just an observation

19 years ago

I usually interact on the Home Decor forum and just accidentally clicked on this one today. Since the "Subject" of several posts was somewhat intriguing, I read a little Â thinking IÂd just stroll down memory lane for a bit. You see, about 6 months ago I started getting overwhelmed with all the maintenance (and associated responsibilities) necessary to upkeep my home. I was considering leasing my home in lieu of renting an apartment again. And, until today, I thought this might alleviate some of my anxieties. I had completely forgotten about the negatives of "sharing walls" - and about having to deal with the people that live behind those walls.

I guess this forum is a place to vent Â and should keep that in mind - but wow, some of these posts floor me. I truly feel for you who are dealing with the noise situations and various forms of rudeness from your neighbors. But a couple of these posts are crazy Â i.e. a lot of attitude! If I ever share walls again, I hope that I will be a considerate and an understanding neighbor and will TRY to remember that the "outlandish" rules are for the betterment of the community, the noise is a result of basic construction principles and neighborÂs rudeness may be the result of MurphyÂs Law Â that IÂll gripe about them on a day that theyÂve just lost their job.

Good day to all of you and keep your chins up Â the grass is always greener on the other side (and many of you just reminded me of that)! Back to my grass mowing Â which is 114" high and filled with mosquitoÂs.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (4)

talley_sue_nyc
19 years ago
also remember that MOST of the people who post here are the ones who are having problems.

People who don't have problems, don't mention it.

I have almost never had a neighbor who was inconsiderate. Once, I think, and once I got a change to exchange more than 2 sentences with him, things were easier for me.

So there are pleasant neighbors in apartments.

I think the attitude you outlined is a sensible one.

I hear my neighbors walk above me now and then, and I've heard the laughter from their parties, or the music from their instruments or their stereo. Never so loud that I can't ignore it.

When I hear their nosies, it is first filtered through the basic fact that *I wish them well and like them*. This makes it easy to say, "Oh, Lee's having a party, how nice for her" instead of "what are they doing up there, i wish they'd shut up."

There's an unspoken deal I make w/ my neighbors--I refuse to *notice*. I hear, I just don't remember. I think all NYers make this adjustment. Someone can bump into me on the subway, apologize, and get a "what?" in return--I paid so little attention that I don't even REMEMBER that they jostled me. Ditto w/ the ordinary noises my neighbors make. The less I dwell on it in my OWN mind, the less of an impact it has.
motherscothie
19 years ago
Talley Sue, your repsonse to this and other posts I've seen in these forums prompts me to say you are one of the most sensible and likeable people it's ever been my pleasure to encounter since I started posting on message boards 7 years ago. Wish I were one of your neighbors.

If only folks would remember that others have their woes and worries as well. Most people aren't trying to screw over the people in the apartment next to/above/below them. We just all have lives to lead and "stuff" happens.

A bit more patience and tolerance would go a long way to improving the world.
Related Discussions
Just bought my first lawn tractor....
Q
Comments (19)
If you had measured a JD at Home Depot, don't know if they sell the same model, you'd likely have seen the same poor interface you got a Sears. That's part of why buying from a dealer cost more, you get better/knowledgeable interfaces. In my case I don't want any help or home repair, albeit I'd not object to a warranty repair, never had one on 40+ years of yard maintenance,the last 20 with over 3 acres of mowing, plus all the other stuff... I am about 95% Sears/Craftsman, and that included my wood shop and auto tools too. While I was disappointed in Sears dropping its extensive catalog business (guess that's been more than 20 years, some of the young types on this forum didn't have any experience with that), and was again disappointed when K-Mart (of all the companies) bought Sears. My last tractor purchase was a DYT4000 in 2005, and while it has a much more flexible frame than my still in use 1993 GT6000, it is a great lawn mower. About to replace my 20 year old Sears self propelled lawn mower with a Walmart Yardman with a Honda GVC160 engine, so that'll be a break with Sears on may years of using their lawn mowers. Sears, like all other business, have to win customers every day, but I am a lost when I read complaints about Sears in the Past...I've been and continue to be happy with their products, and couldn't care less if the salesman knows anything beyond filling out the purchase order.
...See More
Just an observation
Q
Comments (5)
Sandy, the golds seem to be acting like butterflies, right? They spread the wings on cool mornings to catch the rays and warm themselves. Plants can do the same thing, like the "sensitive plant" and the mimosa as well. And long term, the limbs on the sunny side of a shrub grow toward the light. Plants are interesting, and I suggest you read some of Michael Pollan's books. Especially THE BOTANY OF DESIRE. I think the light gold leaves tend to bounce the heat of the sun back and it moderates the debilatating effects of bright direct sun. I'm experimenting now with some golds in a lot more sun, to see what happens. So far, our days are not so hot that the leaves are scalded or damaged. Well, maybe just on one plant. My older Sum And Substance has two leaves with some damage which I think may be related to a heavy rainfall and wind a few weeks ago. I will put him (should be a leap year hosta) in a whiskey barrel all by himself and see if that is of any help. Once I do that, no more moving him around. As good as planted in the ground.
...See More
Just an observation: Self healing screen/display
Q
Comments (1)
Good thing is, the ink hasn't leaked sliding and blinking obnoxious advertisements onto the floor, yet :)
...See More
Observations - Money Saving and Value Added
Q
Comments (11)
What a great subject for discussion! I can see the "evolution" too. When cars were much simpler we did a lot more shade tree mechanics than today. We've done all our own home remodeling, built a 3-car garage and everything that goes along with the effort. We added a lot of value to our home when we sold it without paying for labor. Back then, we actually enjoyed doing these things, but now we look for qualified professionals for many of the things we once did ourselves - for a lot of reasons. I'm not going to shingle a roof anymore and cars are way too complicated for us to mess with. This is money well spent in our eyes. Being thrifty, saving money and seeking out value isn't simply about budgeting, although that is part of it. I honestly believe it's a character trait. That trait, in practice, means you often defer gratification because you look into the future, not just think of "the moment". For instance, once we had a paid-for used car, back when we were first married, we realized if we continued to put that same amount (or more) away in the bank, the next time we purchased a car we would have the money and would save a lot of $$$ by not getting a loan for it. A good lesson on paying yourself FIRST. Most people pull out the credit card for a vacation and perhaps pay it off just in time to charge Christmas on it - we saved and paid for the vacation to the debit card account first, and then took the paid-for vacation. We've never put Christmas on a credit card - we've always saved for it. Set a budget, found bargains long before the first Christmas music has been played in the stores, and am ready to enjoy the "season" by the time Thanksgiving has arrived. I'm always amazed by people who can't seem to remember Christmas is December 25th -- EVERY YEAR -- and how it sneaks up on them... I think my depression and WWII era parents instilled the value of avoiding debt, waste not - want not, ideology. I remember them saving dollar bills and change in a canning jar to buy a refrigerator rather than putting it on payments. That was a valuable lesson. Neighbors who bought savings bonds every month so they could retire in comfort - and they did. Our big deal, if I had to name the top one, is to avoid debt. It's not just about bargain hunting or getting a great deal. What have we gained by avoiding debt? We have more freedom to do things we find important, but can also pay for them without sacrificing all that we've worked for. From AESOP, " The Ant and the Grasshopper": "It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow." -Grainlady
...See More
SWeir
19 years ago
Hi, I am new to these boards and I live in an apartment now after having lived in a house for 10 years. I never plan to live in a house again unless the house is my own. I rented a house for the 10 years and never got any maintenance done. Living in the apartment is a wonderful thing, I have all maintenance taken care of, no yard to mess with. I also have three wonderful neighbors and also back to back neighbors. Sure, sometimes the noise level gets high, but I don't complain, but then, no one complains about my dog barking either. So, if you work with the people living around you, it is easy to get along.
talley_sue_nyc
19 years ago
Thanks so much, motherscothie! What a nice compliment!

There are some neighbors who are hard to be reasonable around, and difficult to work with.

I'm lucky not to have been surrounded by them, and not even to have one very close at all. I feel sorry for the folks who are stuck living next to them.

But I also think we get a chance to decide how much to dwell on it.

SWeir, I own my apartment, so I have to do all the maintenance on it myself--remodel the kitchen, figure out how to un-stick the door. It's HARD! Thank goodness I don't have to figure out how to fix the roof, or when to fix the boiler.

I'm on the board, but still, it's a group effort. We contemplate buying a house, and I just cringe at the thought of shoveling snow, doing landscaping, worrying about fences or cats&dogs, fixing the driveway, gutters, oh my goodness, I need a nap!

If you can have a reasonable tolerance all around in your rental building, renting sure is easier!

just an observation

Comments (4)

talley_sue_nyc

motherscothie

Related Discussions

SWeir

talley_sue_nyc

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US