Cactus - I think because we communicate here where we can't see a person's face or hear the inflection of their voice that we sometimes get off-track. (Insert here sad face and a really regretful person) And yes, we ARE all pals. But you're one of us too so... I was just a bit (ok, a lot) offended that I was being branded as a person that gave no consideration of the generation that will come after me and what they will deal with, along with being a person who wouldn't deal with the substance in my life-time. I promise you, I'm none of those. I really try to give careful consideration to that because honestly, my g-kids will inherit our place and I've got a pretty good idea of what they will and WILL not do. I live on an acreage that gives me many options as far as landscaping, etc. I'm just trying to make this a better place so that when I leave...I've improved it and made it better for the next person that lives in my "bit of heaven". One plant that I LOVE is what we call here "Mexican Petunia". In Florida, it's wildly invasive and even outlawed (from what I've read). Heck, I can't get the stuff to last here thru our horrible winters these last fews years and I love the blooms in summer! I've just got this HORRIBLE hill that is washing out monthly and I've GOT to come up with something that will hold it that I can afford. And yes, I'm willing to pay "sweat equity" to do it and do it right. I'm still young enuf...I think...maybe? ha! I've visited the bamboo forum, the tomatoe forum, the antiques forum and the harvest forum. Maybe some others too and they all have great info but this forum is about Oklahoma gardening and I just take that into account when reading. I've also got several very dear friends that no longer participate here because of ...."attacks"...and I hate that because they could really be contributing a lot. I'm just lucky that they are still my friends and I didn't loose them because of some unfortunate occurance. You've contributed a lot to us on natural landscaping and I hope you don't leave us completely. SO...okay, I said I was leaving this thread (ONLY!) and now I really, really will. Mia - I'll be watching my in-box for updates! After all...you just kinda know where I live so you could sneak in and plant this creature if it's really bad just to get back at me for .... something! LOL! Carol - I could get some goats but then I'd have to fence, etc. and you know the layout here...I'd have to get rid of them if they ate my plums because they (the plums) make the BEST jelly! Cactus, hope to see ya around! (and a big, waving "hello" to you too, Dawn!) Paula

"I can understand how CP feels she has to bear the entire burden at tiems."(sic) If you are referring to a "financial" burden, my DH pays a large sum of child support each month, more than enough to cover ALL of their groceries, clothing, CDs/games, activities and misc. expenses, etc. As for care of the DSSs (in addition to BM's DD), BM is lucky enough to have her parents live next door. BM is out of town a lot either traveling with her DH or taking her DD to national dance competitions, so DSSs spend a lot of time with their GPs and are frequently dropped off at BMs parents on Sundays after visitation. BM works part-time during the school year only, so she is able to be home when the children come home from school and has summers and holidays off with them. I am happy that DSSs enjoy such a great situation. It is quite a stark contrast to my situation, since DH and I (both professionals) work about 50+ hours a week, have no family nearby, so our DSs are in daycare/afterschool care, and we arrive home at about 6:30 pm every night. "Maybe since she was fronting the money for the downpayment she thought that the amount of the downpayment should be up to her. Maybe it worked better with her medical FSA." BM did not advance DH's portion. It is due to the orthod. I am not aware of a "medical FSA." As I said, there is no insurance coverage for this. DH pays 100% of health and dental insurance for DSSs but there is no orthodontic coverage. "That's the advantage of being the NCP who merely has to reimburse the CP for medical expenses. The CP has to actually pay the doctor or the orthodontist at the time of service, and the other parent can take his sweet time about reimbursing her." LOL at this one. You've got it all wrong. The "advantage" here is to the CP who went out and chose whatever orthodontic care she wanted then stuck DH with the bill. TOS, your bias is showing. You have absolutely NO basis to say DH is taking his "sweet time" in paying his 60%. I said the up front money is to be paid "immediately," and I've said NOTHING to indicate it will not be paid immediately. As I said, we HAVE the money to pay it. You really have to work hard to have that type of wilful blindness to the real issues--the fact that BM unilaterally chose: 1) when the braces would be put on; 2) by whom they would be put on; 3) the amount that would be paid for them; and 4) the payment arrangements, all WITHOUT consulting the person who is responsible for 60% of the payments. TOS, if you hope to have any credibility, you have to recognize that there are times when BMs are just WRONG.

"Elmer, is this getting to be a habit? You and me agreeing? Yikes! " Take any two people. I think it would be rare if they always either agree or disagree. That's why it's important to listen to all opinions, especially those you may think you disagree with, because a well explained opinion (not one that's simply a playback of a superficial soundbyte) always presents an opportunity to learn or to just better understand. Whether it's right or wrong, I have the same view about those lacking confidence as I have about those who suffer from stress, and I think the treatment is similar. I hadn't seen the NYT article before just glancing through it. With this soft stuff, the right analysis is the one that helps people perform better with life's challenges and feel more comfortable doing so. I'm not always at the top of my game in dealing with such stuff but I learned to be confident and how to comfortably deal with/minimize stress very long ago, early in my career.

Mine is very accurate! Your General Disposition At the present time, your behavior is characterized by your need for self-development. What you hope to achieve is an entertaining, interesting life which allows you to develop your abilities and bring your creative ideas to fruition without hindrance. If you have discipline and determination, you will probably attain this, and if you turn your alert attention inwards now and then, your very active mind can come to rest. Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most PleasingOf great importance to you now is... ...enrichment through expanding your horizons.With senses on alert, you seek contacts, knowledge and information which open the door to better opportunities for an interesting and entertaining life. For this reason, you probably spend some of your time in front of the screen. You are prepared to learn anything as long as it can be practically applied and it serves your personal development. Other topics which may be relevant for you now are a change of lifestyle, of scenery or of your occupational situation. Joyful self-development is unthinkable for you without... You can ask yourself: ...objective assessment of the situation.Whatever you perceive – people, things or information – you analyze it, both critically and with a certain amount of skepticism, because you want to be certain whether it is beneficial to you or not. You are not easily misled, and in line with the motto “once bitten, twice shy”, you keep your distance from everything that could damage your wallet, your reputation, your wellbeing or your peace of mind. One thing is utterly clear to you: your present situation requires... You can ask yourself: ...alert self-protection.You carefully scrutinize everything that crosses your path, and you don't say yes to it until it has passed your acid test. You decidedly and resolutely fend off everything that could hinder your personal development, and you keep your distance from unpleasant people who try to manipulate, define or influence you. The thing you have consciously planned is... ...relaxing favorite pastime.When the difficulties of daily life or human interaction become too much, you prefer to retreat to your favorite pastime, a quiet hobby or into the world of your thoughts, dreams and fantasies. If you try to achieve the necessary balance to daily routine through a regular practice of meditation, you will find what you have actually been looking for: inner detachedness and peace. It would also be ideal if you could occasionally spend time in the great outdoors. You believe a particular help in achieving the inner peace you desire is... ...a thorough solution to your problem.You can see it is now time to get up on your hind legs. You want to carry out your plans carefully and thoroughly and not be diverted from them. You take your tasks seriously and are not satisfied with half-hearted solutions or superficial answers. On the contrary, you try to get to the bottom of things, and you seek a radical solution to your problems. In the face of your personal problems you also concentrate on... ...joyful fulfillment of your desires.It is very important to you to achieve what you are striving for and to experience the joyful fulfillment of your wishes. The thing that actually often compels you into action is your deep yearning for unadulterated, lasting happiness and inner peace. If you seek these things in the realm of material possessions, relationships and experiences, you will suffer disappointment over and over again. Interpretation of the Colors You Find Most UnpleasantAt the moment you feel most anxious due to your... ...burdensome situation of suffering.You believe people should behave correctly, considerately and kindly towards you so that your interactions run pleasantly and without friction. Since this is frequently not the case, you often become indignant over their incorrect behavior and views or their lack of kindness. You easily get the feeling of being someone's innocent victim and believe you have every right to be outraged. You also suffer quite a bit due to your... Your unconscious advises you to: ...fear of rejection.You often feel isolated from other people by an invisible wall, and sometimes you get the creeping feeling that even the people you like don't really love you and possibly even reject you. On the other hand, you enjoy standing out from the crowd with your willfulness, unusual views and egocentric behavior. Your “distinctiveness trip” does win you attention, but not the warm-hearted affection you require. You get an uneasy feeling due to your... Your unconscious advises you to: ...exhaustingly stressful situation.The difficulties you are presently forced to deal with sometimes cause you distress and tax your energies. Instead of altering or leaving this situation, you heroically attempt to hold on and to act as if nothing were bothering you. In this way, you overextend yourself and become the victim of your own ambitious need to prove how strong you are. Your momentum has faded considerably due to your... ...painful sense of loneliness.Your need for loving company and tender physical contact is not being satisfied in the measure you would like. Your hunger for warm-hearted attention drives you to seek contact. Although you hold close association with a few people, when the interaction is over, you often feel lonely and left to your own devices. It saddens you to find so little understanding and responsiveness towards your needs and difficulties. Sometimes you feel sorry for yourself because of your... ...distressing relationship problems.At the moment, you are more aware of your personal needs, worries and problems, and this makes contact with others more difficult. Your relationship difficulties make you all the sadder because, under the current conditions, you need loving attention more than usual. It would be easier for you to get what you need if you were better able to put yourself in the other person's shoes. You inwardly sigh over your... ...inhibiting limitations.Difficult circumstances limit your opportunities for experience and your freedom of action. You feel deprived because you have to do without some of the things that would make life pleasant. You expect far too much understanding for your needs from other people, and as a result, you often feel disappointed. You might ask yourself how much understanding and empathy you extend to others.