Soooooooooooo sorry your kitty died, Karen ! :-( There are good people / competent people in every profession.There are also people who should never be near anything living! If you have ANY doubts about what someone tells you, ask questions and DO NOT let them rush through their answers ! If you feel at all uncomfortable about a treatment suggestion (or attitude) WALK OUT and find someone you trust. This is your family member and they deserve the same respect and care as any one in need. I have found that many owners know what needs to be done in many circumstances and some times it does make my job a whole bunch easier because the major problem has been resolved, or nearly so. :-) You are right. No one knows their pet better than their owner. Oh sure we might know technical terminology like: "boo boo elbow" or other things but the bottom line comes down to ONLY YOU KNOW what is best for your pet! For example, chemo may be OK for some but not OK for others, no matter what the vet says and the decision you make for your beloved family member IS 100% right for you! My Mikey, my very best fuzzy friend ever, a grey kitty, had squamous cell carcinoma in his mouth. I knew as well as his oncologist, there was not really any hope to prolong Mikey's life. We did try 2 courses of chemo but most importantly his pain was under control. Mikey died 32 days after I found the bump on his gums that was smaller than the size of a BB pellet. One month later, Teeb, another kitty , had intermittent diarrhea. She went for endoscopy and we found intestinal lymphoma. Following numerous e mails and phone calls to human and vet oncologists it was determined that form of cancer was not painful. Chemo would buy her another 9 months of life. OK. We went for it and we got 22 more months with Teeb! I would say 95% of her days were good days. If she could wake up, get petted, eat and slug the other cats who got out of line, that was a good day! After all, Teeb was the kitty who was in charge of the rest of the kitty herd. :-) Bosco, the GSD, had a very guarded prognosis with his type of cancer. A very aggressive hemangiosarcoma of the spleen generally spreads and kills 80% of the patients within 1-2 months of the initial diagnosis. We were ~~VERY~~ fortunate to detect it early and remove the cancerous spleen in an almost bloodless operation (to decrease microscopic spread of the tumour cells throughout his doggy body) and we started chemo exactly 10 days after the surgery. He still had his stitches in his belly when he started his chemo! We **NEEDED** to try to prolong his life for a multitude of reasons. True, we are very fortunate that I am a vet and most things are either free (like x-rays, surgery, bloodwork) and the treatment was done at cost through the extraordinary generosity of the oncologist who cared for our Mikey and Teeb. Had I been a "real person" our cost for Bosco would have been just over $5000.00 total! WOW!! I don't know that we would have been able to afford that, even though the cost was spread out over 4 months. (That price does not include the follow-up met check radiographs and bloodwork after December 2005.) Thankfully all has turned out far better than anyone anticipated for Bosco. :-) This was the right decision for US. Had someone else been in the exact same circumstance and decided not to go further with surgery or chemo, that would be the exact right decision for them! Everyone is different and only YOU know and understand what your beloved family member can or should endure. They know only you and have complete trust in you caring and love for them. This trust can never be betrayed and don't let any one try to force you or your pet into anything with which you are uncomfortable! Mmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee. (((BTW Semper .. the full colour photograph of the 3 pound cancerous tumour is available for your viewing when you request it. :\-) )))

The ones we order certainly are more delicate in general than the supermarket varieties that are bred to deal with the neglect they often receive in stores that don't specialize in plant care. Doesn't make the loss any easier. So many of the best looking hybrids just fail to thrive once taken out of conditions similar to those they were hybridized in. GCTBA- It depends on the supermarket/plant shop. In the US some supermarkets and plant shops do carry named violets, but it's common. If they are Optimara brand (as they often are) the plant is named, but sold without a label, so identification using Optimara's site can be tricky. Most AV people here use specialized shops. They have greater variety anyway.

Yes, last Friday I met my first assignment. She's been widowed 11 years, and her children don't live here, the closest is about an hour and a half away. She'd like a house-share, and she has a lovely home, but we also started to discuss her kids. One wants her to move into a senior place like where my Mother lived, and another child wants her to move to where he lives, maybe buy somehting like a condo up there. But she says she's not ready for that yet. SHe's a young 83, but very lonely. She's been in her home for 37 years, and she feels surrounded by her memories. She's all too willing to talk, and I had trouble getting out of there on time---I didn't get out nearly on time! But she's a lovely lady, and I think that talking about this will help. She may not be ready to solve all this right away, but she's willing to talk over the possibilities. Thanks for asking, PB!

Mari, Hi! Sounds like I'm in a similar position to your sister. In October I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer that had spread. At our first meeting with the oncologist i was told that this is not a curable cancer and that with no treatment I would live 6 - 9 months and with treatment 9 - 12. I was not a candidate for surgery or radiation since the cancer had spread so much. The oncologist was proposing an aggressive chemo that had only a 40% response rate. 2 year survival less than 5%. However he added that what I had going for me was that I was young (44) and in great health (other than this little problem) and that someone had to be in the 5%. Hospice was never mentioned. I began chemo on 10/17 and just finished the 6th round (it will go on indefinately). However the size of my tumors have shrunk 60% since diagnosis and no new ones. So far I'm a success story. The doctor is even talking about giving me the "summer off" if I continue to respond in this way. While the chemo is certainly no picnic; it is not as bad as I thought. Nausea/vomiting is 100% controlled by medication; so that is not a problem. Being bald is the least of my problems and hey I don't have to shave my legs. The worst is the fatigue and some bone/muscle pain 9bedrest and Tylenol help but out of every 21 day chemo cycle I feel more or less like myself for about half the days. Anyway... I don't know if my situation is relevant to your sisters but I wanted to give you another perspective. Everything I have heard about hospice has been wonderful and won't hesitate when the time comes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.