Karyn, bells might work unless they keep ringing them too long and then my neighbor's dog will start barking like he does anytime he hears so much as a leaf fall! I will try to fasten the metal screen/fencing to the pond somehow after I get more fish. Have read where herons love ponds. Funny about rounding up minks for a coat! Kristy, thanks, but I did find a bulb of the EE -- think it was called Black Mask, and a couple of the epi orchids. Whoa Moonie, I can just see you trying to act like the turtle you had was not that kid's, lol! My pond continue during the winter. The WH get smaller as do the waterlilies, and the fish slow down, but they do swim up to the surface. Guess we all, back then, had no body fat, LOL! Tj, you were brave. I couldn't see myself handling a trap unless it was totally enclosed where I couldn't see the animal. I would probably not be able to put it in my car to drive somewhere else for fear it would get out in my car, LOL! However, I would have no problem in a trap that would instantly kill the varmint! Marian, great to see you post! Miss you around here. So, you don't think the bells would work? I could get some with different tones, LOL! Thanks for the offer; my waterlilies and water hyacinths pretty much survive each year. Thanks all.

mimiboo ~ We live in Wiccopee/Hopewell Junction in Dutchess County. Would you be interested in finding out about some of the off-beat "local flavor"? There are some great art galleries in Beacon and Newburgh, some terrific restaurants, and some fun places to visit.

Trust is about a lot more than keeping explicit promises. Maybe technically he did not break a promise, that doesn't mean he didn't break your trust. He disrespected you by going behind your back to do something you'd specifically told him you didn't want him to do. I assume you trust him to treat you with respect or he would not be your SO? Well, he broke THAT trust, whether or not he broke an actual promise. To make a more obvious example, I've never asked my BF to promise me that he will never hit me, and he has never explicitly made that promise. But I trust that he will not, and if he did, that would certainly be a breach of trust. (and he wouldn't get away with, but i never promised you i wouldn't do that so how can you say i broke your trust, blah blah...) Maybe you can come up with some ridiculous example you haven't actually promised you'll never do, but he would see as a break of trust if you did. "well, honey, I've never promised you that I won't blow our retirement savings at a bar, so I guess it wouldn't be breaking your trust if I did, right?" I can actually understand why he would want to fix the problem; she is his ex, you have to deal with her only because of him. I wouldn't want someone I cared about to have to deal with a negative situation caused by someone only because of me. Whether an ex causing problems, a friend of mine that didn't like him and was rude or whatever, my position would be my friend (or my ex, or my whatever) my problem, I'll deal with it you don't have to, you *shouldn't* have to. But I WOULD NOT disrespect someone by jumping in and trying to fix something I knew he wanted to handle himself. He shouldn't have done anything knowing you didn't want him to. Here is a link that might be useful: $216,632.43 Bar Tab

I guess I am really glad I live in the northeast. Twenty years ago when my then toddler was sick and hospitalized for several days, his siblings, who were 5 and 7 at the time, were allowed to visit whenever and for however long we wished. When my youngest was born almost 13 years ago, all 5 older siblings visited at the same time. Two of them were present at the birth, and they all could have been had they wanted to. The only requirement was that there be someone there who would be willing to take them out of the room if they changed their minds in the middle of labor. I recently visited a relative who had given birth by c-section, and one of her husband's friends came to visit with his wife and toddler about 24 hours after the baby's birth. Hospitals in this area, especially in maternity, are desperate for patients, and they try very hard to be patient-friendly. Of course the other thing to remember is that YOU are in charge of your own medical care, not them. You are the one paying a whole lot of money for the hospital's services. The patient has the right to decide who can visit and who can't. There is no reason to ask for permission. Actually, that is a good thing to keep in mind before you go into the hospital in labor, at which time you may not be thinking terribly clearly. Decide what you want - whether or not you want medication, whom you want to be with you during labor, whether you want anything special like a water birth - and let your doctor and the hospital know in advance, in writing. Then, barring an emergency, you are much more likely to have the type of birth experience you want. Also, I would recommend using a doula, especially if you are not confident that your husband will say and do all the right things during labor. Fathers are often not thinking particularly clearly at that time either, and it has been my experience that they are often more scared than the mother, who may be too busy to worry. It is very helpful to have someone reassuring you that you can do this, especially if the hospital staff is saying, "here, take some drugs." It is perfectly possible to deliver even very large babies without medication, as long as you have support. Bring the number of the local LLL leader with you to the hospital, and if possible attend at least one meeting beforehand. Child birth is not normally a medical event, but a wonderful but natural part of life. One of the many reasons the first labor is often more difficult is lack of confidence. The hospital staff and others (yes, I know, including me) tend to tell you what to do. After the first one, they are more likely to leave you alone and assume you know what you are doing.