but our attorney was willing to spend considerable time (e.g., numerous meetings) to ensure all three of us were kept informed on the legal consequences of our decisions. In a one-person trust; e.g., with only a single Trustor, the trust will end at their death when the Trustee distributes all the assets per the terms of the trust. So it is much simpler, legally. Do be aware that standard Revocable Trust language (for a 2-person Trust) generally does not allow the surviving spouse to access principal on the deceased spouse's portion of the estate, which will become Irrevocable (the survivor's portion of course, remains Revocable). Restrictions are common on the Deceased principal, so it is up to you to decide: do you want the Survivor to have full use of the principal or only partial use? If partial, under what circumstances may the Survivor use the dividends and/or interest? The standard allowed is health, education and maintenance - this means gifts, travel or entertainment must come from the Survivor's own estate, not the Deceased. You can change this to allow full access, even though this is unusual - we did this. It is imperative in any Trust that the trustee and beneficiary list be kept up to date, including the successors/contingents. We needed have very intensive discussions with an estate attorney over my MIL's trust because she and her deceased husband had never updated their trust since making it 25 yrs prior. The successor trustees and contingent beneficiary list was woefully out of date and would not have served her best interests. Do not automatically assume the people you like best will be adequate trustees, especially in a sibling situation. Sometimes the best person to pick is someone who is not only honest but neutral. Be aware that unless you specifically request language that a trustee can be reimbursed for time at current professional rates, a trustee does NOT normally get paid for the considerable amount of time they will spend overseeing your wishes. Expenses are always paid by or reimbursed from the estate, however. When it's your spouse that's not a big deal, but in our case it is a relative by marriage - she would have to take off work on her own vacation time or unpaid to deal with our estate, which we felt was not fair. I have settled estates and it takes a LOT of time, at a period when you are grieving yourself. I would be happy never to do it again, believe me; it is a burden, never a joy. You may wish to be very specific about the handling of real estate property once both Trustors pass away. Probably more disputes have occurred over RE than anything else. Heirs can get into a sentimental mindset and act in illogical ways which often irreparably damage sibling relations. As an old saying goes, "Never say you know anyone until you have split an inheritance with them!" It is unfortunately all too often true. Make sure the package includes pour-over wills, power of attorney, durable healthcare power of attorney INCLUDING the HIPAA releases. It is up to you to copy your doctors with the healthcare POA. The attorney may or may not transfer your home title to the trust; ours included it in the set fee but YMMV depending on where you live. Be aware that anytime you go see a health specialist or get admitted to a hospital, you or your spouse should bring a copy of the appropriate health POA along. The HIPAA regulations are woefully vague and each doctor, specialist and hospital has their own way of interpreting how to obtain permission to discuss someone's medical records. In an medical emergency, this can be very important. This is also why whoever is your primary successor Trustee after the surviving spouse, should be kept up to date and know where all these documents can be found. And they need ACCESS to a copy of these documents in an emergency without having to go to a judge to obtain legal approval. They need to know the name and phone number of your lawyer as well as where you bank (which branch you have your safety deposit box in, for instance). All these documents should be checked over any time there is a life-changing event: divorce, sale of a home, death of a family member. There was an article today in the WSJ regarding the use of Power of Attorney. Sadly, most difficulties arise because family members dispute with one another over the estate assets. The POA can be misused and is often a source of conflict. Here are some of their tips: To further protect yourself, you can require that your agent provide family members, or a third party, such as a lawyer or accountant, with regular accounting statements. Another strategy is to name co-agents. While that can be a burden -- many transactions, for instance, would need two signatures -- it can also create a system of checks and balances. In some cases, lawyers appoint an additional safeguard: a "protector," who has the power to replace the agent if there is wrongdoing. Another key point: Make sure to carefully lay out exactly what powers you want your agent to have. For instance, you can limit the agent's power to make gifts of your property, so they can't just give money to themselves. Spell out under what conditions gifts can be made, how much and to whom. Frank Johns, an elder-law specialist at Booth Harrington & Johns of NC PLLC, in Charlotte and Greensboro, N.C., often asks his clients and their agents to sign "interpersonal agreements," documents that have no legal meaning but which might lay out in simple terms the importance of what's expected. "Signing that document can be a very powerful event," Mr. Johns says. "Usually, I know right away that the agent is going to live by the agreement." Power-of-attorney laws differ from state to state, so make sure your lawyer is familiar with what your state allows. Rules also can vary by financial institution. Lawyers say banks are increasingly scrutinizing power-of-attorney documents or are reluctant to honor them, because they fear being subject to suits alleging they unwittingly helped an account be drained by an improper agent. PLANNING AHEAD Here are some steps you can take to help safeguard your financial power-of attorney document: Â Require that your agent provide family members or a third party with regular accounting statements. Â Name co-agents, who can provide checks and balances, or an overseer who has the power to remove an agent. Â Make sure to carefully lay out exactly what powers you want your agent to have. You can also limit the agent's power to make gifts of your property. Â If using a "springing" power-of-attorney document, which goes into effect only when you are declared incapacitated, carefully specify how you are to be deemed incapacitated. You can require, for instance, that your agent get a second opinion. Â Be aware that rules regarding powers of attorney can vary by state and by financial institution. Â Create a so-called living trust. You can transfer your assets into the trust and designate a trustee to manage trust property if you become incapacitated. Â For more information, or to locate a lawyer who can help draft the documents, contact AARP (www.aarp.org), American Bar Association Commission on Law and Aging (www.abanet.org/aging), American College of Trust and Estate Counsel (www.actec.org) or the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (www.naela.org). Note: There are two main kinds of power-of-attorney documents. If you're using a "springing" power-of-attorney document, which goes into effect only when you are declared incapacitated, make sure to carefully specify how you are to be deemed incapacitated. You can ask, for instance, that your agent get a second opinion to make sure you really are unable to handle your own affairs. A non-springing power-of-attorney document, meanwhile, goes into effect immediately upon signing. That can be useful in a case where an agent wants to immediately take control to stop, say, abuse by a neighbor or caregiver, without waiting for a doctor's declaration of incapacity. "You can go in and start safeguarding the assets right away," says John Pankauski, a West Palm Beach, Fla., lawyer who specializes in lawsuits involving power-of-attorney abuses. He adds that you really need to trust your agent to do a non-springing power of attorney. Mr. Krooks suggests using a non-springing document, but not handing it over to your kids. "Tell them where it is," he says, and once you lose your capacity, they can use it. Another option is to use a so-called revocable living trust. These trusts go into effect while you're still alive, and you can name another person as trustee to manage property in the trust once you become incapacitated. Many people name institutions, such as banks or trust companies, as trustees, if they're worried a family member might loot their money. However, you should still name an agent as power of attorney to handle assets not in the trust. There is some recourse if your agent is accused of financial impropriety. Another loved one can petition a court to name a protective guardian or conservator. Typically, court-appointed guardians can be another family member or a third party, such as a lawyer, a bank, a social worker or a specially trained professional guardian. Note that court-appointed guardians are always paid on an hourly basis by the estate, at rates set by the state.

The place I saw that I would like to go back to was about a block from the beach was originally a school for young ladies to prepare them for life, according to the step on guide. He said a woman designed it. It taught single women how to get a job, live alone and take care of themselves, back when women didn't live alone. Later they opened it to the public. I asked about the rates and it was around $80. a night. Someone said at those rates it may be dormitories, instead of private rooms. It would be fun to stay a few days, rent a bike and explore that area.

DH and I do have our own revocable trusts, but I was speaking only of my mother's (now irrevocable) trust. Her trust named 'Sue and all of her children'. At the time we had hoped to have more than our one DS. The trust paid estate taxes when Mom died, but won't have to do so again until after DS dies. Here it's DS who is the pack rat. At his bachelor house he had 17 cars or parts of cars on property before DIL came along to reform him. Whew! The value of a Good Woman! One excellent benefit of my mother's trust has been that it operates as a separate entitiy from our personal property. As trustee I can draw upon it, but it's separate. It's nice to have that 'distance' although the trust has to file federal and state tax returns. Another tax benefit: I directed Mom's trust to sell some rental property and to buy a replacement rental using all the 'boot' (money gained from the sale). This utilized a federal tax regulation (#1031) that excludes capital gains until a rental is sold without using the exclusion. Someday DS or his estate will have to take the capital gains hit -- whenever the property changes title out of the trust.

This is a wild and tumultuous free market. Many factors come into the building/offering of CCRCs. You MUST do a lot of research because if you make a mistake with your $$$$, nobody is going to come to your rescue and get it back. There are no real guarantees in the eldercare facility. First: Is the facility non-profit or for-profit? Non-profits rate better for care and lower staff turnover. But be aware that at any time, a non-profit can be bought by a for-profit corporation - in fact, many already have and this trend is increasing. This is not, repeat, not, to say that for-profits are always bad. Many are quite nice. Where we found the biggest difference was not at the Asst Living level, but at the Memory Care/skilled nursing (e.g., 24/7 care commonly called "nursing home" level care). At that level, the cost between non- and for-profits was noticeable. We're talking a $2-3K/monthly difference. Also, when staff turnover is high, care suffers at all levels. We've visited places where the daytime staff that one saw in the public areas were all smiles and welcoming, but at night the staff was indifferent and brusque - not just to visitors, but to residents! Cost is not as important as the type of social environment. "Like to like" should be the motto of these facilities. We investigated eight nearby full-service facilities for my MIL, and every one of them had a different social atmosphere. We did very intensive research and multiple visits, to ensure the one we picked would be the best for her while being a place she would enjoy the most. As most know from my other posts, we were successful. But it took months to achieve it. You can check a facility's inspection record through the appropriate state regulators. Ours are on-line and although it took a lot of time, it MUST be done. When I finished I had confidence the facility we chose was ranked third in the state and had only extremely minor issues, which were promptly corrected. So what is the cost? There are two big issues: one is the upfront buy-in cost; the other is the cost of 24/7 care. Due to state licensing requirements, most senior facilities find it easier to apply for an AL license for all their living units, rather than designating some as 'independent' and some as 'assisted'. For Asst. Living, we found little difference between the various facilities we saw. In our high labor cost state, "rent" ranged from $2800-$4000/mo., for smaller units that were either studios, junior studios, or 1 bdrm. Some had 1/2 baths, some had full baths. Not all had kitchens (we didn't want one; MIL had dementia so not safe for her to cook). Within Asst Living there were three levels of care, as determined by MIL's facility. The family can negotiate but it's the facility that decides what to charge extra for. Every facility is different but most have a similar type process. It can be expensive: MIL needed nothing more than daily medication help and weekly bathing assistance. That cost $900/mo. and was rated Level 1, the cheapest extra assistance pkg. Buy-ins vary enormously. With a larger buy-in you are paying for your monthly costs to never increase even if you need 24/7 care eventually. With a smaller buy-in if you need to move, your costs will be charged market rate. This may sound great but every facility we met with told us they raise rates 3-5% annually, every July, without fail. So if you go in at age 60, and need 24/7 care at age 85, what the facility is charging today will be more than double when you finally do go in. Will you have enough $$$$? And please, do not fall in with the common idea of "Well, at 85 I won't care, and I'll probably be dead anyway." My MIL was 84 when she went in. Imagine her shock to discover that among her three other tablemates at meals, she was considered "the baby"! People are living longer, and you might well be one of them. We're very happy we found a place that worked out so well for her, but it took effort on our part. I urge you not to short doing your research. Find a place that suits you, even if it is a little further from family. This is one of the most expensive decisions you will ever make, and you should never have to regret it.