Grandma's can be hard to buy for. Mine sure was. We bought tons of 'stuff' for her over the years. She in later years said just give me something I don't have to feed, walk, dust or worry about keeping safe. And I don't like perfume or clothing that needs dry cleaned. We found she didn't like shirts that went over her head or slippers. We started to give her cookies and dried fruit and candy (which she loved to share with the little kids) We gave her calenders and photos and anything home made she loved. I found out later she just loved the jams I made and only brought them out with guests so she could say her granddaughter made it. She loved an old lumpy pillow my cousin made her when she was ten. And another cousin made her a horrible drawing that she framed and hung over her bed. My sister made her some bread once and again she froze it and served it to guests for a year. My son made her a cutting board one year, she never used it as a cutting board, she didn't want to muss it up, but showed everyone the wonderfull board when ever she had company. At time time of her death we all found the homemade stuff in her home but the other expensive stuff was missing or stuffed in a box. Except the bottle of really yukky bubble bath one of my cousins gave her as a child. She knew he worked a week of mowing lawns etc. to earn it. Maybe the framed art work isn't such a bad idea if could be taken to copy plase and shrunk down to make fidge magents or a keychain or something. I love the idea of a photo on a sweat shirt or tote bag. Maybe fill the bag with her favorite coffee or cookies or ????

Last yr. I made my g'kids calendars with pics of them & our activities tog from the year...but instead of just doing a pic, I printed off "coloring sheets" ... you can do this in some software programs ...and then I took it to a copyshop where I had the plastic circular spinal binding put on...think it was like $3 each or something like that. Anyway, the "coloring-book pics" are kind of funny cause they turn cartoonish...& the kids enjoyed looking at them...as well as the adults. Just an idea...you have a good one, too...altho I don't know if the 4 yr or 7 yr can appreciate how good your idea is! Time flies for us it seems but 2-l/2 wks. until Christmas is an ungodly amt. of time for my 9 yr. old GS! Of if my 12 yr old GD had a $25 shopping spree coming in May, I don't think she could stand the wait! Good luck with your project! Jeanne S. (if you do Photoshop, you can get an idea of what your pic would look like color book like). Jeanne S.

Giving a gift is something you do because you WANT to, and I think it says a lot that your DD feels comfortable asking you to take her shopping to get her stepsister and dad a gift. I also understand why you reminded her to get SM something, it teaches her to think of others feelings, etc. though I'm not sure I would push much if she said she didn't want to get certain people gifts if she had an acceptable reason. As for your family, when they family say something like that, I'd tell them that I understand what they mean but if you stoop to dad's level and refuse to take your DD shopping, the only person that will be hurt by it is your DD. Besides, you are teaching her to be a better person. I wouldn't worry so much about showing her whether you are accepting of the situation, etc. You are showing her that you care about HER feelings, despite your own. I used to take my exBF's kids shopping for their mother on her birthday, mother's day & Christmas. I would also save the things they made in school for "mom" and put them in a box so when she rolled into town once a year, she had all the stuff they made her over the year, along with school pictures & presents. I didn't like nor dislike her. She wasn't around to know much about her except she chose drugs & her boyfriend over sticking around to raise her kids, but the kids wanted to give mom that stuff & it meant something to them so that is what I did for them. Now with SD, it's a totally different scenario. In the early years, I took her shopping for her mom. I also got BF's kids and SD's sister things too for Christmas. I made BM a scrapbook with pictures from all of SD's Christmases. It was my attempt to be friendly with BM. As things progressively got worse with BM & SD over the years, I stopped shopping for BM but still bought BF's kids things. I stopped shopping for SD's sister after she wrote nasty things about me on a social network. and this year, I have decided to give SD one gift for me & let DH do the rest of the shopping for SD. AS for taking SD shopping for her mom or anyone else, DH has always said no but didn't care if I did it. Of course, I agree that if the child earns money, they can spend it how they choose. I offered SD a job over the summer & she said she wanted to but never did it. Since now she isn't talking to me, she can't exactly discuss payment for chores with me and DH is not interested in paying her to do anything... he can't even get her to do her basic chores. Amber is right, you are teaching her something so valuable and hopefully your family will come to see it. On the other hand, if your DD asks dad to take her shopping for you but he refuses, then he will have to deal with the consequences... and your daughter will know who is cooperative and who is not.

Maybe send a note in the basket along with phone numbers of the wives and or any of the other staff willing to go along with her to an appointment, out for just a coffee if she needs to talk, or a few hours of child care if she happens to have children, (no age was given ). She might have a job around the house that she has never had to do with winter coming and might be overwhelmed enough to overlook it right now. Any of the male members want to step up with a coupon booklet maybe?..One Snow shovelling, one emergency call if the car acts up...you get the idea.... even if she just needs someone to ask and figure out how to do it yourself deal ...who knows someone might make a very close friend of the deal!! Right now she need some. She may never take you up on them but I am sure the thought would be appreciated.