I have the same problem, and I've found that wearing my hair up gets me a lot of compliments because it seems to add heigth to the face, which seems to be key. That's obviously not the answer for everyone; you have to have a little length to get it up there. It's perfect for me because I live where it's hot & humid almost year round, and I don't want a short cut. And I hate that shaved look in the back too. I posted this same question several months back. I didn't find the perfect answer though. I did have a hairdresser tell me that you definitely do not want any layers that end at cheek level.

I just type the word "hairstyle" or "haircut" into Google.com, and then when the results come up, I click on "images" on the top left (which, if you're not familiar with Goodle, makes your search pull up thumbnails of images instead of text). Pretty awesome for finding haircuts! I've found my last three styles that way.

About a thousand years ago, I was a runner. I had a nice little runner's body. But then I got sick and couldn't run anymore and I sure packed on the pounds. It made me feel so bad about myself. A friend was asking me to go out to some clubs with her and I told her that I looked hideous and couldn't stand to go out in public looking so out of shape.... She just looked at me with her mouth hanging open. She had struggled her whole life with her weight and has always weighed a lot more than I do. I was only thinking of myself when I said I looked hideous and I honestly didn't even "see" her size, she was just my friend in my eyes. But I insulted her nonetheless. I still cringe when I think about it. We often say things only thinking of how we see the world. Posting photos of young, thin, attractive white people and lamenting how awful their hair looks can make a portion of the world who can never look like that feel badly about themselves. There is a whole lot of pressure out there for young women - particularly for young women of color - to have their hair look a certain way. If someone had posted a picture of their actual granddaughter looking this exact same way, people would be gushing about how beautiful she was. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm happy for you. Really - that's not sarcasm. I know this wasn't posted with the intent to make people feel bad. I'm just throwing out another perspective to consider....

Right now I am suffering from and growing out one of the worst haircuts I've ever had. Seriously, there is no styling it. I just let it air dry into its natural waves. Insult on top of the injury of my hair getting noticeably thinner. I was nearly in tears on my drive home. New haircutter (my past one had moved.) I went into the shop with a slightly layered (long layers) chin length bob with long bangs. It just needed about 1.5" off and a little shaping (tapering) at the bottom. I explained that I wanted the same cut - with my naturally very wavy hair, I didn't want any layers shorter than mid ear, and the overall length at the angle of my jaw, because at those lengths it is super easy to style but if shorter it gets wacky waves. Did she do that? of course not. Not only did she give me short layers, very short in back (except for the mullet that she left to meet the length I asked for), one side in front is shorter than the other and just now (almost a month later) the bottom length is just reaching mid ear. She just kept cutting and cutting, when I asked what she was doing she said "I'm just trying to get it to lay right" ! I cut off the mullet when I got home. It will probably be 3 more months before it has grown enough to re-cut and style again. Humph.