I'm sympathetic to the challenges with mobility as I have a chronic illness with pain and fatigue complicated by a recent ankle fracture. Now my raised beds are more helpful than ever since I'm in a wheelchair for a season. I've done plenty of gardening with children both at my home & when working with our camp's nature center, so hope these tips help you out. 1. Plan ahead to have supplies ready for them to do something hands-on for each gardening session. It's not fun for them to watch you do it without getting their own chance. 2. Involve them from planting to harvest. 3. Ask what they want to grow & eat. 4. Include your food service staff in on the process. Might be fun to have chef/cook out in the garden, too. 5. Get donations for weed free soil mix ingredients like square foot gardening method suggests (bagged compost, peat moss, vermiculite). Method doesn't use any fertilizer just the compost, so no fertilizer burning of crops. Keep gardens weed free by controlling nearby weeds in the ground & mulching (especially in the off season if you're not year round gardening) 6. Plant short rows. 7. Assign space to people or individual crops. 8. Create themed gardens such as: salad, pizza garden, tea garden, soup garden, butterfly, hummingbird, etc. 9. Use transplants or only easy seeding with seed tape for small seeds (homemade could be fun project) or just plant large seeded crops from seed. 10. Plant transplants of lettuce at the same time as planting seeds. Can also be done with cucumbers. Then they can compare which is growing faster & how the seedlings may catch up with the transplants. 11. Encourage participation by having names of jobs like planter, gentle rain maker, garden scouts to look for the sprouts or fruit, insect spy, weather watcher, etc. That way everyone has a job whether than can be hands on or not. 12. Make highly visible secure labels (also make a garden map to keep track & redirect if gardeners get off track) 13. Take photos of seedlings when sprouted for future label to include seedling & mature crop photo on tag. 14. Expect labels to move around & replace as needed. 15. Use harvest baskets (check for 2nd hand or dollar store plastic coated wire baskets) & scissors vs knives for harvesting. Rinse harvest in the basket while outside or plunge into a clean bucket of water. Swirl in a circle overhead by handle or shake to reduce water. Put in shade or cold water as soon as possible. Wash again inside according to food service procedures. 16. Make gentle rain makers: Use smallest bit to drill holes in lids of plastic water bottles up to a liter. Squeeze to make rain & won't wash away seedlings. Store in laundry baskets or milk crates out to the garden & so water warms up in the sun. 17. Create a watering schedule or system to help make sure it gets covered regularly from edge to edge. The SFG soil less mix prevents overwatering, but does need more watering in hot weather especially if a raised to wheelchair height container with less than 12" depth of soil. 18. Provide for seating, sun protection, have alternative activities for those that don't want to touch dirt (just want to watch or tell others what to do). 19. Gather community partners to help directly or with money or in-kind donations for: seating, water features to attract birds (pondless fountain, concrete not slippery ceramic or plastic birdbath). 20. Encourage youth organizations to get involved such as Campfire, 4-H, Scouting, Awana, local horticulture FFA or college programs. 21. Start small & build on this 1st year experience to make improvements for next year.

Oh my! I understand the roller coaster you're on, garden wench. Mum had a stroke in July 04 and is back home with me, mercifully. It's difficult to watch a parent struggle with things that used to be reasonably simple. It's difficult to be "in charge" of not only care and medical decisions, but finances, as well. Clothing: pull on pants are WONDERFUL! I bought 4 pair of the pull on, stretch cordouroy ones that were in the Lands End catalogue last fall. Mum LOVES them; they wash and wear like a dream, and they fit her well. I had good luck with LL Bean in fall 04, buying slacks in a heavy-weight knit AND buying the coordinating tops, too. Mum has trouble with buttons, so I try to find things that pull over the head and have buttons as a pretty detail, or a pretty neckline/collar. I've had great luck at Eddie Bauer, too... lovely cotton sweaters and stretchy turtlenecks. I generally order 1 of something from a catalogue, once it's been tried on and receives the thumbs up I get right on line and order several. Buy things that will tolerate the industrial laundry service at a nursing home. Mum lives with me, so I am able to spend time with stain removal and the few "handle with care" items she has in her wardrobe. I was trained as a tailor, and I sew for a living. I do all the required alterations myself, saving snippits of the fabric to take with me when I stop by a store. I'm able to match things and get wonderful bargains. I insist that Mum have socks that match her slacks, lol, I insist the woman who helps her bathe use them, too! Mum was very fashionable before her health crashed and I have maintained that aspect of her life for her. She has pretty scarves, nice accessories, and they are all there for the "bath lady" and Mum to peruse and choose. I have patterned things that she likes particularly well, and have made new ones for her in new and exciting fabrics. I have found several stores where the saleshelp is patient and fun. I scout the stores for "good stuff" and then take Mum OUT, we go midweek when things are not very busy; we have a blast. I find shopping for shoes to be particularly trying. She is incredibly fussy, and she has to have "good, sensible shoes". I have to take her shoe shopping again, and I dread it. I take her for a haircut every 4 weeks. She has great hair, and gets a stylish, short haircut (easy to maintain and style), and has her nails trimmed, shaped, and buffed. I refuse to allow her look "shaggy", sloppy, and "old". Even her eyeglasses are fashionable! and we have to address the need for some sunglasses, a new wallet, and a "user friendly" handbag, too. Ugh... The helpmeet is often frustrated by our lack of freedom, too. But he is wonderful with Mum. I get her up in the morning, make sure she's washed and dressed and at the breakfast table. I usually see that she has taken her morning meds. and has her bowl of fresh fruit and a cup of tea/coffee (decaf. only). He takes over and prepares her an egg, pancakes, french toast, etc.. He returns home for lunch and sees that she has lunch with him. I'm home in the afternoon and see that she has a snack, water, and goes outdoors for exercise. I do the lion's share of her care (urostomy changes, and requisite daily maintenace), involving her as much as is practicable, but he is wonderful with her! good humored and patient beyond measure. I have to do her finances tonight, as a matter of fact. It always seems worse than it turns out to be, but it does add an additional 1/2 hr. to what's already been a long day. I understand. Hang in there; you will find a way to make it all work, but it takes time, patience, and sense of humor.

For us, my sons assets could not be more than $2000. Medicare paid the first 100 days after the initial 3 day hospitalization, and then Medicaid picked it up. There are still some charges that mMedicare pay for but mostly it is Medicaid. Because we are now legally his guardians, we have two accountings to do each year, one for the state, and one for the courts because he is an incapacitated person. These accountings are very thorough, and included copies of all bank and tax records. Thwere are some very nice options if full time skilled nursing is not required. Our son spent time in a family home, that was wonderful. They were a large family and had three paying residents. Unfortunately he got sick and there was fear, he was ocntagious so we placed him in the nursing home. All nursing homes are not the same. Your friend or an agent looking out for her, needs to check the facility out by being there at meals, when they first get the day started, and times when there should be some activities available. If they don't allow you to check it out, cross it off your list. Check the kitchen and the foods served. Do they have a choice of foods? So much to check, but someone needs to be an advocte for her. Residents are so vulnerable, and if it turns out to be a bad situation, it can be overwhelming for her. An advocate can make sure it is going as smooth as possible. Never assume anything either. This got long. Sorry.

Not a frequent poster but I've certainly enjoyed following your home posts Bodica. You are in an intense phase of grief. "Did I inconvenience.." that is blaming the victim; don't do it. Remember that even though it was not installed, your mother knew that you were advocating for her right up to the end. Institutions can cause so much pain. I don't have experience with nursing homes yet, but the pain the hospital caused me and my daughter at her birth and in the following days took years for me to recover from. I wish I had spoken to a counselor or therapist bc it was very hard on my husband and I. What eventually healed me was the natural process of how dendrons/memories change in the brain (softens the memory; it's been documented), and also looking at how happy/free from hurt my daughter is now. Your mother is free from the pain now, I hope that is a comfort to you. Unfortunately many of us have gone through these nightmare experiences of intense pain; loss of loved ones, injustice. Some say call a lawyer, in certain cases I might, but also I just try to be more loving to the ones I've got left. That is what heals me and honors those who are gone. Best of luck, and fwiw, I'm sure this thread will help countless others. I'd never given a washlet a second thought before, but now it's high on my list for older loved ones and someday me.