I have never actually run into a real gardener who was selfish, rather the opposite. I have a neighbor friend who is the only real gardener (by which I mean personally hands on, and slightly obsessed) close to my house, and we are constantly giving each other plants - even though we both have the same problem, namely "no more space"! Large pots have been proliferating along the edges of our patios & driveways... Every time I try to root roses I have extras, but the most plants I seem to have to give away are Iris, every 4-5 years when I get around to separating them. I usually end up by throwing many of them on our green debris pile, where of course some of them root and grow happily! I have had some luck even with my non-gardening neighbors, getting them to get their "gardeners" to put in plants that are suitable to our climate, like Mediterranean bulbs like sparaxis, instead of tulips which do not return. I did notice that when we moved in and planted a large area (half a block long by about 10 feet wide) out by the street that had been gravel with ground cover roses, many of our neighbors' front gardens got a lot more planted and pretty over the next 12 months. It's catching! So, we can spread the joy of having pretty gardens by example sometimes, which is neat.

DLM, I think that you will never be sorry to have kept them. To keep them from being seen as "clutter" after you're gone, get them them properly packed and stored and then pick the right person to have custody of them for the next generation. It may be one of your DIL, or if you have nieces or nephews, perhaps one of them. I'd choose someone who appreciates family stories, and who would be a good - and generous with access -custodian of shared family history. In my DH's family when I got engaged there was a small family gathering,(mostly female) and the wedding dresses and some other family wedding memorabilia were sort of the organizing theme for the party. It was a great way to meet my some of my in-laws-to-be and feel included in my new family's story, Since my engagement diamond was re-set from an family piece, everyone wanted to see it in my new ring. It was a lovely tradition and I plan to do it when my nephew finally settles on a bride - even if it seems a bit old fashioned. What else is an elderly aunt for? Many times I hear people express a bit of envy that in my family and in my DH's we have so many "heirlooms" from generations gone by. Some things have by sheer old age have now become valuable, but most still have only modest monetary value. But they all tell the stories of the family - sometimes in modest circustances and sometimes not. Each succeeding generation chose to take care of these items and pass them on,probably always at some cost of in terms of time, trouble, or even perhaps the forgone value of selling them. This speaks volumes about the values cherished and passed down in our families. And that alone is worth the effort preserving these things as totems of the clan. Anyone can start one's own chain of family hierlooms, today. It has to start somewhere. L.

From Grandma, "Don't creoss bridges till you get there!", related to worrying about something that may well never happen. Worrying doesn't change anything, anyway. Love your neighbour as yourself. (But ... not your neighbour's wife). ole joyful

The dress arrived from Macy's today, but it must be mislabeled, because it is much smaller than the size 6 from TJ Maxx! Also, the manufacturer's hang tag was not attached. I'm guessing that it had been returned, because it was mislabeled, then they sent it on to me. The hem is so tight it was hard to walk in. I measured the circumference of each dress's hem, and the size 6 was 54 inches, while the supposed size 10 is only 44 inches! So I'm going to keep the size 14, and take it in a bit at the waist, because it fits and looks good. The pleating makes it really adaptable. I'm kind of happy that the dress from Macy's is wrong, because it was $50 more than the one from TJ Maxx.