I have experienced subpar workmanship on our build. Surprisingly enough, the worst sub has been the plumber...followed closely by the electrician. This is why we spent months ironing out a contract (DH is an attorney so that helped.)that protects our interests and gives us the final say in whether work is "acceptable." I'm sorry that you're going through these hassles when all you want is the punch list to be finished completely and correctly. Look back at your contract to see if you or the builder calls the shots as far as "workmanship." As far as the subs talking about their pay, I had that happen one time. I told him to take it up with my GC as I could not care less how much he was making off of me (we have a fixed price build).
The stores are ridiculous. I have run into the same issues that you mentioned, but my biggest complaint is that the vendors refuse to give prices to the homeowner. It has made shopping difficult b/c I absolutely refuse to give my business to anyone who has to go through multiple channels to tell me what the bottom line is. I'm not interested in what is "customary." As far as I am concerned, vendors such as Ferguson that serve as middlemen are good for ONLY one thing...having in-stock items for spec builders. I'll take my business elsewhere. I'm sure that they dislike me as much as I dislike their business practices :) (Just kidding...I'm very respectful to them...I just don't buy from them!)
As far as getting someone to come back...that is a recurring theme in homebuilding. Punch lists work much better when you've held back money. Did you do this? If not, you'll be at the bottom of the list.
On the bright side, at least you're in your house!

True craftspeople as well as quality merchants are getting to be more and more of a rarity, although imo,it has improved somewhat over the seventies,eighties slam jamb period of home building.

If your obligations to your builder and vice versa are miniscule, i would find a reputable craftsman that is a jack of all trades type,and have him/her help finish out your project.More than likely they will work time and material, which means they will have the incentive to do things as you see fit, not hauling freight because they are piecing the job out.This route might cost you a bit more, but will be a advantage in the long run with quality done right work.

Our latest house wasn't a custom build, it was a builder's spec, but I can empathize with you. I spent about a year and half getting punch list items addressed in our previous home (which was a custom build), and have spent nearly six months trying to get this house completed. We did hold back funds this time, but it hasn't made any difference in the response time or interest in getting problems corrected.

A recent plumbing issue entailed having to do research online, calling the manufacturer and obtaining replacement parts, and telephoning/faxing the builder (& later telephoning the plumber) for three months before finally getting the plumber here.

That sort of thing has been typical, and it's why, like you, I've ended up taking on some projects myself. If we hadn't been so eager to get out of the hotel (our other house sold a lot faster than expected), we might have had better luck by delaying closing. Dh insists that we wait until after our one-year anniversary here, but once that date arrives I intend to hire a handyman to take care of my growing list of minor repairs.

We'll be moving in less than five years, and I am seriously considering buying an existing house that is 1 - 3 yrs. old next time. That should be old enough for its owners to have taken care of all of its punchlist items but new enough to not yet need anything major replaced.

BTW, something that has helped a little has been to fax or email photos of the problems, when possible, to the builder. I find they are less likely to discount my complaint if they see what I'm describing. Also, when the current builder has questioned me ("But Joe said he took care of that already!"), I insist that rather than argue with me, he come to see for himself whether or not "Joe" has done the job. He took me up on it the first time (& had to admit that "Joe" lied to him), but ever since he has backed down and promised to call the sub.

Having bought two new homes from builders (one we actually built & the 2nd was an inventory), I can tell you we had the exact same experience with not only the subs but also with the superintendent. We even PO'd the super because we wouldn't sign off on the house in the walk thru because there were a list of items that still needed to be addressed. It took calling a top guy in corporate to get things handled. He personally met with DH at the house and walked thru everything. Everything got fixed but only because DH is relentless with just cause. And the quality of the whole house we feel is average.
Luckily the new build is custom and we are working directly with the builder. His work is rated excellent by the county and it shows. We are just pre-drywall right now.

Good Luck and don't give up!

From my experience over the years with parade-of-homes type of events, where builders supposedly show off their products (multi-million $), workmanship is never perfect and often shoddy.

I think that we are used to a level of perfection in other products, like furniture, cars, appliances, most of which are made in a factory with highly automated processes, that is unrealistic to achieve in home construction. Especially for a reasonable price.

I could tell you your wrong, or I could tell you your right.

On one hand, it is very possible to get so humg up on getting everything perfect that the least little thing sets us off.

On the other hand, people in the building trades very *very* often want to get the job, get in, get out: fast, easy cheap. They will do as poor a job as they can get away with, if it means saving a little time and trouble. Especially if they have another job running at the same time...

Odds are high that some of the issues you are having fit into the first category, others in the second.

The best thing you can do is be very clear as to just what you want. Be specific: the tiles are to be set with *this* grout width, the chair rail is to be *that* high. It may even be necessary to throw out little comments like 'and if the grout doesn't turn out to be all the same color, you are going to be back here grinding it out,' said with a smile, of course. Wouldn't want to be insulting. Just let everyone know that you are paying for and expect professional quality results.

But don't let negativity become a habit. It can turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. Try to remain objective when you spot something that's not quite how you thought it would be. Save your energy for when things are unacceptible, not merely imperfect-- there really is a difference.

I second the idea of hiring someone to finish the work to your satisfaction.

Builders, GCs, watever they are, they LOVE to frame and HATE to do the finish work. The only way around this is to withold HUGE amounts towards the end of the build so they can't just shrug it off and lose some piddly amount.

Maybe it's a guy thing? Slam, bam, thank you ma'am -- and on to the bright new thing down the line.

This isn't the kitchen forum, so its not technically required to blame men for EVERYTHING.

Just so you know.

And there are some female GC's. But, gosh, oruboris, ain't this da truth? "Who wants to stick around messing with these little bits and pieces when a Whole New Challenge awaits?" I suppose that could apply to the Gabor sisters and Liz Taylor...OK, unfair on guys.

I'm just sayin, if we get to blame all the builder mistakes on testosterone, we should also blame all the owner complaints on estrogen.