I have two girls: 2 and 4-1/2. My 4yo has been helping me in the garden since she was 1 year or so...I planted a cherry tomato bush for her and she loved loved to pick them and eat them one after another. She always liked to hold the hose. By the time she was two she had learned to dig for worms, and we talked a lot about being gentle with them, holding them only for a minute, and then putting them back into the ground and covering them with dirt. She likes to help dig, sprinkle seeds, use the hose, and this year we started two worm bins. Both kids really enjoyed shredding/dipping/wringing/fluffing the newspaper and gathering leaves to make a home for the worms. The double-watering-can idea is a great one - we have lots of scuffles over the hose, and the older one likes to water the younger one with it, which rarely ends well. Tomorrow we're getting watering cans! Last year I planted a sunflower house with all greystripe sunflowers. It produced over a hundred awesome flowers, but I wish I had planted them closer together (more than 1 per foot) because the leaves never got close enough to make thick walls. So this year I went crazy with seed catalogs and bought 10+ varieties of sunflowers in all colors, sizes, heights, etc. There's one called "American Giant" which is supposed to be 16+ feet tall. I'm going to try to make a better house, and they can help me dig and sprinkle. My 2yo now demands that we dig for worms whenever we set food in the back yard, and if she finds one, the other one comes running. If she finds a slug, she picks it up and says, "Nasty slug get me!" (trans. "Nasty slug tried to get me." Today she found a small rock and thought it was a slug. When I told her it was a rock, she said, "Dirty rock get me!" Two years ago we planted strawberries given to us by a friend with a surplus of plants, so we've talked about how flowers turn to fruit, and how the bees and such do their part. In the summer the girls beg to go and check for strawberries and raspberries every day. These have never made it back to the house. :-) The thing I struggle with the most is when they spill something valuable - like when the two year old poured the bucket of organic fertilizer I had mixed into the grass. And last year when I had my back turned for a few minutes turning soil over, they opened every package of beans (probably about 2+ cups total) and mixed them into their tiny bucket with dirt. 0_o So we just sprinkled them all over and had a mixed bean jungle later that year. I constantly remind them to please not step onto the dirt that I have just planted things in (esp. the potato bed!!) and of course they do so I just try to remind myself that kids who love being outdoors and learn that gardening is fun are more important that a reduced potato yield. (Duh!) They love looking at seed racks, and so I usually let my 4yo pick out a package of flower seeds. There's an old cement double-basin sink in our backyard that we filled with dirt and last year she put in anemones and nasturtiums. This year she picked out sweet peas. We got a flower-seed catalog, so just for kicks and giggles I gave them a packet of sticky notes and they used up the whole package marking what they would like to plant in the garden. Most days they end up completely soaked and/or muddy, and I've learned to send them out barefoot. As of right now there are no fewer than 7 pairs of shoes drying on the back porch. We're still working on helping me weed, since they can't (yet) tell the difference between a weed and a plant that we want to keep. They do have their own buckets and shovels, but even today they eschewed those for the "real" tools. My 2yo grabbed the 6-ft shovel and my 4yo grabbed the rake and they went to town on the newly planted bed of kale and chard. I've discovered that unless the sprinkler is on, they usually just want to do what I'm doing, and the hardest part is keeping up with them (i.e. digging a hole fast enough for the seeds they're dropping). Gardening with kids is an adventure for me and them!

Just be sure you stop it now. My nephew was really good at escaping when he was 4. He would sneak out of the house and took the car keys with him and would turn the lights on or the radio and once started it. Meanwhile his parents would be sleeping and didn't have a clue. He knew enough to push a chair in from the dining room and to unlock the door. They wouldn't lock the deadbolt because they felt they didn't need to (huh?). One day he left the house and got in the neighbor guy's car and he caught him and returned him home. Then two years ago he got his 2 year old sister out of her crib and packed a bag for her and they were off to get mommy at work while their dad was sleeping (he was working night shift and his wife worked during the day and refused to pay for a sitter). They live across from a school and a teacher saw these two little kids walking down the street in hardly any clothes. Neither of them had on shirts or socks or shoes. They took them in the school and called the cops to report missing children. BIL woke up sometime later and realized they were gone. After a while he called the police and found out they were across the street in the school. BIL and SIL laughed about it later that day. It wasn't funny! They were walking down the street and were following the route they took to get their Mom and the nexty street they would have went on is VERY busy. Do whatever it takes to keep that child in the house. We just have one of those eye hooks on the screen doors and that was all we had to worry about over the summer. Shane didn't try to escape like some of your children, thank goodness! I would also try punishing this child to get him to realize it's not okay to try to break out of the house. He's old enough to learn. ~Leslie~

I am not being used as a chauffer or babysitter. I offered... it was my decision. I saw it as helping the two of them see each other more often. But I guess then I didn't realize the harm that it could be doing. As for mom, she is kind of a strange parent. It seems as though a lot of you women have a strong maternal instinct and wouldn't even let your DD SM pick your daughters up. However, BM has asked if I could pick up her daughter (we meet in the middle of our houses) because it was more convenient for her to drop her off at that time. If we don't accommodate her schedule she often tells us then she won't be able to drop her off at all. She's never around to receive her daughter either. Most of the time dad brings her with her grandparents because mom isn't around. This weekend was a perfect example. Mom told us she would receive her daugther at 6pm on Sunday. She called and told my BF that she left town and wouldn't be able to pick her up until Monday sometime, and that either she would pick her up with dad at his work or mine. HAH. So dad didn't go to work in the morning because mom decided she had better things to do than pick up her daughter, and he ended up bringing his daughter to her grandparents because mom wasn't answering her phone. Sometimes she leaves to the beach for the weekend and decides not to come back until Wednesday, leaving her daughter with her parents, and no one to bring her to school. Not very motherly if you ask me. As for our relationship, it's fine. I am not getting involved in baby momma drama... we see each other, say hello, everything's cordial, then we talk about the girl, say goodbye no name calling as far as I know etc. I never say a bad word about her mother to anyone.. ever. As for my bf we met 11 years ago in the US. I came here to Mexico to be with him a year ago. Maybe I use the term soulmate in a way you don't understand. I know I could find someone else if I wanted to. I don't. I'm here to stay with this man and this girl. We may not be married but we are committed to each other as if we were. We are talking marriage... and it will happen some day. What else... oh to answer a question dad and mom divorced when daughter was 2.5. Sooo... 1 year and half before I showed up into the picture. Their relationship sounds like it was verbally and emotionally abusive, probably from both parts but she also sounds like she was physically abusive towards him... but never to their daughter. Dad never had a serious girlfriend after that before me. I don't think dad ever introduced any women to his daughter before me either. But I don't know that for sure. As for the bed thing, I know. Dad and daughter used to sleep in the same bed before I arrived. I think it's weird. So when I came into the picture and she was over on the weekends, dad had daughter sleep in the same bed as us. I put a quick stop to that. NOT OK. I expressed to him that it's uncomfortable and he talked with her, though I don't think he really understands why it's a problem. He sometimes asks if she can sleep with us still... I don't understand why. As for this weekend little girl was throwing up and had a bad temperature in the middle of the night so she came into the bed in the early morning so dad could keep an eye on her. I didn't think it was inappropriate in that case. I don't want to be an in your face sm. I honestly feel like dad is trying to force the situation and really I was over doing the favors just to try and get to know the girl and make it easier for them to see each other... to be nice. I know that I need to back off now. Anyways I left and did my own thing on Saturday and part of Sunday and when I came back things were much nicer. I think the girl does like me when she wants to see me, but I was around too often and intruding on daddy daughter time. Today she was very talkative to me, sweet... gave me a little kiss goodbye and they left. I think I found my answer. I agree with the playing house thing being a rush, I'm not moving out now... so I have to find other ways to fix this. To answer someone's question it is not the house of his previous relationship... and when I say house I mean apartment.. a small one. I think it's kind of hard to stay out of each others business when we are all there... leaving is probably necessary to give them proper alone time.

The fruit trees should produce at least a few fruits by the fourth year. That's really when the trees have become semi-mature. This could mean you will have to wait for summer next year (because the first year does not count if it was not planted in the spring). If you still do not see any fruit appear on any of your fruit trees by next year, something is likely wrong. Maybe you are giving your trees too much fertilizer? That can sometimes delay fruiting. Also where is your location? If you are in climate zones 8-10, the trees might not be getting enough chill (and if that is the case there are certain things that can be done to help counteract this). Or your area might have experienced late chill this year, which prevented fruit from forming. Are the crabapples sending out blossoms at the same time as the apples? Have you seen any bees visiting the blossoms? How close are the pear trees to each other? If they are more than 20-30ft apart, that may be making pollination difficult in the early years.