Djsaw, No one has talked about 'lifestyle and money'... Jkom put it in a very technical way. I am putting a bit of a human story behind it.... but saying the same thing. The fact that you are not working right now and living off the dividends is a big red flag for your future. You have kids and your living expenses will only grow not lessen. Unless there is enough money to meet all your future needs, ie college, mortgage, new car, travel etc, you need either a job that pays well enough or an investment strategy that will give you enough to live on without eroding the principle. There may or may not be enough money for that as is. (I have no idea from your post.) This is where you need to talk to someone that can really figure out what you want for yourself and your kids with the money that is there. Most people with a young family need about $5mil to $10mil nest egg to have an upper middle class lifestyle without needing to work for life AND risking the principle. "Not risking the principle" is a very important concept because you do not have the earning power to bring it back up if you lost it. (If your wage was a $1/2 mil to $1mil a year then no big deal but you are not there...) People like Donald Trump and Ted Turner can pull themselves out of near bankruptcy but most of us cannot recoup the lost principle. I have seen multigenrationally wealthy families have this happen to them due to risky investments. If I had your money, I would want to have certain things that money can buy; a house in a good school district, enrichment for my kids, good after school care for my kids if I was working, nice vacations etc. Notice I did not list designer handbags or fancy cars. One of the joys of having money is that you can have some opportunities that enable you to enjoy life more fully and perhaps get your kids a small head start with good education and opportunities that may help them in life. We are all driven by Darwinian instinct to put our kids ahead of someone else's kids. This does not mean materially owning more things. However, there are things money can buy you to achieve that. As an example, I have piano lessons for myself and music lessons for my kids that cost about 6 to 8K per year. I get a great deal of joy out of my music. I budget about 10K to 20K for travel every year because I want to see the world and I want my kids to see the world. These items add up to a significant amount of money and I could not do these things if my salary was 50K a year, a median salary for a family of 4 in the USA. For example, if there is $1 to 2 mil in you portfolio and you have 50K to 75K before taxes to live on, then that is not a 'great income' to have a nice life style. However, if you supplmented that by having $50k salary, then you may be able to do things that you thought not possible with either the income alone or just the earnings from the inheritance alone. This is why you talk to the financial advisor/planner to help you achieve your lifestyle goals, whatever they maybe.... You are extremely lucky. I wish you the best.

....take over her bill paying, and then giver her an allowance. Not knowing whether or not a financial Power of Attorney has been conferred, I'd be hesitant to recommend taking the responsibility of discharging another's debt. What would that mean? Paying out of your own pocket? Sign her checks for her? You can't legally sign another's checks without the granted power to do so. Perhaps the least intrusive and easiest thing would be to have her son's name added to her checking account. Even though my brother had my Mother's financial POA and took charge of asset management, etc., I had the responsibility of keeping up with the everyday things. I simply had my name added to her checking account when she was beginning the slide into Alzheimer's and getting farther and farther removed from taking care of her affairs. I seem to recall it was nothing more than a quick visit to the bank, signing a paper providing my SS#, etc. and ordering a new set of checks. I also understand what it is to try and engage a senior in other activities - sometimes it's just not in the cards. Either they're not joiners by nature or as they age there's a certain fear in trying new things that are a little outside of their comfort zone. My Mother gave up playing golf with the local ladies league at age 85 and we never could come up with something/anything even remotely close to replacing the enjoyment she got from that. From what the OP has written, it does seem her MIL is just aging and that bad habits are becomming magnified; she doesn't quite recognize her spending habits as unusual or that she's being taken advantage of by her sister. It might not be any one of the dementias one could put their finger on right now. It could be in the future.

My head gets a bit sore at times, too. When I look Christ in the eye ... some of the stuff that we do ... and don't do ... takes on a different perspective. o j

"I am curious as to why BM would see if she could move in with her X, if her parents would make a home for her. How big is BMs parents house?" This was a couple years ago. Because she is crazy, that's why. :) No...it was because she had already lived with her parents for 2-3 months in between boyfriends and didn't want to do it again. She broke up with the guy she had lived with for two years, and lived with her parents for about two or three months before moving in with her now-DH. Her reason for wanting out of her parents' house at the time was that they set down a bunch of rules. They told her she had to get a job and/or go back to school or some sort of trade program. They put stipulations on how late she could stay out, said she was not allowed to come home drunk, had to help with cleaning, cooking, etc. At the time, BM was probably 29-30ish and she was infuriated that they would lay down rules---she was especially ticked that her younger sister lived at home, had a suite in the basement remodeled for her, had no rules, etc. What BM didn't seem to get is that her sister has her master's in Education, teaches full-time and just has her life together overall. So of course her parents treat her like an adult--because she behaves like one. Anyway---I don't know how big their home is, I know that BM and SS were sharing a room when they lived there, so I guess maybe it's a 3 bedroom? I mean, I don't blame her for not WANTING to do that, but geez....sometimes things aren't always what we want. And to me--- her wanting to move in us with US---not just her EX, KKNY, but her ex and his then-fiancee----is absolutely insane! WHO would want to do that? A crazy person!