De-lurking here to say it's not just you! We had a strange spring with wild weather swings (up to 40F from daytime to night), and I have to say...this is the crappiest rose season I've had in 8 years. Very abundant number of buds--probably the most ever--but the quality of the individual flowers just stinks. Like the worst thrips damage ever, but each and every rose has it. Some roses had stunted/balled/withered buds, others had blackened petal edges, still others didn't bother with blooms. My Queen Elizabeths, easily the most prolific roses in my garden, haven't bloomed yet. There are some old, established bushes that hardly went beyond their pruned size and only spewed a few deformed buds. Thrips are normally a problem on my light colored roses, but this blight is affecting every color. The later developing buds are better--if on the small side. It's the roses that developed first (late April to early May, which is quite late for us) that were the worst. Surprisingly, the roses that seemed to shrug it off best were some of my David Austins--Jude, the Dark Lady, and a few others. But some of the DA's (Abraham Darby) and other shrub roses and climbers (like Sombreuil) were just horrific. My mom came over and said "you know, if you just look at the roses from the house, they're not so bad." Sigh. And we had such a lovely, rainy winter (for us) that I was sure the rose flush was going to be awesome. And the numbers were truly impressive--hundreds of buds on some of my small (3 ft) bushes, which is the best I've seen. But again, the actual quality of the buds was the worst I've ever seen. Some tried and true winners from my garden were hard pruned just because I couldn't bear to look at their browned/blackened/crinkly/balled horrible little blooms. These included: memorial Day, Queen Elizabeth, Sheer Bliss, Peace (sob), Marilyn Monroe, Daybreaker, New Zealand, Just Joey, blue Nile, Evelyn, Abe Darby, Charles Darwin, Autumn Sunset, Golden Something(normally gorgeous downturned sunny yellow blooms, but this time they didn't even open!),Chicago Peace, Tamora, Pink Peace, Mirandy, Mary Rose, Secret (double sob), McCartney Rose, Tiffany....I could go on, but I'm feeling kind of nauseous. To put it in different terms: I have over 160 rose bushes with few repeats, and this year I have only brought six cut blooms into the house. SIX. But who can really blame the poor roses? Last week we hit 100 degrees on Monday, and on Thursday the high was 54 with rain (snow in Flagstaff, poor buggers). What is a plant to do in these conditions? Apparently, they sulk. Now it's getting to be blistering hot again, with humidity in the single digits. Spider Mite season. I won't likely see a good bloom until September, and then the deer and javelinas will be moving in for their Autumn feast. I'm thinking of getting into daffodils. At least the lilies, Shasta daisies, coreopsis, and cannas are doing well. And the glads look like they might actually open this year (last year they were all duds). I'm off to sulk myself. Heather

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Hi Kmttsmom, Thank you for being kind. I'm really not trying to get a reaction or hurt anyone and I think I've stated it over and over, but it bears repeating. :) I'm hurt too, and confused at how my estrangement got to the point it did. Years and years of misunderstanding, letting things go when they really should have been talked out then, not feeling like I could say anything because it would be taken the wrong way. So I'm just trying to understand it from a mother's point of view. And it seems like a lot of mothers are defensive (that's ok, they have a right to be, but then they take it as I'm attacking) and words like "spoiled brat" come into the picture. I'm not, nor was I ever, a spoiled brat. I was raised one of the least spoiled people you would ever meet. No electricity, no television, catchment water, no neighbors. No Christmas tree, very few presents for my birthday. My mother never bought me a car, paid for insurance, college, rent, bills, etc. I had to give away my toys to more needy kids time and again. We recycled everything. I moved out at 14 to live with my dad because of her emotional abuse, and I lived pretty much on my own because he had to work 150 miles away and would be gone for days at a time. I walked to school a few miles away and walked home, did my homework, made myself dinner, and went to bed. And I forgave her in high school. I was able to put it all behind me and move forward. And I included her in my daughter's birth. And when she needed a place to live, I let her move in with me. And then I realized she was an energy vampire. She literally sucked me dry, blamed me for everything, took my friends and started to turn my daughter against me. And she walked all over me. Time and again. So, my defenses go up too, when mothers just say that kids just need to respect their parents, and "get over it". It's a very emotionally charged situation. I didn't come on here for support, I came on here to learn what others think. So I think part of the conflict is our approach to what we expect from this board. I'm shocked at being told to go away, that my opinion is not wanted or needed or valued because I don't agree and I'm asking questions. It seems it's either one way or the highway. And when I apply this to what women here are saying about their damaged relationships the correlation seems too blatant to ignore. I don't think anyone here is a "Bad Mother". The fact that people are even talking about it indicates that they are truly trying to be good people. I'm sure everyone on here has their good and bad moments, and it can be hard to judge emotion when it's in writing, without any facial gestures or other non-verbal clues. I guess this isn't the place for me to be asking my questions because it is seen as an attack, and I felt just terrible the past few days, because I feel bad that people are taking my words that way, and now I feel attacked too. Thank you again, for your very clear, from the heart post. I do wish you the best in your situation. No one should have to feel like this. ~Silver

You know I've read the OP's statements several times and never did she say how long the dog was crated. I've gone on record as stating that I crate my dogs and i will continue to crate my dogs when I am not available to supervise them. However, 10-13 hours is entirely too long. I know many trainers and many competitors at top levels and none suggest caging up a dog all the time. The dogs I'm involved with come from field lines and positively define high energy. They would very quicly go competely bonkers if not given an appropriate outlet for their energy. If I am to be gone more than 4 hours, I make arrangements for a responsible party to take care of the dogs. Having seen personally or heard of too many "accidents" with dogs who had been completely "trustworthy" in the past, I feel it is in the best interests of the dogs to safely confine them when I am not home. I do not believe in doggy doors either and I will not come home to a dead dog or a dog in need of immediate surgery because of my own pride in my training techniques. Perhaps if it were not the hot button issue of crating, this philosophy wouldn't be under attack? For example, I train my dogs not to counter-surf. I can prepare dinner and know that the 12 course dinner I'm preparing will not disappear behind my back. I expect to still see Tom Turkey on the counter if I leave the room to answer the phone. Tom had best be unmolested when I'm done showering. However, I'm not silly enough to insist that a turkey left alone on the counter for 4 hours would just get up and walk away on its own while 4 loyal dogs lay innocently with heads resting on crossed paws. I trust my training, but dogs are dogs. They are animals and to them, 5 minutes of joyfully devouring a turkey is worth a punctured esophagus. I cannot reason with them after the fact anymore than I could reason with a 3 year old. I didn't leave my 3 year old children home alone either and no matter how much we want to think that dogs are children, they don't ever progress past the mentality of a 3 year old. Could i leave my 10 year old lab out while I'm gone? Probably. She sleeps in her crate while i'm gone and I'm )almost) sure that she would sleep on the floor while I'm gone. But I don't want to find out I was wrong at the expense of my dog's life, especially when they ENJOY their crates and LIKE being in a safe place. I was given charge over these animals - I will care for them and not leave them to their own devices. Part of my responsible dog ownership is ensuring that their minds and bodies are stimulated enough to desire rest and re-charging when I'm not available. To this end, I play with each dog individually for 30 minutes each morning - hard play equivalent to the most strenuous aerobics class. We then take an 30 minute walk and brush up on obedience skills. Breakfast is served while I shower and prepare for the day, followed by potty time and a bit more fetching. Crate time is generally from 11-1. After errands, the dogs go back out to enjoy the fresh air and relieve themselves if needed. Before starting dinner for the human family, the dogs get another 30 minute aerobic workout. They lounge inside (or out if I'm grilling) until after dinner (theirs and mine) Two are competing and they get another obedience session in the evening, followed by a family walk. Before it gets dark, I take the one dog who is competing in field trials out for some bird work. Everyone then gets to watch TV before a final pit stop and retiring to various sleeping spots. I've owned dogs for 40 years now. Always multiples and always highly trained. I've lost plenty, but it was always due to old age or disease and never to something preventable like a car accident or foreign object ingestion. This is due to careful supervision and superior training and I'd like to keep my record and my conscience clean.