I have been incredibly surprised with this bougainvillea vine over the past week. Its growing much faster than i could have ever anticipated. I would not be surprised at all at this rate if i get flower buds in the next 5-10 days. I've never seen such growth in such a short time on any houseplant. In the last 5 days its gotten over 18 inches longer, grown over 40 more leaves, all of which are now a vibrant glossy green. Keeping in mind this is a small plant and its only in a 5 inch pot. I dont even recognize the pictures i took and posted on here from Saturday. Think of those pics above only completely covered from head to tail in leaves.

twotogo - thank you for your nice welcome. This is kind of a weird situation - kind of premature for real retirement planning - but it is a one time opportunity that we need to make some decisions on in the not too distant future. I know from past experiences when we considered building a home that I have a hard time compromising on what I want vs. what I can afford. Remodeling our kitchen was very educational in terms of the cost of different choices. I have actually spent quite a bit of time over the years pondering house plans and other house stuff - either at times we considered building or at times we considered remodeling to improve things in our current home. I'm a big fan of The Not So Big House - spending more on the character of a smaller space vs. on more space. I know I have a hard time with the idea of making a decision from a plan where I've never actually been in the house - or at least seen photos of the "finished goods". That is why I am drawn to things that are closer to what I've had. Also entirely unclear at this point if we would sell current place in the foreseeable future and build new place in next few years - or just buy the property now and build retirement place in 10 years or so. All kinds of ideas spinning around at this point - it's fun to consider the possibilities.

tey again,,he he...

Thanks so much everyone for your input. I guess one of the reasons I don't want to leave is because I have been in love with this boy since I was 13 years old. He was who I turned to when my parents split, when my dad remarried and all of the sudden I had these 4 step-siblings, when I went through all these growing pains throughout the years. He has been my shoulder to cry on, my rock, etc. And it's not like I haven't dated around. Ha. I've had boyfriends since the 7th grade. And my first year in college I definitely had my party, go out and just meet guys and date and everything phase, and while it was fun, I always felt like there was something missing, and that feeling went away when my BF and I got together. Trust me you guys, I hear all of this from my mom, and while I can see that all of you have a point, I'm going to go with my heart and gut for now. ulrilke1 - I definitely can hear you about the main concern being the baby (I'm going to stick with anonymity from now on). And I have talked to my BF about that - because not only is my concern her getting attached to me...but me getting attached to her. I am a kid freak. I'm studying to be an occupational therapist and I want to specialize in pediatrics. I've nannied, interned in hospital nursuries, etc etc. I LOOOOOVE kids. That's why we've actually went ahead and waited for so long. The few times I have interacted with her have been very short, non-committal, the way his friends act around her. Now we're talking about taking it to a more serious level. sweeby - trust me, I have had those thoughts about whether or not a relationship could truly form between the baby and I because of BM since day one, and I'm very open about them with my BF. From what he has said and what little I have seen, the baby seems very very advanced for her age, and she's eerily good at reading people. The first time I ever met her, she just sat so still and stared at me, which threw me off because I'm used to happy, cuddly babies, or crying ones. The next time, she assessed me for a few minutes, then was happy to let me hold her and gave me her cheek to kiss before I left, and its been that way since. My BF said he is hopeful that her apparent intelligence and ability to read people will benefit her as she grows, and that she will be able to see through her moms histrionics. In addition to that, at BMs house, its her, her mother, stepfather, sister, and brother. From what I can tell, it's the BMs mother who does the majority of the care. In fact, the BMs mom has said she rarely leaves the BM alone with the baby, she prefers to leave the BMs YOUNGER sister with them, and that if the BM ever tried to leave, she wouldn't be leaving with the baby. Essentially, the hope my BF and I have is that with a good support system around the baby, we can cushion the detrimental effects of the BM. Both my BFs and the BMs moms are very involved with the baby, and from what everyone can see, she is happy and doing well, which is a blessing. We're taking it a day at a time. stepmomof4 - I have been doing EXACTLY that. Every time she has IM'd me, i keep a record. Any time she has messaged me, I've kept a record. And thankfully, any interaction between the two of us (and it has been minimal) has been in public places with plenty of witnesses. And it's sad to say, but it's true - she really did tear his life apart. He had all of these friends and he was in a band, and one by one she pushed them out of his life. She made his relationships with his mother and sister very unstable, and he fears that if they hadn't have broken up when they did, he and his mom wouldn't have made it. We honestly think she has either antisocial or borderline personality disorder. Shes one of those people who just plays up emotion to this big level, but when you really look, its very clearly an act. It's as if she acts out emotions because she can't feel them. The two times I have ever had interaction with her are as follows: I had been with my boyfriend for almost two months. I was in his place of work just studying for my finals because I had about a week of break before I had to take them. The night before, we had been at one of his friends houses, and he accidentally left his phone. The friend called me from it when we got home, letting us know he'd bring the phone by later. So I'm sitting and studying when I hear a "Uh oh..." from one of my BFs coworkers. BM comes storming through the door, guns blazing. She was SCREAMING "I have been calling you ALL morning, YOUR CHILD is sick. Blah Blah Blah. Oh (she gestured to me) but I can see that when she's around you just don't care." he kept going on and on and finally a police officer who was eating there forced her to leave. And on her way out she looks right at me and goes "Oh, and he's already cheating on you. I slept with him last week" and I just didn't even grace that with a response, which made her even more angry. The second time was over this past summer. She asked my BF and I to sit down with her to "clear the air" about the past. For the first of three hours we were there, it was her talking about things that I didn't need to be involved in, such as the baby's insurance coverage, yadda yadda. Then it just was her talking about how she didn't want my BF anymore, I shouldn't feel threatened about their attempt at friendship for the baby's sake, she hoped we could be civil to each other. I walked away from that feeling pretty good, like we had all had a chance to clear the slate. That night, I dropped off my boyfriend at work (he had left his original place of work to take a job somewhere else...then the BM got a job at the same place. vomit.) and she asked him where his car was. He responded with "oh, _________ drove me to work. She has my car." She flipped out, thinking we had driven from my house to his, and that he was going to have to drive me home. When he corrected her, saying that my car was at his place, I was just using his car around town to save gas, instead of a rational, "I'm sorry, my mistake" she was snide and snotty and rude, and that was the start of the downhill relationship, leading to the restraining order. So, sorry this is so long everyone. I just feel like all of you really know what's up and can help me in ways people that haven't gone through this can't - like just answer my questions and talk about my concerns...one of which is court coming up. The first date was very simple. The judge read over the case, said any threats or mean comments made in the texts were not aimed towards the BM and that he should enjoy his parenting time as stated in their parenting plan, the end. Now, we're going back to court to not only decide if the order will become permanent, but some other custody things. This time I apparently will be called to talk about the incident that propagated the order, as well as my past interactions with BM, to prove that she gives just as good as she gets, and the order should go both ways, if that. The only reason my BF is even fighting the order is because he'd have to report it to any jobs or other college programs, and even if dropped, he plans to maintain it in that the grandmothers will to the transferring of the child, and he will not have any contact with her. Any advice on people that have been in this situation? I'm so sorry at how long this is, it's just I feel like I have people who will actually understand that I can really tell things to. Thanks