My husband has done some DNA testing, Autosomal, which is where you match cousins and that is probably what he is asking you to do. The other hubs did was Y testing, trying to find males with the same surname. One thing you can do to have a little more control over the results is to 1) make sure you have the kit number and that you set up the password. I had ordered kits for two people and paid for them myself. This was so I could see the results but I also included their email addresses so they would get results and match notifications as well. Once I determined if hubs was related to them (one yes, one no), then I had them change the passwords so that I can no longer get into their kit information. Our situation is a little different than yours but again in our case, like yours, these were total strangers who agreed to help us out. ] Be aware that there are sites that the DNA information can be downloaded to sites like gedcom where people that have different companies that test can compare results. This person may then have your information out there for anyone to compare your DNA to theirs. Names are not listed, just your kit number and he would probably put his email address as the contact person. There is an option of not putting email address at all but then that limits possible matches from contacting him/you. These are questions you should discuss before you do the test. Know if he is having the results sent to him only, you only, or both. If you have them sent only to you, then you can request him sending his to you and you could be the one who sees if there is a match. The person who hubs did not match still appreciated receiving the information and we still keep in touch. The one who did match has helped confirmed our lines matching back to the GGGF in the late 1700's. The autosomal testing is not as definite. We get matches all the time but the probability is small. It has helped to find some relatives that we weren't sure of. Do you know the name of the company and type of test?

When my son's dad stopped seeing him when he was 12, I filed papers to complain that he was not seeing his son per the order. That was because I would have to get my son ready and he would be waiting to be picked up and then when his dad didn't show or called at the last minute to cancel, there were tears and an upset kid. Eventually, after a couple of hearings where his dad had been served but didn't show for the hearings to explain why he was missing his visits, the Judge granted me sole legal & physical and suspended visitation. The Judge said that if he wanted to resume visitation, his dad would have to file papers. If your current order says he can visit as long as he gives notice, then that is the order. If he gives notice, you 'legally' can't say "take me back to court" although after this long, I would! Then he would have to explain to the court why he has not seen his child in years... not something he will want to do.

Hey! ... So your situation sounds like my life 100%. Im not sure how you can find my posts but one of them is POWER STRUGGLE WITH STEP-DAUGHTER. I have the same situation minus the parents. I am lucky enough that the parents respect me and realise the BM is a sad excuse for a parent. Before I say anything I just wanted to say that it may be a really bad sign that his parents are acting the way they are... because bascially they are telling you by not allowing you over that they do not respect you, your opinions, your relationship with your bf... and I am assuming you have said or did something or voiced opinions and they disagree... What I did after I joined this forum, with the help of the posters on here is I literally removed myself from the situation... The child is 7 just like you, and she runs the show just likes yours. Now basically what I did with my fiance is sit down and say listen, I had divorced parents and my dad was strict and my mom was a push over... I explained to him that for his daughter's sake he needed to teach her discipline and give her rules and guidelines. In the beginning he thought I was a complete jerk so I stayed quiet.. Then things started unfolding on their own. She acted out at a fam BBQ and made him look like a fool, she almost drowned at a cottage we rented because he cant get control of her, she physcially hurt my god daugher (who is 3 btw), she ruined a weekend trip away because she started crying again in the middle of a show because the attn wasnt all on her, and his own MOTHER will not take her anywhere anymore because she is out of control and drove her absolutely insane on a weekend trip... these are just some of the things and this was what i can remember all in a 1-2 month span...And we have her every OTHER weekend. Bascially then, he came to me and said listen I really dono what to do. I am so lost. And my response was well I'm not an expert but I can see what you can't because I am not the parent and she is SCREAMING for some guidelines and rules. I told him straight up if you do not get her under control and respecting you then when she is a teen I feel extremely sorry for you and her. As you said she adores me too. But I have had some things happen to my in the last little while as well.. One of my posts was about a day that she was being bullied at daycare so I kept her at home that day before she went back to BM and she did not listen to a single word that came out of my mouth the entire day. She has ZERO respect for elders, and MINUS respect for her father and in turn me. So now the rule is I do not take her anywhere without him. And he is giving the discipline... I like you, am trying to help him and her... but as the posters on here will never fail to remind you,.... your not the mom, you have no say. When this child's BM doesnt care for her in appropriate ways, I can't do anything about it. So now I just let him handle everything. When his BM freaks out and calls and acts like a 2 yr old. I just leave the room and let it go on. Because as much as you want to lose your mind on him, her whatever just remember NONE of this is your problem. Enjoy him, and YOUR relationship. And enjoy the little one when shes around, help her with her homework, cook together do fun stuff. But if he doesn't discipline her and she drives you nuts... guess what, shes NOT yours so you have the choice that you can leave. It really doesn't sound like the situation will change if he doesn't think there is a problem. And him constantly tellin you she is # 1 is telling you that whatever YOU have to say means F*%& all and you may as well give up saying anything. He is not listening. He is listening however to what his parents say (who seem to be quacks) by the way. I would suggest taking some time and thinking about the situation. Forget about the daughter for a moment and his family and really think about what exactly it is that you two have together... Is there even anything there? do you even do anything together or have fun or is it all based on HIS parents HIS kid and HIS problems with HIS BM. Just remember at the end of the day if he doesnt respect your opinions that what exactly do you have together? The best of luck, Dont forget to update us here lol I always wonder whats happening in the poster's lives after they post and get responses haha!

Linelle - yes, I would suggest 23andme. Ancestry.com gives you: * ethnicity estimate (percentages) * DNA family matches (it will show their nickname, an estimated range you may be related, their family tree if uploaded, their general ethnic background and if you select a match, you can then see which people match both of you) * DNA circles (this matches a group of related people to a common ancestor using your inputted family trees) They are slowing improving functionality and adding features. 23andme.com gives you: * ethnicity estimate (percentages -- you can also view where and on what chromosomes the ethnic background comes from -- for exmaple, one could see that Chromosome 4 is half chinese, half japanese --- finally, if you have a parent test, you can view which percentages you got from that parent and then which from the other parent) * DNA family matches (it will show their nickname, an estimated range you may be related,....there is the ability to electively share genomes to see where you match exactly on the chromosomes.... , you can view a family tree if uploaded and/or view surnames and places family lived, if uploaded.... The matches also tell you the specific amount of segments you match on and the overall percentage of your DNA that matches.) * Haplogroup information -- essentially the origins of your maternal line, if you're female, or maternal and paternal, if male * Neandethal percentage * Countries of ancestry .. as reported by your DNA matches * tools to compare data between or among genomes you have shared with you..... * access to your raw DNA file to possibly use on other sites (ancestry might give you this but I haven't noticed.) If you don't want to play around with the info much and strictly want percentages of DNA composition, I would still choose 23andme as the presentation is nicer. :)