I know exactly how you feel. My baby..22 year old Jessica graduated from college last June. She was at a college 3 hours away...I could jump in the car, drive over to Pensacola and have lunch with her whenever I wanted. So...she decided to go to grad school...get her Ph.d in Bio-Chemistry...in Arizona!! That is 3 days away....driving 10-12 hours a day depending if you have a lead foot or not. She packed her little car to the rim and drove all the way to Arizona...scared the life out of me! But we talk several times a day...send emails back and forth. She just flew home for a week this past Christmas...I was in heaven having her home again. I cried buckets at the airport when we had to take her there to catch her plane. I did wait until she had got on board before I broke down squalling like a fool in front of God and everyone!!! LOL So, I do know how much you miss her! I miss Jessica every single minute but I also know she is excelling in what she is doing and it makes her happy. Deb

I've always prepared a Spinach Madeline when I'm serving casseroles for a brunch. It just adds that special something. C&P from River Road Cookbook Spinach Madeleine Spinach Madeleine, the most famous recipe from the River Road Recipes cookbook series, has undergone a makeover! Kraft Foods has discontinued making its jalapeno cheese roll which is an important ingredient in the original Spinach Madeleine recipe. As a result, River Road Recipes has developed a substitute for the jalapeno cheese roll. We believe your family will never know the difference! Ingredients: 2 packages frozen chopped spinach 3/4 teaspoon celery salt 4 tablespoons butter 3/4 teaspoon garlic salt 2 tablespoons flour Salt to taste 2 tablespoons chopped onion 6 ounces Kraft Velveeta 1/2 cup evaporated milk 2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh jalapeno peppers 1/2 cup vegetable liquor 1/2 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Red pepper to taste Cook spinach according to directions on package. Drain and reserve liquor. Melt butter in saucepan over low heat. Add flour, stirring until blended and smooth, but not brown. Add onion and cook until soft but not brown. Add liquid slowly, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Cook until smooth and thick; continue stirring. Add seasonings, peppers and cheese which has been cut into small pieces. Stir until melted. Combine with cooked spinach. This may be served immediately or put into a casserole and topped with buttered bread crumbs. The flavor is improved if the latter is done and kept in refrigerator overnight. This may also be frozen. Serves 5 to 6. Spinach Madeleine is an extremely versatile dish. It can be served with crackers as an appetizer, as a side dish or even as a main course when stuffed in a tomato! Copyright © 2007, 2009 Junior League of Baton Rouge, Inc.

Diane, You mentioned more than once that you wish the older daughter that has you so unhappy, would be consistent toward you. If she were consistent with you, you would be better able to cope with her. You would have a better idea about what to think of her and how to respond, etc. Is this a good summation? This girl's behavier could be simply normal. Please don't attack me--let me explain why I think that. (I don't like the word normal--when referring to people--but I don't know a better word without going into some long monologue.) One day a kid will enjoy silly games, and the next day sees silly games as babyish. One day a girl will want a cell phone and the next day rant for a popsicle. I've noticed this kind of thing with girls much more than with boys. Maybe you have some very good examples. Maybe this girl has passed this stage. You described a girl that knows how to be sweet to you when you are doing something that she likes, but will show serious disrespect at other times. The bad part, on your part, is that you are responding with feelings that show you take her behavier personal. I can hear you saying, 'of course!'. I don't want to say that you are not partly responsible for the way the girl thinks of you and it would be accurate to take some behaviers personal, but I'll bet there is much more to her behavier than what you are responsible for. If you want to respond better, then you need to understand her better and how the two of you are relating to each other (counseling). Just because you go out to work and provide for the family, shop, do laundry, etc., etc., etc., children do not think of you as you think of yourself. You have to get this. Same with you and your husband. Just because you think you are good at communicating (or whatever) doesn't mean that is what he thinks of you. Your identity seems to be wrapped up in how people treat you. When that goes on, then you end up feeling like a yo-yo. You feel good if people treat you good and feel lousy if people don't respond to you the way you think they should. The person that needs to be consistent is you. Please understand that you control your behavier and what you think. Let me explain a little more. Here is a common story. A guy worked very hard at keeping his property well taken care of, his home was always kept repaired, he did a great many chores around the home--probably outworked every guy on the street. He was gone for 10/12 hours a day with his job, took care of the cooking a couple times a week, spent time studying the markets and invested his money wisely, took care of the budget, went to kid's football gamesto watch his kids in the marching band, payed for his kids to have music lessons for years and years, and all that you might think his family would appreciate, and hardly ever did anything that was relaxing--except have a few beers once in a while. His family liked him, or at least he thought they did, and everyone seemed to like their life. All seemed fine. One day this hard working, great guy gets an envelope delivered to him--one Saturday. Beautiful day! Guess what he was being served--yup! His sweet wife that he had been pampering and running his butt off for since day one was having him served with papers. Why? She didn't get enough attention and she found the kind she wanted some place else. Something called mental cruelty. No joke--he didn't think that his life being screwed with was anything he ever deserved. He didn't know that he didn't know his wife; he didn't know that he didn't know his kids. He didn't know that he was just making himself happy. Whatever. He didn't know he was self-absorbed. He just thought that he was doing all the things a good husband, provider, and father should do. So while he felt pretty good about himself--his family were strangers to him. Should you feel sorry for this guy or for his family? I'm only trying to make the point that the way you see yourself may not be the way you are perceived by another person. Maybe everyone else treats you ok, but this one person does not--and the rejection or whatever you want to call it, is causing you too much pain. I strongly advise you to get counseling. You may be headed for some depression or some other kind of stress that will end up taking a toll on your health, your life, your job or something. If you can't get your family into counseling--then go just by yourself. You need the kind of relief that does not come by a good nite sleep, or a vacation, or by reading a good book on what goes on in the mind, etc. The kind of help you need will take time. No doubt in my mind that you will enjoy your experience and become a much happier, better person.

Odd!? I just printed that and put it on my desk... last week. Must be on everyone's mind! Right up there next to the one from here, I do enough, I have enough, I am enough.