Hey Tish! Nothing will be like you think and something will go wrong. As long as you handle it with affection and aplomb, it'll be ok. I've been married three times (UGH! let's don't go there). The first time was the huge white wedding with a veil that was hot glued to a headband and then flowers hotglued over it (tip there since you asked!), very formal in a church, and very somber... the flower girl did very well dropping her petals, until she got to the end of the aisle, turned, and ran up it yelling Mommy, Mommy, I did it! And the third one I only got to see/hold my bouquet for about ten minuets. It disappeared never to be seen again?! Just give it a good laugh and enjoy it as "memorable" when it happens. because. It will. (((smiles!!!)))

Gee, thanks, WH! But, i retired from Auto body work at the age of 72, not because i was tired of it, but because i became allergic to the paint! So, not being disabled, other than my Army given wooden left foot, i found that sitting around doing nothing would not be good for my longevity, so i set out to fix lawn mowers and related machinery. That has worked well so far. Another season is coming soon. And, i'll be hanging out my shingle again. I didn't know much about mowers, other than where to put the gas in, or how to sharpen the blades, etc. But, i found some booklets from B&S and Tecumseh, and with a good memory i managed to make a small business out of it. I'm now 6 months past my 85th. birthday, and eagerly looking forward to another good year! I owe it all to a good wife, a good cook, a good house-keeper, my musical ability, and a beer a day, whether i need it or not! And, a half a grapefruit and raisin bran every morning, except Saturday, when i eat bacon and eggs! And, thanks for the vote of confidence: Rusty Jones

Hi Debbie - Jumped in to check on you today and am so happy to see your post. Know that just by getting up and brushing your hair and teeth in the morning that you are strong enough to move ahead day to day. Despite the snow (even we here down "south" got snow yesterday) take heart and know that spring will bring sunshine and warmer breezes into that newly painted, cheerful bedroom of yours. You did a really good thing for yourself by painting. This is your home and it needs to be a place that makes you feel happy to come home to. Chelone, I understand how you are feeling also. We are finally at the point where we need to discuss alternate arrangements with my FIL, as our family is bordering on the breaking point. Everyone is trying their level best, but it is apparent that we are nearing the tipping point where he continues to thrive at the cost of the remainder of the household who must accommodate him. He is now 94 and a half. I wrestle every day with the question of how do I know when I can truly no longer do this... because we know we can bear almost any situation "just another day" and then "just another week" as others do in similar situations or worse. I beat myself up every day thinking "if I only could be more patient I could do this as long as it takes". "If only I weren't so self centered then maybe I could provide this care without feeling wrung out." There are people who seem to have an endless capacity for loving and giving and caring no matter how frustrating it gets. They just keep on giving and loving and caring with joy. I envy them so much. I know that I love my FIL - after all, I have been caring for him for more than 6 years and we are very close. So I know that when the time comes for him to leave our home, I will be a mess. A mixtue of guilt and grief and relief and sadness at the end of an era in my life. Debbie I'm so proud of you. Do your friends and neighbors a huge favor and make it a point each day to accept at least one person's offer of help. Al's friends and your neighbors are grieving in their own way at als passing, and helping you in some tangible way would help them too. Really. We feel helpless when we know we could be making someone's day easier somehow but they won't accept our help. Maybe there is some way to connect Matthew with a trusted friend who could do guy things with him from time to time? That would be a help to YOU as much as to him. I'd wager that there are several people who would be honored to do that for Al. Maybe a friend would take Carley over to the nail salon and treat her to a manicure. $10, such a little thing, but would make her feel special and loved if a manicure isn't something she would usually do for herself. The next time someone asks how they can help, have a little errand or two at the top of your head each morning that would be a big help if you could delegate it. I offered to take a friend's cans and bottles and cardboard to the recycling center for her after her husband died. It was an easy thing for me to do on my way to the recycling.... but a HUGE project for her in addition to all the other #$%$ she had to think about. The recycling wouldn't have made it to the top of her to do list for weeks and would have sat there weighing on her and piling up. Just a little thing to me , but it was big to her and I was so happy to know that I had really helped make her day a little easier. When I see her now, she will always give me a hug and say "I can't believe you took my trash to the dump for me! I love you!" and I know she means it. So make a little list and accept people's offers of help. You know which ones really mean it! Easter wishes to all of you. Trish

Hi Patrick, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my brother about 3 months ago. He died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at 48 years old. It has been the worse experience my family has ever gone through. I think I have cried every day since his passing. I have found that talking & crying to my friends has helped a lot. I have been in touch with several of his friends & just hearing about how much he was loved by them really has helped too. I love hearing all the fun times they shared with him. It makes me feel close to him. Maybe you can get in touch with some of your mom's friends that would be willing to share their good times with you. Yes, the tears will come as you listen to the stories, but they will make you feel closer to your mom. I have also found that being able to visit my brother at his gravesite brings some comfort. There are days when I just cry & tell him how much I miss him & other days are ok...no tears...I tell him of things that have been happening. Maybe you can "visit" with her as well. I know how the pain can be unbearable at times & it is un-imaginable thinking about life without our loved ones. I am hoping that time will heal the pain. Going through all the emotional episodes does take it's toll on your mind & body. Try to keep busy, keep in touch with your friends. Most importantly, make sure you get some rest. I was the opposite & shed a few un-necessary pounds. Since my brother died of a heart attack, it has made me more aware about trying to have healthy eating habits. Are your siblings going through the same grieving process as you? I know people grieve differently, maybe trying to talk with them will help too. I wish you the best through this hard journey we all have to face at some point. Please keep in touch. Mary