GOTCHA!! I see the whole picture here! Thank you all for your imput! It is very understandable and I see things a lot clearer now. Choosing non-married couples makes sense for a lot of reasons. I am no longer miffed and will be very supportive. Actually, I am kind of glad it happened this way because it will allow my fiance a better understanding of the relationship I have with my own god daughter. He is such a wonderful partner and father, that any child he is able to have an intimate relationship with would be truly blessed anyway. No - I am not Catholic, but the rest of my family is. To Carla35 - Yes I do know what it means to be a God Parent. I am a God mother to my best friends' daughter. We baptized our son last July so I am very familiar with the Catholic religions practices regarding God parents and the sacrament of baptism. To Colleenoz - My fiance's neices and nephews not calling me aunt doesn't bother me. I used it as an example for you all to better understand my relationship with the children. It is up to their parents and them as to what they call me and if they ever decide to even call me "aunt". Also - we DO have tentative wedding dates set for either November 1st or 8th of 2008. We plan to marry in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Thank you all for your comments!

I have a sizable fig tree I need to move and don't really know where to put it...cuz it is near the house and the house needs new siding and painting. I suppose it is possible someone out there may be silly enough to trade for my few not special plants I have hanging around the yard. This stuff I can get rid of include: Yellow archangel ground cover, vinca (purple)ground cover, some iron clad hostas (by iron clad I just mean deer and bugs don't really bother with them), lily of the valley ground cover, I suppose I could dig up some forsythia, I also have a hydrangea I have been tying to get give away for years. I could throw in some daffodils and crocuses. I also an upright (I suppose the word is vastigate) apple (not sure of var) which seems to take well to cuttings attempts. Here below are some plants just to give an idea of some plants I am interested in: Really I don't care what format (bear root, plant, seed, cutting...) Clematis, Diamond Ball Hazelnut, any kind Pawpaw any hardy kind Passionflower, Maypops Hibiscus, Honeymoon Red Sedum, Firecracker Ice Plant Autumn Olive, Garnet Jujube, Shanxi Li Bare Root or Plant would be nice Currant, Consort Black Bare Root or Plants Honeyberry Collection Goji Berry, Sweet Lifeberry Plum, Italian Prune Medlar, Breda Giant Kiwi, Hardy Red or Kiwi, Hardy (whatever, normal type/var) Gooseberry, Hinnomaki Red Elderberry, any var Lingonberry, Koralle Cornelian Cherry, Red Star Creeping phlox, Emerald Blue Gotu kola Poppy, Allegro Plant or seeds Lobelia, Vulcan Red Sunflower, Double Dandy Hybrid Calamus Cypress Vine, Red Nicotiana, Heaven Scent Brahmi (Bacopa monieri) Poppy, Patty's Plum Salvia, Victoria or Divinivorum (not sure of spelling) Gaillardia, Goblin Asclepias, Red Butterfly Sunflower, Fantasia Mix Hybrid Tithonia, Sundance Also interested in Acacia (pref copper/chocolate color) Asclepias tuberosa, Butterfly Weed

Sounds like a few possibilities- if daughter/grandkids moved in recently there must be no father on a continual basis. The boy may not understand that your house is no longer 'his' home. He may have witnessed/lived with a defiant/violent/drunk male in the past where this type of behavior is all he saw. Monkey See- Monkey Do. He may be ADHD. ADD. Fetal Alcohol Sydrome Disorder child. - 91-94% of ADHD/AUTISM is later diagnosed at early school age or adolescent age as FASD. ... It IS his mother who needs to set boundaries. Grandma already raised her kids- it is not her responsibility. Is the mother an alcoholic? Drugs? Physically or mentally abused and does not have the capacity herself to guide her children. You may not know these answers yet but dig. Ask grandma over or out for a hamburger. Discuss your worries with her and she may shed some light on the situation. Or not... It is not the child's fault, as much as it puts stress on you. Be proactive- lock your garage door. Lock your home doors. Ask a legal person if YOU may put a lock on the gate. Look at your County Clerk office tax assessment/file to see who legally put up the fence- you may be surprised to find out it is really your fence. Talk to your insurance company- they will have suggestions about how you can cover yourself. Most of these things are private and the neighbor's will not know of you trying to figure out the situation. Sometimes it DOES take a village to raise a child- especially a mentally affected child. I am blessed- I too have a connecting yard because two sisters and their husbands lived side by side. Then they were widows. I was able to know/visit the sister that previously owned my house for a year, before her death a few months ago at 100 years old... Her sister is my neighbor at 90, who is a wonderful woman. Don't dispair- there is a reason you are there. Figure out why as exhausting as it is right now. Chin up!

Louise, I dont usually post on this particular forum, but, your post is a very good read. Thank you for speaking out. I am a gray lover too. I dont much love the beige that is being recommended everywhere right now. I am also an aqua lover and have had for the last 60 yrs, some aqua in every room of my house. Trends are not important to me. Many many years ago, I went to school for interior decorating and limited design. It has been so many years, that what I learned is obsolete. Therefore there are a lot of things, that bother me. Lack of color in a room, bothers me, telling every one to remove things from tops of cabinets bothers me, telling everyone to remove things from countertops bother me. No, I dont mean, that junk and other things that are not useful in a kitchen should be left on countertops. I believe that kitchens should be clean, and look like someone actually uses them. My couch was bought new (and was cheap) back in 1994. Color doesnt go with anything I own anymore, but, it wont wear out, so it has a slip cover in gray. I rarely buy a magazine anymore, because, after my husband passed away, money is very tight. However, the other day I did buy one, and I found a saying in it, that explains, exactly how I feel about home decor. It says "Your home should tell a story--a story about you,. So Collect what you love and put those things out for all to see." Just maybe if many would read that saying and put it to use in their own homes, the homes we see on these forums, would look like homes people live in, rather than places, that you cant even find a table near a chair to put a cup of coffee on, and if you do, the chair is too darn uncomfortable to sit in to enjoy the coffee anyway, and the room, although beautifuly and perfectly done, is too darn boring to want to stay in for longer than 5 or 10 minutes. A house is just a house, that needs to be turned into a home, not something that is ready for a magazine photo