Questions re: 50th wedding anniv. celebration

11 years ago

Hello all!

We are planning a 50th anniv. party for DH's parents. Yesterday I spent an hour playing with an online invitation maker. Boy, was that fun!!

First question: I just chose the first online invitation source that came up on google. However, before I order anything, does someone have a vendor that they could highly recommend.

Second question: This will be a surprise party. We want to include instructions such as, "Jack and Jill will arrive at 4:30. If you are not able to arrive at 4:00, we ask that you wait to enter until 4:45," or something similar. Any suggestions on the most tactful was to word this?

Any other fun ideas are appreciated too! This anniversary is extra special because MIL is a cancer survivor. They gave her two years; she is going on six!

Thanks!

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Comments (5)

party_music50
11 years ago
We tried to think of everything for our parents' 50th -- limo, flowers, music, cake, members of their wedding party!, photo books from their wedding, etc. etc. but we forget a photographer! I definitely wish we had had a photographer. :(

I don't know about the etiquette of including the arrival times you suggest... not sure why you would want that? I recently attended a 60th birthday party where we were told to arrive at a certain time. We were all there as requested, and it ended up being a room full of people sitting and waiting for OVER AN HOUR for the 'special guest' to arrive. Bad idea and it didn't go over well.
houseful
Original Author
11 years ago
You are so right!! I don't know what I was thinking. I will give the party time and hope people are smart enough not to be late to a surprise party.

I already have a photographer, videographer and DJ lined up. I did think of those right away.

Thanks!
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I'll be 50 next year, and I may very well have a party. Why not? If you are worrying that people will think you are fishing for gifts, I think that it is all in HOW you do it, not WHETHER. Obviously, you do NOT include any hints or worst of all wish or registry lists. You could write "no gifts please," because although etiquette forbids it (because ANY mention of gifts is forbidden), it certainly isn't greedy or pushy. But as one poster pointed out, many people will buy gifts anyway. I wouldn't assume it's because they are thinking "Oh, yeah, right, I know I AM expected to buy a gift anyway." I think they WANT to buy you a gift. After all, it's your 50th birthday -- party or not, I bet most of your good friends would like to buy you a gift. Your guest list is the key, in my opinion. Invite people who know you well enough to know you are giving a party to celebrate, not as a fund-raiser for yourself. For my 40th birthday, I had a semi-surprise party: I knew there would be a party, and when, but my husband and friend made all the plans. (It was really fun -- a sort of a treasure hunt all around town, with the clues being questions from my favorite word game that the teams of four had to solve, then either get the artifact suggested by the answer or do the activity it named -- which sometimes required getting strangers involved, to form a square dance, for example -- which they had to prove with a Polaroid picture. Afterward was supper, comparing the results of the hunt, and giving out prizes.) They didn't put "no gifts" on the invitation, and people did bring gifts (or gave them to me another time). But I don't think it was a problem -- anyway, I hope not (how would I know? People are too polite to tell you something like that! But I have been to others' birthday parties and haven't heard anyone complain about this). Most of the guests were people who would've given me a 40th birthday gift anyway, and the gifts weren't big -- perhaps a picture frame, CD, or a book, or a donation to charity. That's pretty much what you'd spend on a hostess gift if you were invited to dinner for a non-birthday party, isn't it? The point is, I think people worry too much about this. If they want to give you a gift, they will no matter what you do. It's not terrible to give a gift -- it's fun! If I have a party next year, I probably will handle this by not mentioning "birthday" (or "anniversary" -- our 25th is the same month as my 50th birthday) on the invitation. Just "please come to a party."
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How thoughtful of you to do this for your parents! Especially your wanting to ensure that your guests will be cool & comfortable (I'm so done with attending outdoor summer weddings & sweating/melting in my good clothes) is impressive. Your plans sound great - especially having it butlered so you can enjoy this special party along with your guests. I was just a kid in the 50's and barely remember attending those weddings & receptions (but I do remember they were lovely and low-key...either watercress sandwiches, champagne & wedding cake, or the sit-down dinners). I do remember my parents & their friends hosting cocktail parties (which were very popular)...my folks made daiquiries or whiskey sours. I don't remember the hor d'oeuvres as being all that great though - not like today's. Onion dip was popular (made from Lipton's dry onion soup)...you might want to make the Barefoot Contessa's onion dip which is much better and serve with home-made potato chips as a 50's hor d'oeuvres (along with current healthier appetizers!). Have some chilled champagne for a toast, do big posters with photos of your parents' school days, courtship, friends, early marriage, babies arriving, etc. (my sister & I did that for the 50th anniv. party we held for our parents--lots of fun to create & guests enjoyed seeing themselves "back in the day"). Maybe have a CD featuring hits from the 50's (what a major change in music over those 10 years, especially when rock and roll came along). And, if possible, someone who will do a bit of emceeing (for lack of a better word), welcoming everyone, saluting the guests of honor maybe with funny stories from their courting days or wedding day, introducing special guests (their wedding party), etc. Oh--and someone to take videos and photos. Have a good time planning this party. It will be a lot of fun for your family and your parents will be so pleased. Ann
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For me, 40 was great, 50 not so much. Same thing here with hypothyroid and menopause. I work out, do weights, got a Fitbit, have a treadmil desk (which I am using now), and it is very frustrating. DH and I are doing a few vegetarian meals per week, and that seems to be helping to get the calories down. I am also very conscious of chronic disease. This year I had a nuclear stress test, a concussion, and I got called back on my yearly mammogram when I never had been before. I had a screening colonoscopy at 50 and wound up having a large precancerous polyp removed. Thank goodness everything turned out OK but I may eventually run out of luck. Hence, the need to get weight off but exercise does have its own independent effects--yay. Debra, we went with my family to the Rolling Stones show at the Ralph,so, yes, it was quite a range. We had this hoochie-mama in the row in front of us with her thong hanging out of her pants and then her big implants and she was probably in our age range. There was a young teen boy and the father moved him from being next to her since the woman her friends came late.
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User
11 years ago
Houseful, just as an added idea, when we planned DH's parents' 50th surprise party, one of the things that we added at the last minute was a guest book for all the guests to sign. There was space to add addresses so we could send thank you cards later, and pockets to put photos that we printed off, so the parents could sit back later and reminisce over the events. We enlisted one of the grandteens to wander the crowd, sit with guests, and offer the guest book. It ended up being a lovely memory book!

Don't forget to have a few extra vases for flowers that WILL arrive, and need a place to be displayed. Many of the inlaws flowers were later donated to a seniors home, so the vases we picked up were just from the dollar store, and we didn't need to worry about getting them back to owners.

Not sure on what your situation will be regarding gifts, but we picked up a large basket for the usual anniversary cards and the small tags that were included with gifts. We also had someone in charge of writing on the back of some of the gift tags, just what the person had given the parents. Made it very easy to mention what the gift had been, and the giver if for instance "Love Mary" had been written on the card. Which Mary? Who? LOL.

We ended up with a large 3 ring binder of "stuff", info on bakeries, caterers, videographers, business cards, bed and breakfast locations for incoming guests, maps of the area, etc etc, and pages and pages of notes of who was taking care of what, who was picking up what when, who was booking whatever. It was very handy to have one point of reference for all the info.

We had a most lovely time arranging the anniversary surprise, as the parents live in England and some of the logistics of organizing long distance with all the siblings spread out across the UK and Canada, were a little more difficult to iron out. I will say that some of the best moments were not caught on camera or video sadly, but we all have lots of fabulous memories that we cherish! We DID have guests that showed up hours early, for some unknown reason, as they lived near the inlaws, intown, but oh well! We put them to work too! LOL

Enjoy your event, and be prepared to be exhausted at the end!
deborah_ps
11 years ago
Here's the clickable link Houseful :)

Here is a link that might be useful: 50th Wedding Anniv.
houseful
Original Author
11 years ago
Thanks, Deborah. I'm posting it again below.

Countrycottage, That sounds like a wonderful party.

I love your suggestions, especially the vase suggestions. And I am getting a binder to do as you suggested. We have 5 teenagers that will each get a job during the party. They will love that!

Since this forum is slow, I reposted in the Kitchen Table forum. They have given me some great advice!

Here is a link that might be useful: Link to Kitchen Table

Questions re: 50th wedding anniv. celebration

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Questions re: 50th wedding anniv. celebration

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party_music50

housefulOriginal Author

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deborah_ps

housefulOriginal Author

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