With all the digital imagery posted on this forum, we have enough to develop an image section on our FAQs and then some, probably. There is a search feature on the site, so you can research plant names, butterfly names, etc. that can help you if you're focusing on a specific butterfly or plant. Other ID websites include Bug Guide and What's That Bug (both are great websites to visit). Moth Photographers has great photos of eggs, larvae, host plants, and adult moths, if you lean that way. I'm kind of getting away from recommending the Butterfly and Moth website sponsored by the University of Montana (?) anymore, because they have little information that is current, and their photos are not the best on the web anymore. But, if you want their list of butterflies and information (if available), you might want to try it out at butterfliesandmoths.org. Sometimes you can Google "Minnesota Butterflies" and get a lot of specific information on what butterflies use as host plants and nectar plants in that state from people who have observed and/or raised butterflies. I read lots of people's blogs on the net about certain butterflies because you can glean little bits of info that you don't get from books, based on that person's experience. That said, you started with a really good book in the Binoculars series by Glassberg. I have that, too. I bought mine at Abe Books and got it as a used book, but for $7 instead of $25 or whatever the new book price was. It's in great condition. Judy and Wayne's book is outstanding if you want to see the entire life cycle of specific butterflies. They painstakingly produced this book through raising butterflies from egg to adult butterfly. It is great for learning to ID eggs and early instar cats. I still have a hard time knowing what early instar cats of many species look like, because they vary substantially from the later instars. If you look at a 1st instar and a 5th instar for comparison, often you wouldn't realize it's the same species. My next purchase is going to be Caterpillars of the Eastern Forests (David Wagner). There may be butterfly books available specifically addressing Minnesota butterflies as well. I have one for "Butterflies of Kansas, Oklahoma, and North Texas" that I use frequently. However, it does not have images of the caterpillar, egg, pupae, anything like that. So, it's hard to rely on just one book to encompass everything one wants or needs in regard to butterflies. Yes - this forum is a great source, too! Welcome and hope you'll join in the fun! Susan

We have dogs - he knew I had inside dogs when we dated that I was not willing to part with. The SD cant stand that fact and has used it as a reason to not come to our house. Her children have all had asthma attacks, some after being around the dogs, but many many others from other triggers - no dogs around. She has used that to say that we have chosen our dogs over the safety of their children because I refuse to part ways with my dogs. We put them outside if anyone comes over - but that is not good enough - they have insisted we get them new homes! for someone that may have come to visit 3 times a year, it was not a reasonable request. If they lived with me and my dogs were causing health concerns, it would be totally different. This battle has gone on for 1 1/2 year and now we dont do any holiday or family get togethers at our house at all - so imagine me hauling food and presents for 20+ people over to someone elses house to accomdate Christmas. I don't have any thoughts or advice about the rest of the post, but I do have thoughts/advice about this part. I have asthma myself and I know many people with asthma. It's very possible you may be underestimating the seriousness of this issue for your husband's grandchildren. Your stepdaughter is not handling this the way I would, if I were in her shoes (at least that's what I think). If I were your stepdaughter, I would not insist or even ask that you get rid of the dogs. But I would not be visiting your home, probably ever, if it caused my children to have asthma attacks. Even if the attacks were just sometimes. I would kindly and pleasantly let you know that was the issue, then it would be up to you and your husband to decide whether to keep the dogs or not. I would not be attending family/holiday get-togethers at your home, and I would very much expect that you and your husband would be not only willing but also understanding enough to haul your presents and food to someone else's home without complaint in order to prevent my children from having an asthma attack. Her children have all had asthma attacks, some after being around the dogs, but many many others from other triggers - no dogs around. Exactly. They have asthma attacks from dogs (sometimes) but also from other things. Asthma is probably a constant battle for them. There are so many places their children have to go that cause problems for them, why would you insist that they come to your home when you could visit them instead? We put them outside if anyone comes over - but that is not good enough No, putting the dogs outside is not good enough. Please, please for the sake of your relationship with your husband and his family, educate yourself about asthma. Here is some information about pet dander and asthma from the web site about.com: In fact, it is dander or the proteins in skin flakes, urine, feces, saliva and hair that trigger your asthma symptoms. Removing your pet from the home and avoiding contact with the pet is the most effective way to decrease exposure to animal dander. A "trial removal" is not recommended as it may take as many as 20 weeks following removal for allergen levels to fall to levels similar to those of homes without pets. If you do remove the pet from the home, make sure you thoroughly clean all bedding products, floors, carpets and other surfaces where dander may collect. If pet removal is going to produce depression, crying and gnashing of teeth for you or your child, making the pet an "outside only" animal is a partial solution, but will not fully decrease your exposure to animal dander If you and your husband insist on keeping the dogs and that your grandchildren visit you, then you probably ARE choosing the dogs over your husband's grandchildren's safety. . We have dogs - he knew I had inside dogs when we dated that I was not willing to part with It's very possible your husband didn't know himself what a huge issue this would be. Many, many people, like yourself, think simply putting the dogs outside is good enough. However, now you both know that it is a problem, and it's up to the two of you to decide how to deal with this problem. I don't think your stepdaughter should insist that you give up the dogs. However, if you were my stepmother I would be very, very, very, very, very angry if I had told you what a problem this causes and you continued to dismiss it. Very angry. Really, really, really angry. I'd be angry and I certainly, absolutely would think you were not the life's companion for my father I hoped he'd have. I just want him to stand up to his ASD and tell her that I am here to stay, deal with it, accept it, and quit being so petty over stuff. Your husband's grandchildren have asthma that is sometimes triggered by pet dander. They are his grandchildren, they SHOULD be there to stay, you should deal with it and accept it and do what you can to minimize the impact of your pets on your grandchildren's health. I can certainly understand why you'd rather have your beloved pets with you every day rather than get rid of them over someone who only visits 3 times a year. However, you are minimizing and dismissing valid health concerns your step daughter has. As her children's mother, it's her responsibility to advocate for their health in a situation like yours. She is not being petty, she is being a responsible mother. I hope this helps you to see the other side of the issue. I hope you and your husband can find some resolution to this issue. The only other thing I would add is that sometimes certain things will cause problems for me and other times those same things won't. It's not like cat dander (one of the things I'm allergic to) will always cause problems for me. Sometimes it will, sometimes it won't. But if my threshold is low (and I don't always know when that will be), then cat dander causes a problem for me, ranging in severity. So please don't be dismissive of the issue if your husband's grandchildren don't always have asthma attacks due to the dogs. Even if the problem is intermittent, it's still an issue. That's not your stepdaughter being petty, it's the reality of her children's life. She MUST deal with that on behalf of her children, she has no choice. But YOU do have a choice. Good luck whatever you decide.

I don't recall anyone saying you are a bad mother. You're son seems to be doing fine. Which brings us to your stepson, which I assume is why you picked a stepparent forum to vent on. Your expectations for a toddler are too high. Your son may be very bright. And is a year older than your stepson. You cannot compare them. My son is almost 4 and JUST mastered the potty. All on his own. We have been fighting potty training for almost 2 years. It's not something you can force. It comes when they are ready. And if you are frustrated, potty training willbe harder on the kid. You say that he got everything he wanted from grandma as if he is manipulating people before he was even two. This is what makes you 'seem' to have such high expectations. What kind of training did this daycare center require of you? Are you licensed? Do you have your teaching certification? You say you school him from 11-12 every day. Do you realize that if he were in a daycare setting, he would not be doing the same 'schooling' that your 3 yr old would be doing? You just seemed to have this expectation that he was supposed to live with you and that you snap your fingers and BAM he is a new kid ... With all these skills. This stuff takes time. My daughter is highly advanced. At 10 she is taking a year older classes BUT she didn't talk until she was well over 2. I feared she had a hearing problem. The doctor said to give her time.. In time she started talking and she has yet to shut up. I highly suggest you seek a doctor's help. Not once have you mentioned that he has even been evaluated by a pediatrician only by you and your 'over 25 years of age, 5 years in a daycare center, 3 years of being a mom' experience and honey, that does not qualify you as a professional. I think this poor boy has been through so much in his short life, I'm willing to bet you are going to have a long life of learning struggles and behavioral problems just because of what he indured the first year of his life.

I also have the St. Dormeir wool pad. You can wash it (though I haven't yet), but it would not protect the mattress from seepage if a kid has an accident. As far as pillows, they are the hardest thing to recommend to someone else because preferences vary so greatly. When we bought our latex mattress, I tested the various latex pillows at the store and could not find one with the right loft. I ended up with a shredded latex pillow, which worked well for me because I could remove the amount of latex necessary to make the pillow work for me. I now love it so much I bought one for my mom, since I was sure she'd love it, too. And she could not have hated it more. So now I have 2 nice shredded latex pillows! My recommendation for pillows is to go to a good bedding store and try them all out. Listening to people's recommendations online is likely to result in your spending good money on something that doesn't work for you.