When my kids were in grad school they rented single rooms in private homes much like you are considering. The difference was my kids rented from single women, not couples, but that was probably just coincidence.

My son's situation was similar to pesky's in the fridge and laundry situation, but my dtr had her own bathroom and a mini fridge and microwave in her room. In both cases, there was virtually no interaction between my kids and their landladies. Neither had a
private entrance, just keys to the front door.

It was a good experience for both kids, both rented for two years in the same house, one kid at Florida State, the other at UNC Chapel Hill. Their landladies had both been renting those rooms for years.

No. The loss of privacy would drive us crazy. She has access to a half-bath? What about when she wants to use the shower or tub? Would that be in your bathroom? I would not have a stranger in the BR that I share with DH. What about the kitchen? Another woman in the kitchen? No way. While our home might not be ready for a sudden drop-in by the Queen of England, I am very particular about our kitchen, about how it's cleaned and what belongs where, and the only other people I want in there are DH and our (grown) children.

And to say it straight-out: I have been a divorcee. Have known a few divorcees. Eventually we want to affirm our femininity and we start looking around. One does not want one's DH in the line of vision. Decades ago I invited a newly-divorced good friend over for a weekend. She wandered around my 35 year old DH (the first one) and our two sons in a filmy see-through negligee and she was spectacular. I got her one of my robes, but that was the last sleepover, lol.

The little matter of the TV would also bother us. We love our TV/DVD-popcorn evenings, all comfortable with the cats and in the den.

Personally I think it was rather nervy of her to ask you to do this!

How big is your house? I need to know that before I can advise.

I couldn't do it. Be it lack of privacy or whatever, it would make me very uncomfortable. I'd feel guilty if I didn't include her in things, and then I'd resent feeling guilty for wanting to be alone with my husband in my own home. If I were a single woman, I'd much rather share an apartment with other single people so I could feel comfortable sharing the common space.

I live near a college and also in the state capital. I have rented a room to a series of young women, either students or govt employees for many years. It is a wonderful experience and have made life-long friends from this arrangement. Some lived here before my husband died and a few after, too.

My set up isn't as ideal as yours (no outside entrance) and the bath is down the hall from the room, but it worked fine. Any guests I had over to the house also use that bath, as do I when I'm on the main floor. I have my own bath and bedroom on the second floor. My tenants have all used the kitchen, but most of them were not really "cooks". Sometimes we shared meals, which was fun. I had to loosen up a bit about some things (a few extra dishes sometimes) or parking shuffle, but I reminded myself I was being paid for some minor inconvenience.

I never rented to a true stranger; all were people known to someone in my life. I met them first and made sure we seemed compatible and they liked the house, etc. You just have to be clear about your expectations and she does, too. It is just for a year and it might be a really fun time for you. Sharing my home (I am VERY much into my own privacy) really expanded my life and I never regretted it at all. If you can work out the bath/shower situation, and you like this young woman, I'd say do it. No reason for your friend to be in the middle; it sounds like everyone is an adult and could handle any problems.

The main thing I'd want to discuss is your expectation about visitors. I really don't want anyone else to be in the house. That has worked out fine, as most were single and very busy with their studies; I have had some of the young women's mothers stay in the other guest room when they visited from out of town. Those mothers were so happy to know their daughters were in a safe and comfortable home.

I couldn't do it for a boatload of reasons, lack of privacy being #1.

I just wanted to caution you on something: so we will never have to worry about late rent. She has also been a landlord before, and she promises she knows about being a good tenant.

Please don't bank on that. My own biggest reason aside from privacy would be having a tenant under my own roof. I have a bazillion stories about rental properties and tenants. Not all of them bad, some stories are good. But among the bad are some doozies. The greatest people on paper have turned out to be the most awful tenants, and people that weren't so great on paper have made exemplary tenants. Unfortunately, you just don't know what you're getting till that person is actually living under your roof (rental or your home). Having been a LL might mean she knows about being a good tenant, but it doesn't necessarily mean she'll be a good tenant. Emphasis again on you really never know how people live until you see it firsthand.

If you do go ahead with this, make it legal. Have a lease. Month to month. If anything goes south, all you need to do is give her 30 written days notice, you don't even need to give a reason to terminate the agreement. (Check your state code on that, some vary on the time period, but generally it's 30 days.) If you go long term lease for the full year and something goes wrong, unless she bails you're looking at eviction to get it 'undone'. If you don't have a rental agreement/lease in writing, and something goes wrong, you might find you're in a position where you have to legally evict her anyway. Your residence could become her legal residence just by virtue of her being there beyond xxx days/weeks. (You'd have to read your state code on that, too.)

While I think it might be a wonderful experience for everyone involved I personally couldn't do it. But that's me - I wouldn't want to share my private space for that long. But please think about your liability. I doubt your homeowners policy would cover this arrangement. You should probably ask your insurance agent about what additional coverage you'd need and you might want to consult an attorney.

As others posted you have to think about how you'll handle issues regarding common rooms - the bathroom, kitchen, laundry room etc. If you put a TV in your bedroom then will your renter have full use of your family room. Can you accommodate any visitors she might have? Will you provide meals too or will you each cook your own?

"And to say it straight-out: I have been a divorcee. Have known a few divorcees. Eventually we want to affirm our femininity and we start looking around. One does not want one's DH in the line of vision. Decades ago I invited a newly-divorced good friend over for a weekend. She wandered around my 35 year old DH (the first one) and our two sons in a filmy see-through negligee and she was spectacular. I got her one of my robes, but that was the last sleepover, lol."

Really? That's sad, but I don't think all women are cut from the same cloth. Having been a "divorcee" many years ago, I certainly didn't hunt for a new man in my girlfriends' closets. In the event you're worried that she'll target your DH, your present trust is misplaced in DH, but I am not getting that impression from your initial post. And I don't buy that "men will be men". Some men are committed to their marriages regardless of what walks past them scantilly clad. No question they may look, but they sure as shoot don't all act on it.

If this arrangement will work for you both, you trust your DH, and you need or could use the extra income, then I say give it thorough discussion with your potential roommate. Talk out any/all boundaries or concerns straight away.

Should you decide to agree to take a roommate, definitely put pen to paper in favor of a written agreement which sets forth conditions, etc. to be signed by all parties. .

This is done all of the time with college students who benefit greatly by obtaining affordable housing from a home owner with an extra bedroom to rent. Heck, many years ago, renting rooms in a larger home was one way to gain extra income if necessary.

Lastly, I have to agree with golddust, how big is your home? Have you pictured her in your home and how that will work? Since we have houseguests often, it would be okay for me since we have 3 entrys to our home, and I could if I needed/wanted to do something similar, make it possible that the renter would come and go as they please without ever being seen, yet he/she would still be able to use the kitchen or any other common part of my home that we agreed upon.

Please let us know what you decide.

I don't see a need to change the locks on the door to the room. You can buy cheap window shades. Possibly you could rearrange the TV room so the TV is not against the adjoining wall. But you can't change the privacy issue.

You could offer to rent her the room for a month or two until she has a chance to look around the area and get settled. That leaves it open for both sides to quit the situation if things don't work out.

You never know someone until they live in your house. We helped my stepson out for 4 months a few years ago & that was the worst 4 months. He was staying in my sons room; don't recall if he used my sons furniture but am pretty sure he did. Think we changed out the bed. One of the hardest things for me was the door being closed & feeling like we weren't allowed to know if he was taking care of the room or not. My whole house was open to him; yet he made it clear he did not want us in my sons room. He never asked before doing laundry & would shower when he felt like it; ignoring the others in the house & our established routines. He never tried to fit in with us; wanted us to fit in with him. We did a 3 week trial with an adult niece after that; but that did not work either; she did not clean up after herself & revolved around drama.

Best suggestion is if you consider it; start as a temp arrangement. Say you're willing to try it for xx amount of weeks; so that will not commit you to anything if it doesn't work out. They may not like living with you & this could give both parties an out if needed. If it works; then you need to figure out a lease; having a month to month lease can be good but also bad because they may feel like they can't relax because you may not renew. One idea is to establish how much notice you want if she decides to move out; will there be a security deposit & what if she does not pay on time? On an episode of 16 & Pregnant; one gal rented a room; then couldn't pay & gave almost no notice. The lady was left not able to pay her bills after doing someone a favor.

Things that would need to be established- how they dress; night clothes could be another issue; how often they will run the vac if there is carpet in the room. I might want some sort of throw rug to cover my wood floor or carpet; shower schedule; laundry. Will she bring a small fridge? Will you need access to the room? Is there a shower in the bathroom she will use? Will the bathroom be used only for her? Who will clean it? Will she supply the toilet paper? Sounds like a silly question until they actually move in & use a roll every 2 days.

I would not change my life to fit them; such as having to go to my room to watch TV. It's one thing to do it later at night but not all of the time.. Do you have valuables? Will you lock them up? What about your own bedroom door; is there a keyed lock on it? It may be a good idea to get in the habit of closing the door. It's very easy for people to get cash with small items.

As far as rent; will you have to claim it on your taxes as income? If so; what will it do to you when you file income taxes? You may want to work up your most recent taxes with her rent added to see if it would hurt.

My dad was a landlord & in the end he had the tenants from hell who's checks were always late & bouncing. I can tell stories; both good & bad. The biggest problem is that in my state; renters have more rights then landlords; so find out about that in your state.

It all depends on the type of person you are. Some people are the sort that would have exchange students in their home and some of us are not. I would hate it. I like my privacy, if I wake up and my hair is doing a pyramid I want to quietly have my two uninterrupted cups of tea before I take a rake to it and put something decent on. Please do not talk to me at all until I have my tea...not at all I tell you! If someone happens to be around while I'm making something to eat I would feel obliged to ask if they wanted something to eat. Or if I decided to have people over for drinks and appetizers I would feel like I should invite her if she were around. I'm not sure of your house size but as she is single what if she's a screamer type during intimate relations. What if she has people over? Where do you go? What if you want to vacuum and she wants to study?

I think it could be really hard unless she has her own area to be self sufficient, like a kitchenette and shower facilities. I guess I would ask myself if you could stand having a stranger living in the house and sharing facilities like bathroom, kitchen etc. That would cramp my style and make me feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward but may be you would be ok with that? Don't think of it as someone with their own access that you would never see, think of it as having a year long house guest that you don't know, are you ok with that? I think it would be really hard for most people.

It sounds to me like this woman just wants to be in a safe environment while she's in school. Since the income would be a bonus and the room does have a separate entrance, I would give it a try but I think Roselvr made a very good suggestion about a temporary arrangement to make sure it's a good fit for everyone.

I had to rent out rooms for years and had both positive and negative experiences. The most important lesson I learned was that open lines of communication are very important and the ground rules need to be outlined from the git go not after someone did something I didn't appreciate.

I was just reading your blog & now understand where the extra rent money could go. Did you ever fix your septic? The next question would be; do you also have a well? If you're having septic issues; a 3rd person in the home could add to it & with a well; depending on whether your old owners took care of it; there are parts that may need to be replaced. Will you put her in the basement or where your office is?

What is the age in relation to you & your hub? The other thing is bringing a similar aged woman in. Looking at your blog; seems like you've had a rough year. Owning a home is new to you & your hub; will your relationship be able to handle a woman living with you? My step son moved in during my dads cancer; we moved my son to my dad's in order to help SS out; plus my son would be able to watch over my dad. We originally thought SS would help us out with things like cooking dinner since he did not work & him not fitting in with our life made our already stressful life even worst. Some people are just not good house guests; his next living situation didn't work out either.

I agree with the others about feeling obligated to include them in meals. What could be a plus is if she cooks or knows how to remodel. Another downside to it would be you wanting to remodel & worrying about disturbing her.

Do you know anyone in this particular program that can give you a better idea of how much she'd be in school etc verses down time?

One of the other things would be her own TV & net. We have DirecTV; they'd need to add a box for TV in my spare & with internet; some plans actually have download caps where you can't do unlimited downloads. Some of this may not matter; she could go to the library to work.

By the way; love your dining room color. Any clue what it is similar to in a Behr color?

"...couldn't do it for a boatload of reasons, lack of privacy being #1." LOL, Moonshadow, you've got my number too!

There's not a snowball's chance that I could do this. I am a very private person. For an ill or elderly relative, of course I'd do it, but that's the only scenario I'd consider.

I admire Olychick for being so generous, and maybe this arrangement would work out well for you too.

Someone you've only met a few times has the nerve to ask if she can rent a room in your house for a year? How much rent is she proposing paying? Sounds a little fishy to me.

It doesn't sound fishy to me at all. It sounds like someone who has her head on straight and is trying to make her way in life.

Makeithome is probably the only person she knows in that city. That's who I would start with if I were in her shoes.

But she doesn't know her well. If it's a college town there should be no shortage of housing possibilities. It would be one thing if the OP made the offer, but to be approached like that?

Again, Roselvr adds some interesting points to the situation and wise ones at that. A 20 something renting to another 20 something can be a more dangerous mix. Also, we're on septic and a well and those are very important things to consider too.

Since you are taking the time to post and considering this as a possibility, I agree that you should start with a short time period to see how you each adjust. If it doesn't work out, you can tell the friend that you didn't realize how much your privacy meant to you. No need to go into specifics like the renter is a slob etc.
What is nice about this is that there is an actual time frame. You say a year, but a school year is much less time.
Also won't she be going home for holidays and school breaks? My husband always felt the kids were more home than in college!
Look, who couldn't use the extra money?
If you go this route, rules need to be clear on both sides.

I see your point, Natal. It reminds me of something I was taught in a job search course. Networking is everything when you are searching for a job, but you don't want to put people on the spot by flat out asking for a job. So they told us to say, "Do you know of any company that is looking for [insert job title]."

And for the OP, it would be different if she and her husband had thought about the possibility of renting out a room before being asked by this woman. Still, when opportunity knocks . . .

I have to say that I never, ever thought of renting a room to anyone. I'm a solitary person and require a lot of privacy. I, too, was approached by a friend about the possibility and every tenant I've had has been through other people. I've never advertized and never would. Maybe the cosmos brought all my tenants and me together, which is why it worked. If you are both bridesmaids to the same friend/relative, I suspect the bride suggested she call you and see if you'd consider having her. It's scary these days to move to a new community and find housing. Lots to make people, especially young female students wary of answering ads on CL, etc.

If you think it could work, then have her come and have some serious conversations about expectations. A trial period is a great idea. That would give her some safety and time to consider other options. I really believe you receive back what you put out there - so if it seems fishy, well then that's what you're putting forth. I am not a naive person and totally trust my gut.

I felt like I had the space to spare (but my house is only 2000 sq ft and I only share the bottom/main floor - so less than 1000 sf), the people I've rented to are ALL wonderful people who I felt lucky to have come into my life...and they feel the same way. It's really an opportunity to build community, but you should trust your instincts about whether she is "your kind of person." If you get the right vibe from her, I doubt you will regret it and if you don't do it, you'll never know what you may have missed.

If you decide to do this (lots of thoughtful responses above), I think over time, she and you would want her to have her own bath. Any chance of adding a shower to that half bath?

Hey Everyone,

Thank you so much for all of your input. DH and I are actually developing a pros and cons list right now, but I wanted to take some time to answer some of your questions.

1. The house is small... 1450 sq ft
2. There is no chance of making the half bath a full bath, as there is only just enough room for a toilet and a small vanity
3. I'm not worried about DH and this girl. First of all, from a purely physical standpoint, she is not his type. Not saying she isn't attractive, just saying that he personally is not attracted to her at all. Second, I trust him 100%.
4. The paint in our dining room is hot spring stones from BM, and I am really not sure if Behr has a similar color. However, I will say about our paint - it can look both pink and purple, depending on the lighting. At first I was horrified, but overtime I have come to appreciate its complexities. Not sure if that would be a problem for others, however.
5. We have a septic, and we just hooked up to public water.

Just as a couple other notes... I agree that if we were to do this, good communication and boundaries could spell the difference between success and disaster.