Difficult to deal with a problem if you're unable/unwilling to acknowledge what it is. Maybe there's nothing to be done. Maybe there are things available that would help out. I'd vote for finding out and taking a new look from there.

Maybe call the geriatric specialist's office and ask for some tips. The drugs for early dementia are a real help, and worth making the effort.

Your difficult situation is another manifestation of the great difficulty we have with shifting roles from child to parent. Think of what you would do for a child in a similar situation. Yes, your parents are not children and deserve to be treated with all respect and dignity. It's a tough conundrum, I know. Do what's best for your folks, and continue to be an advocate for them. You are doing a great job!

It's difficult to know just what is the best thing to do.
I know that for my husband, it was just getting him to accept that he was no longer in his 50s and could not work out in the heat like the used to. Nor was he as strong. Finally, an emergency trip to the hospital got through to him that he had to take it easy.

Should someone have stepped in earlier and had his physical condition evaluated? I doubt that it would have helped one bit.

And so it is with mental/dementia problems. Sometimes it's the right thing to do. Other times, it just makes matter worse. I think that when the day comes that a person has to admit that things aren't like they were, it is really rough on some. Others have prepared themselves and are ready to accept the age.

Just do what you can and try to get your mother to see that things have changed. And she must accept that there are going to be major changes in her relationship with her husband.

Agnes, this thread got spammed by someone who dredged up a 5 year old thread.

Oh shucks!! And I am one of those that always remind people to look at the date on the original post.

I did look at the link. It refers to Geriatric Rehabilitation specialist. I had to wonder, How do you rehabilitate a 90 yr old? Will he be able to earn a living? Maybe feel as physically fit as he did when he was 87? Maybe, if it's a woman, she will remarry and start a family?

We all need to recognise that at some point we will be ELDERY and our lives will be different. I wonder about these young women that spend so much time (and money) on getting just the right make-up and skin care. Will they ever be satisfied with a natural look? Wrinkles and all!!!

You have more courage than I, to even click on the link. It could be a fake, or have other ads like some of the fake blogs, etc., some of which even pay the fake blogger to drive traffic to their sites.

Geriatric rehabilitation???? Well, if one needs rehab, like after surgery or a stroke or disease, that's usually handled by physical and occupational therapists.

Yes, it's going to be interesting to see how some of the younger people age. In real life, you can't airbrush a face like in a picture. Which is why some famous people who have had a lot of surgery tend to drop out of view as they age, a couple of notable actresses come to mind. They look ok in pictures (gee, doesn't she look good?) but on live TV, tend to look like positively odd.