irish girl. You wrote "My main mechanic found nothing wrong with the car but said that the cat. converter was hot so it must be plugged and he sent me to the guy who welded my muffler to have it changed. They changed it but did not believe that that was the problem. That cost $110.00. It didn't help" First of all, a hot catalytic convertor is one that is working. If it's glowing RED HOT, then it's overworking because there is a problem in the engine allowing too much air, and unburned fuel into the exhaust. On top of that, find one good shop and tech and stick with him/her. Stop ping-ponging around. Your only compounding your own misery. You wrote" The other day the check engine light came on and I went to Auto Zone who told me it was the O2 sensor just before the convertor." Looks like you fell for the "free diagnosis" and you got what you paid for, an O2 sensor that cannot be proven you actually needed now. You wrote. "My mechanic changed that, changed the plugs and fixed my brakes and rotors for a grand total of $289.00 and my car is still wanting to stall or stalling." Don't lump in your brake work as part of the total you have spent to fix the stalling symptom. They have nothing to do with each other. Treat them as if the brakes were replaced on a different car. You wrote, and now we are concentrating on the stalling. " It stalls or tries to at lights, in drive-through's and now it stalls if I'm going along at a pretty good speed and stop. I told my main mechanic it was still bad and he said that he would clean the throttle body for me that that could be it." That is a plausible answer to the stalling, a good tech can prove if this service is required, and can perform it easily. It's also possible the symptom can be caused by something else affecting the air entering the engine at low RPM's, and the computers response to correct this is exactly the same as a dirty throttle body, and that is for the computer to command the IAC to open wider than normal. This would be a "cut a tree down to see the forest step" in some cases. Sort of once you find something that can cause a particular problem, you stop looking until you prove the problem still exists. You wrote" The mechanic who changed the converter hooked a machine up to my car drove it around with that thing hooked up to it. He said that all of the sensors are working and things are firing or whatever and he seems to think that the tune-up should have been taken further. He suggests that the boots and coils and that plastic thing that holds it all should be changed." Some more specific information would be invaluable here. I can guess what I think he is feeling in the car, and that is still a missfire. The Quad 4's are prone to having trouble with the coil cover and spark plug boots. If there is a problem there, the plugs should be changed again! The reason the plugs need changed again is the boots could be carbon tracked, and allowing the spark to leak right down along the outside of the spark plug, where the boot contacts it. This causes the new spark plug to also carbon track, and it will in turn result in a missfire, and damage the new boot starting the cycle all over again. "I'm running out of money. What is your opinion?" One shop, one tech for everything. Stop ping-ponging. Find someone that can not only diagnose and repair this, but will communicate exactly what they are going to do and why. The O2 sensor replacement is a clue IMO, to an air/fuel ratio issue. This can cause excessive spark demand under certian conditions, and contribute to the coil cover/ spark plug boot problem. There is no more expensive way to attempt to fix one of today's cars than to pull a code and throw a part at it. That's the limit of the ability of a parts store employee when it comes to diagnosing a check engine light. Just because you pull a lean exhaust "O2 sensor" code from the computer, that does not condem the O2 sensor. If you had showed up here with an O2 sensor in your hand telling me Auto Zone had diagnosed it, I would have sent you away. I definately would not have just installed it, because that is not enough proof to me that you really need it.

First, I don't live on my PC, I was away all weekend. So your not getting a run around. Second, you have NOT described the problem sufficiently for me to know whats wrong with your car. One thing is certain though, I do NOT suspect the torque convertor (a transaxle component) based on the pieces of information that you have provided. Now that is not a diagnosis that is saying it's not bad, I'll repeat, I don't suspect it's the problem. But there is a definate problem with getting you to verbalize in a way that allows me to "feel" what your car is doing without me having first hand experience driving it while it's acting up. You cannot blame a shop, a technician, or someone on this board, be they a technician or not for your failure to be able to communicate to us(me) exactly what your car is doing. FWIW, it's quite likely the problem with your car is engine control related. But before I type out a series of questions in order to attempt to draw from you what I would need to know in order to even try and figure out whats going on, you have to agree to answer them in a yes, or no fashion. Plus then add details as you feel necessary, without trying to decide in advance what you think the problem with the car is.

The top of the rad being very hot, but getting cold within the first 5 inches tells me you have little to no coolant flow. Was this a shop you took your car too or not? One not to uncommon mistake that the person doing the work could have done is he may have accidentally installed the thermostat backwards, or it could simply be defective. The thermostats job is to control the coolant flow through the radiator once the engine reaches a minimum temperature. Another not so common but potential issue could be that the wrong pump was used and its impeller is being spun backwards. Some pumps are driven clockwise, and some are counter-clockwise depending on how the belt runs the pump. Parts suppliers today are much better about not making this mistake which a mechanic would not easily catch because the impeller isn't always visible. Lastly, the head gaskets were replaced, but were the heads sent out to be tested by a machinist while they were off? The original failure could have caused one or both of the heads to crack or warp, and they might have needed to be replaced. If they have simply warped, they should have been machined back flat while they were off. (which actually requires a valve job too) Either way, cracked or warped you may still be getting combustion gasses into the cooling system and that can be preventing proper coolant flow through the radiator.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.