"I always thought you were not supposed to put where a person is registered on an invitation. And especially not ask for gifts. But oh well." The entire point of a baby or wedding shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with presents, so putting the registry information in with the invitation is typically considered appropriate. It's events that are NOT specifically oriented toward the gifts, such as the wedding itself or a graduation party, where open reference to gifts is inappropriate. Did anyone else think a shower invitation from the cousin's daughter-in-law, whom the OP has met maybe three times, is casting the "gimme" net just a tad far out? Maybe if OP and cousin were very close friends, sure, but good grief! My standard shower gift is onesies. Lots and lots of plain white onesies, because my baby brother (now changing his own kids' diapers, how time flies!) could easily go through a dozen in a day. Budget is pretty much always around $25 unless it's a really close friend, because that's what MY budget can afford. If you shop right you can get a lot of onesies for $25! (I think my record is 10 6-packs that had been put on clearance for $2.50 a bag, down from $10, because the packages were ripped up. So I took them out of the packages, folded them nicely into a pretty box, and went merrily off to the shower - where I got in a viciously polite whispered argument with the host because I refused to play the "baby food tasting" game *retch*). Kiddo often outgrows them well before they wear out anyway. No one I know has done the "clothesline" although I do think it would be pretty cool to do a clothesline specifically to donate to the local women's shelter, and put that right on the invitation; I do find it very ironic that my lower-middle-class family ("you might be a redneck if...") thinks wishing wells are tacky. Diapers can be tricky, unless a specific type is noted on the registry, because of that whole cloth-vs-disposable thing. There are some verrrrry strong feelings on that subject! I do appreciate registries, both for weddings and baby showers, if I'm not very close to the recipient because it tells me what the recipients are interested in - I don't necessarily need to purchase something off the list, but if I see 20 Winnie the Pooh items on a baby shower list, that tells me that Mum is diggin' Pooh and might appreciate some mint-condition vintage Pooh books to read to her child or decorate a shelf in the nursery. It also does indicate to me what's NOT really welcome. For instance, if I see on the registry that everything the parents chose is either khaki, sage, and/or cream (such as at the last shower I attended), it's a pretty good bet that the parents are unlikely to be overly enthusiastic over primary colors or the old pink/blue routine.

I agree with this "like any other gift giving occasion. How much you spend is a function of your means and you closeness" but would add, that is it also a function of the means of the recipient. I might give a very impractical cashmere baby blanket (albeit washable) or baby china to an affluent couple. For a couple with very limited means, I would choose something very practical ... even diapers (a lot of them clearly). For any occasion where someone is registered, 80% or so of what I give is from the registry, with the other 20% a total surprise based on my own ideas (like gift giving of yore). And yes, a baby book, pref a board book, and not one of the top 10 most popular.

Grumpy young woman here. I dislike showers. Honestly, the very idea of a baby shower has always seemed offputting to me. Why am I buying your baby stuff again? And if I do, I just grudingly send the gift and forgo the shower. Same thing with bridal showers. The inane games, the precious weird food, and the utter tedium of sitting and watching a grown person opening gifts forever. Not fun. I stopped going to all non family showers years ago. HOWEVER, I appreciate the fact that lots people enjoy them and the tradition,especially the mother/bride to be. I am no help regarding activities that may make it fun. I wish you luck with that. Better yet,maybe have NO silly games and make it a fun party. I think I (and many others) would enjoy showers if they did not include some pushy person or persons INSISTING that everyone take part in the games and activities instead of letting people enjoy the company. The showers in my family have always been game free,with great food and no sitting and watching people opening gifts. They were enjoyable get togethers.As Kathy mentioned, lots of people make requests for books with special messages written in them,including the last mother to be that sent me an invite to her shower. (I did not go, but I sent her a giant box of diapers, another of wipes, and 6 or 7 different baby shampoos, soap, etc. ) I did not send the book though. This was a coworker and since it is unlikely I will be close with or even have much if any contact with the child, i was unsure what message to write. My only advice would be to at least make sure the food is good. Its the least one can do for people who show up and participate in such an event. I have never had good food at a shower,except those that i did the cooking for. ;) Maybe have a raffle for a pretty gift basket or some other useful door prize rather than some cutesy trinket for everyone that likely will go to waste. I was going through a closet the other day and came upon a stash of useless cutesy garbage that i got at showers. In the trash it went. And with all things in life, I believe that the more pink one can have around,the better. A baby shower for a girl seems the perfect excuse. And sparkles. Never enough sparkles. And hearts. Pink sparkly hearts always bring a smile. To me anyway. I have seen very cute wreaths made of pacifiers and bottles that were cute. The aforementioned coworker dipped into MY stash of mod podge that I use for my halloween bottles to create very pretty glittery bottles that she turned into centerpieces for her shower. Is it an autumn affair??? Paint some pumpkins pink! Use them to mark the house. Instead if tying balloons to the mailbox, tie em to the pink pumpkins. Or, if you know the babies name, use tiny pumpkins. Paint them pink and then paint her name on them, one letter each pumpkin. Bottom line, pink.

You guys are the kindest people I know. I am beaming reading these comments. My daughter went home today (with the leftover cake) and I just posted the backdrop and blocks on our community giveaway page. Hopefully someone else can put them to good use. Also, I could not have done all this without my co-hosts. Especially the one who owns a printing business who ensured that all the packages were sent out in time. In this case, it takes a villiage to throw a shower. ETA: It was snapped up in under a minute on the site by someone who is planning a shower for next month. Happy all around.