Have you ever noticed?

15 years ago

Just wondering if any of you have ever noticed on this Apartment Living forum that quite often, instead of the original question being answered, the OP is actually attacked? I have attended Gardenweb for several years and not noticed this on the cooking, cleaning, or appliance forums.... a little on the pets forum, but it is a lot worse here. Anyone else also notice that or know why it happens here?

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Comments (10)

iloveexercise
15 years ago
Actually,I've noticed it all over the GW forums.

Maybe they get their kicks trying to make others feel bad,or maybe they are SO PATHETIC,it's the only way they can make themselves feel better.
Maybe if they spent less time on here Judging others and more time in real life improving themselves they wouldnt feel so bad!

EVERYONE is an EXPERT,hahaha,right...I dont know why I asked for advice on here in the first place.Who knows what kind of people we are getting advice from!!!
lucy
15 years ago
I have noticed one thing, and that is that people often write in asking "for advice", when what they really want is vindication or back-up for their own wrongheaded ideas. They want people to agree with them, so they can feel they have 'permission' in a way to do what they've already decided on, regardless of how wrong it might be, and if they don't get it, or absolution for their crackpot ideas, they fly off the handle and say they're being attacked. Well don't ask for advice if all you really want is company for your agenda, rather than actual ideas on the issue as others might see it, or know it (if they're professionally knowledgable in the field), etc. Not everyone is going to agree with you on every issue all the time, that's not only unrealistic, but you'll also never learn anything that way and everyone has their own experiences to share, but they/we are all trying to help in our own way, so cool your jets and say thank you, instead of going off mad!
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vacuumfreak
Original Author
15 years ago
Lucy, that's not what I mean. I mean people will actually pick apart ONE piece of the post that has nothing to do with the original topic and make the whole thread about condemning the OP.

iloveecercise, I've been a regular member of the cooking forum for years and have even met some people from it and they are not like that at all... they are awesome! If you post on Apartments or Pets, you need to craft your post in a way that people cannot pick it apart and tear into you... and they still will!
sjarz
15 years ago
I don't normally reply when people pick apart my posts as I feel I have as much right to my opinion as the next person. Not that long ago I had to speak out as I was called out and it really made me angry -
some people on these forums look for trouble, others seem to think they can be the police and call everyone out for things said or commented on that don't fit with their own view.
I have a suspicion that some of these people were previously banned but have now returned with different user names. Some of the nasty comments I've read lately certainly seem to have a familiarity to them.
As I said I rarely lash back, but there are times when it just gets to the point of ridiculous.
Suzan J
User
15 years ago
I was torn into once when I asked a question about my water heater of all things. Ever since I word my posts very carefully.

As Lucy said, quite often people only want others to agree with them. If you say something they didn't want to hear, you are mean.
western_pa_luann
15 years ago
Too many people go off an a rant and want others to agree with them. When you don't, there is a problem.

If you don't want opinions, don't post!
willamae
15 years ago
Here is the way I see it:
This is the internet. Just about anyone can sit down, make a profile and start typing away. Whenever you post a topic,question or even a blog, you run the risk of being picked apart by others. Its a chance you take if you want advice from strangers.

On the other hand some people can be down right nasty towards you, and nobody should take abuse.

If someone disagrees with me so be it. If someone offers decent advice..excellent. I have my moments (like everyone) where I may be overly sensitive..or defensive. But I hope that most people on this site are mature, good willing adults
thegrinch17
15 years ago
Yeah, I have noticed this! The person who is doing most of the attacking is "Lucy" from Canada. She needs to be stopped! If anyone knows of a way to report her, let me know!
lucy
15 years ago
Grinch - I don't attack people, but what you've just written could be interpreted as slanderous.
thegrinch17
15 years ago
Sure, try & turn the guilt away from yourself & try making someone else look bad, Lucy! I expected as much. There is proof all over this website of the nasty things you have said to other people & it's uncalled for. I'm merely pointing out the truth & of course you don't like that. The truth hurts, you know. Give someone enough rope & they will eventually hang themselves is an old saying that comes in handy in this case...